


Some Kind of Home

by SansPellegrino



Category: Supernatural
Genre: :(, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Sexual Content, destiel is a side pairing so don't read it for that alone or you'll regret it, i'm sorry about that, kind of based on Shameless I think, like the family dynamics and stuff, most of the characters are actually children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:18:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 67,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1730843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SansPellegrino/pseuds/SansPellegrino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sam gets kicked out of his own house and ends up being taken in by the Miltons; a somewhat dysfunctional family of seven held together by the two eldest brothers in the absence of their parents.</p><p>Sam's plan is to stay with them until Dean comes home from serving in Afghanistan, and then he'll return to Stanford. But, as usual, other things just get in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

Luke’s ribs hurt. Like, they really hurt. He was sure at least three of them were broken, again, and that’s why Cas was helping him limp awkwardly down the street to the rickety piece of shit that was their house.

“Don’t walk so fast,” he muttered through gritted teeth and around an unlit cigarette, leaning heavily on Castiel’s shoulder for support. “Jesus, Cassie, it’s not a race.” 

“It’s two in the morning,” Cas grunts in retort. “I’m tired.  And if you weren’t so impulsive I could be in bed by now.”

Luke half shrugged, fumbling around in his pockets for a lighter, before grimacing and okay, no moving his shoulders, because it hurt like a bitch.

“You’re also heavy,” Cas added after a moment. “I mean really, Luke, you don’t even eat that much.”

Luke had just finished managing to light the cigarette between his teeth without feeling like he was going to throw up with the pain of moving his arms.

“I work out,” he snapped, wincing as Cas purposely jostled his arm. “It's muscle. Don’t do that, Cas, Christ!”

“You really shouldn’t smoke so much, you’ll get cancer at thirty and die.”

“I’m twenty five, don’t you think if I was gonna die at thirty it would show a bit more? Why are you being so pissy today?”

“If you don’t want me to be mad at you, then don’t phone me at two in the morning and ask me to pick you up because you’ve broken your ribs, again. You do this a lot and I’m getting sick of it, you’re supposed to be careful! You promised me when you took the job-”

“It wasn’t my fault this time, I- why have we stopped walking? Ours isn’t for another two blocks.”

“There’s a guy in the grass over there, I just want to check if he’s alright.” 

“Cassie,” Luke groaned in protest, taking another long drag on the cigarette held carefully between his lips. “This happens _all_ the time, he’s probably just passed out drunk and it’s not even cold out-“

Cas pulled away from him and suddenly the weight supporting Luke and holding him to his feet was gone. He collapsed, hitting the floor with a loud thud.

“FUCK,” he swore loudly, clutching at his ribs. “CAS, what the HELL?!”

But Cas was kneeling down over there on the grass, beside some poor sonofabitch who was lying on the half-collapsed fence belonging to the Anderson’s.

Luke grunted in pain as he tried to twist himself onto his knees, grimacing. He was never doing business with Mark Deckson ever again, not if it ended like this every time. He didn’t even get the goddamn money.

It wasn’t like he’d intended the whole situation to backfire. It was all going fine until suddenly it wasn’t, and Luke was lying on his side with a bloody nose and a few broken ribs, and what was almost definitely a sprained ankle. He was going to be put out of work for a week or something while it healed, because nobody would take him seriously looking as banged up as he was.

The time off was something he really couldn’t afford, because the gas bill was tomorrow, and the electricity bill was due next week and he still had to pull another $200 out of his ass. The others combined couldn’t make up that much money without him, he knew it, so the whole situation rested just like it always did- on his shoulders.

Luke let out a deep, almost pointed sigh, which came out mostly as cigarette smoke, glaring at the back of Castiel’s shirt. “Oi, I thought you said you were in a hurry to get back to bed, let’s fucking get out of here.”

“I recognize this guy,” Luke heard Cas say; although it was slightly muffled by the intense fucking pain he was in.

“I don’t care, Cassie, let’s go home.”

“I think he’s Dean’s brother. Sam, or something.”

“Dean…?”

“Dean Winchester.”

Well, shit. Cas _never_ stopped talking about Dean Winchester. He was his childhood crush or something, a closeted high school romance, and it wasn’t even like Cas had ever explicitly said anything about being gay, they all just kind of knew. There was no way that he didn’t have feelings for this Dean Winchester guy, that much was for sure. They were together _all_ the time.

That is, until the dude got deployed out to Afghanistan some time last winter, and Cas had just sulked in his room for a good three months. If this deadbeat comatose on the pavement was the famed Dean Winchester’s brother, then Luke had already resigned himself to the probability that they were going to be here for a little while longer.

“Your Dean?”

Luke had to squint slightly in the dark to see Cas’ head nod.

“Well okay, what’s wrong with him? Is he pissed to high heaven?”

This time Cas shook his head. “Doesn’t look like it. He looks more beat up than you, actually, which is saying something.”

Luke frowned. “Is he dead?” He craned his neck to try and see, but between the pain, the dark, and Cas’ body blocking the way, he couldn’t see much.

“No, he isn’t dead,” Cas snapped impatiently. “Sam? Hey, Sam, can you hear me?”

Luke could hear a slight grumbling sound. The dude wasn’t dead, so that meant they could leave, right?

“I’m still in pain over here,” He pointed out to Cas. “Me, Luke Milton, your brother? The one with the fucking broken ribs?”

“Shut up, Luke, he’s only a teenager. Sam, hey, Sam, look at me for a minute.”

“Cassie, I want to go home. He’ll be fine in the morning.”

“For god’s sake, I said the guy’s just as beaten as you! Will YOU be fine in the morning?!”

Cas sounded pretty pissed off now, so Luke let the subject drop. He let the cigarette in his mouth drop to the pavement, crushing it under one fist and ignoring the burn it left on his hand.

He sat uncomfortably on the dark sidewalk for at least ten minutes while Cas tried to will Winchester the Younger back into consciousness.

It was another five before Luke heard Cas getting clumsily to his feet, and when he looked over he saw that there was a teenager, no more than, what, eighteen? Draped over Cassie’s shoulders. He was really, really tall, with really, really long brown hair. And he was totally unconscious.

He blinked.

“Oh, HELL no.”

“What?!” Cas snapped, “We can’t just leave him here!"

“Yeah, Cas, we absolutely can.”

“Well, we’re absolutely not. He’s hurt, Luke, we have to help him.”

Luke stared incredulously at his dipshit of a younger brother. “Are you for real?! What about me?! You left me on the floor for twenty minutes while you tended to your ex-boyfriend’s kid brother!”

“He was never my boyfriend,” Cas said sourly, “And you’re still alive, aren’t you? Come on, get up.” 

“I physically can’t.”

“Don’t be such a baby, yes you can.”

 

*

 

“Who’s that?” Anna questioned as soon as Castiel had unceremoniously thrown both Luke and Sam onto the couch. “And what happened to Luke?”

“Work stuff, Carrot Top,” Luke sighed, ruffling the eleven-year-old’s red hair. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Because Alfie’s talking in his sleep again. Can’t he be moved into a room with Cassie and Gabriel?”

“No,” Cas said firmly. “Not until he’s at least ten. For now he can share with you.” 

“But I’m a GIRL! Naomi and Luke get their own rooms!”

“Naomi shares with Ruby,” Luke pointed out as Cas passed him a bag of frozen peas to put on his ankle. “And I pay 80% of the rent.” He winced, snatching a beer out of Anna’s hands. “You’re still too young for these.” 

“Gabriel drinks them!”

“Gabriel’s fourteen, you’re eleven,” Cas said patiently. How he remained so calm during these conversations they kept having over and over again was a mystery to Luke. He would have lost his shit by now. 

“Alfie drinks them sometimes!”

“No, we just fill the empty ones with juice so we don’t have to buy new bottles. Alfie drinks the juice ones.” 

“Oh.”

Cas smiled at her before exiting the living room, and a few seconds later Luke heard footsteps going up the stairs.

There were a few moments of blissful silence. Luke pulled another crumpled cigarette out of his pocket and lit it with a match, closing his eyes for a minute with a sigh. He felt the couch sink a bit further and knew that Anna had sat next to him, in between Luke and Sam.

“Who’s this guy, Luke?”

Luke opened his eyes to glance sideways. “That’s Sam, we think. Dean- you remember Dean Winchester? Cassie's-"

Anna nodded, eyeing the unconscious teenager.

"Yeah. Well, Cas thinks this is brother. We found him on the floor outside the Anderson’s place.”

“Why is he here?”

Luke shrugged, before wincing. “Beats me. You should go to bed, Anna. You’ve got school tomorrow, remember? It’s the last week before the summer holidays. And you and Gabriel have to get groceries after school, I wrote a reminder on the fridge but I wasn’t sure if you got it.”

Anna smiled. “I got it. Will you be up when we leave?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, I have to pay the gas bill before nine, and I’m expecting a call from Lily just before then.”

Anna’s freckled face crumpled up in a wince.

Luke smiled comfortingly at his sister. “Hey, it’s not like that. It’s just to arrange the money, we’re not still fighting.”

“Okay,” Anna said dubiously. “If you say so.”

“Go on,” Luke half chuckled, giving her a gentle shove. “Go to sleep, it’s nearly three in the morning.”

Anna tugged the cigarette out of his mouth and dropped it in his beer. “You too then. Night Luke.” His sister pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before skipping off up the stairs.

Luke stared sadly at his beer before placing it somewhat roughly on the table.

He waited until the creaking of the floorboards from upstairs stopped, meaning Anna was in bed, before he leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes again.

“Guess I can’t sleep here, huh,” he sighed after a few minutes, opening them and glancing over at the gangly-limbed, long-haired teenager lying slumped over a few feet away from him. “Do you need a blanket or are you okay?” 

He took the silence to mean either the kid didn’t want one, or wasn’t conscious enough to notice. He could hear breathing, which at least meant he was alive. He didn’t look to be in such good shape though, Luke noted, if the dried blood on his face and the bruises on his arms and half-exposed chest were anything to go by.

“Whatever,” Luke sighed as he painstakingly got to his feet, doubling over as he felt his ribs grind together. “Oh god,” he winced, “That’s so unnatural.”

Luke made it as far as the squishy, ratty old armchair beside the stairs before collapsing into it, his vision swimming as he was half blinded by pain.

“Right, guess I’m sleeping here then. Night, kid.”

Within five minutes he was unconscious.

 

*

 

When Sam finally came to, he was in a strange, shabby living room that he’d never seen before. He tried to stand up before a flash of pain went through him and he almost cried out, instantly relaxing back into the couch. Guess he was sitting here for a while.

He looked down at himself in distaste. There was dried blood on the collar of his torn-open dress shirt, which he guessed was from either his split lip or his nose. There were bruises all over his body, which hurt like fuck, and he couldn’t remember where… Oh, no, yeah he could.

It had been John.

Sam had arrived home from Stanford yesterday afternoon. He figured for a few weeks he could stay there with Bobby, his almost adopted uncle, just until Dean came home. No sooner had he arrived that he discovered his father, John, had reappeared from wherever he’d fucked off to two years ago, and he was completely, totally, smashed. There had been a yelling match, initiated by Sam, about how dare John abandon his sons and where even the hell did he go? The drunken asshole then went on beat the living shit out of Sam for ditching ‘the family business’, which was a shitty garage on the south side, and for going to California to study law instead of staying with his family, which was rich coming from Mr. Father of the Year.

Sam remembered running out of the house, a bottle smashing on the wall beside his head as he ducked out of the door. He remembered the pain he felt as he wandered around the hood at night, and the fear, because it wasn’t exactly safe to be walking around this area after midnight, and then he must’ve blacked out or something because he remembered nothing else. Nothing about how he’d gotten into this random house, for example.

Well, screw John, Sam thought bitterly. He’d book a hotel or something and wait for Dean there.

His brother had enlisted when he was only sixteen, straight after he dropped out of high school against Sam’s better judgment, so Sam had plenty of time to prepare for the day when he was deployed out to the Middle East. The preparation hadn’t done him much good though, because when Dean told him where he was being sent Sam had all but lost his shit. After all, his older brother was basically all he had, and if anything were to happen to him…

He was coming home soon, though, less than a month in fact, and so Sam had come back to meet Dean once he got off the plane. He hadn’t seen his older brother in over a year, after all.

Shaking off all the thoughts about Dean that kept popping into his head, Sam took the time to examine where he was. He could hear voices, a lot of voices, but none of them seemed to be directed at him. In fact, they all seemed kinda far away, like they were in another part of the house altogether.

And, wow, this house was in even worse shape than John's had been, and that had been totally empty for what Sam assumed was almost six months.

There was a shitty TV in the corner of the room he was in with a crack down the left side of the screen. The curtains were colorful but faded, and there was a half-empty can of beer with a cigarette in it sitting on the table beside a porn magazine and the TV remote, which was held together by duct tape.

The couch he was sitting on was moth-eaten and gross, but seriously comfortable so he didn’t care. He craned his neck to look behind him. He could see a blond guy, probably in his early twenties, fast asleep in an equally gross armchair, looking half beaten to hell. Sam raised an eyebrow. Where the hell was he?

“Sam?”

Sam quickly spun around, wincing as the fast movement caused his chest to hurt from the bruises, which were a kind of dark purple colour. He looked up at the voice who’d somehow known his name. “…Cas? It's Cas, right?" 

Castiel had been one of Dean’s best friends from high school, Sam remembered. The two had been practically inseparable. Cas was a few years behind Dean in school- in fact, if Sam was 18 now, then Cas couldn’t have been older than 19.

Cas smiled, taking a step closer. “I knew I recognized you. How are you feeling?”

Sam blinked in confusion. “Where am I? How did I get here?”

“Last night you were unconscious in one of our neighbors’ yards. I brought you back here to rest up; you were in pretty bad shape.”

“My savior,” Sam chuckled. He scratched the back of his neck as he sat up properly, wincing. “Is this your house?”

Cas nodded, glancing around in slight distaste. “Sorry about the mess…”

Sam shook his head. “No, it doesn’t matter. I really appreciate you letting me crash here.”

He was actually surprised that Cas even remembered him. He can’t have met the guy more than a few times when he had been hanging around Dean; the pair often kept to themselves." 

Cas’ slight smile returned. “It was no problem. My brother gets into a lot of pretty similar situations, so it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the guy he knew was still knocked out behind him. “Your brother?”

“That’s him. His name’s Luke. He was with me last night when we found you.” Cas sat down on the uneven wooden coffee table, shoving the porn magazine to the side to make room for him. “Can I ask how you got to be in this shape, Sam?”

Sam sighed. He wasn’t really sure he wanted to open up his heart and soul to this guy, but they kind of new each other and he’d really helped Sam out last night apparently so he felt he owed him at least half of the truth.

“John,” he sighed. “My dad. Showed up last night and didn’t like that I’d gone to college.”

Castiel’s eyebrows flew up. “Your dad did this to you?”

Sam nodded. 

“Welcome, brethren, to the house of shitty fathers,” came a younger male voice from the doorway.

Sam looked to his left to see a teenaged boy with freakishly golden eyes, maybe fourteen or fifteen, leaning against the doorframe with a piece of toast in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other.

“Sam Winchester, this is my brother, Gabriel Milton.”

Sam didn’t know Cas had any brothers, let alone two.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam said with a slightly forced smile. He turned back to Cas. “So, um, when do you want me out of your hair? I might just need a few hours to book a hotel, if you don’t mind, but then I can be gone by this afternoon?”

Cas vehemently shook his head.

“No, Sam, honestly. Stay here. We have some experience in the area of bad fathers who want to fuck you over.”

Castiel swearing surprised Sam slightly. Almost as surprising as his offer to let Sam stay with them.

“Oh, no, I really couldn’t-“

“You obviously can’t go home, not with your father doing stuff like this to you, and no offence but I know you’re not exactly loaded. Don’t waste money on a hotel room, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

“Are you serious?”

“Completely serious. You’ll have to stay on the couch, of course, but as long as you don’t mind-“ 

“I don’t,” Sam assured him gratefully. “I really appreciate this, Cas. Thank you. I was only planning on sticking around until Dean got back anyways.” 

Sam thought he saw a little light flicker in Castiel’s eyes at the mention of his brother. “Dean’s coming home?”

“Yeah, in just under a month, actually.”

Cas’ smiled came more easily now. “That’s… That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “It is.”

“Anyways. You can stay with us until then. Nobody will mind.”

“There are some rules though, pisshead, if you’re gonna stay here,” came Gabriel’s voice from the doorway. Sam had almost forgotten he was there. “You’ll have to contribute to the rent and shit.”

“That’s true actually,” Cas acknowledged, glancing over at Sam and apparently ignoring Gabriel’s language. “Sorry, but we’ve got our hands full of bills as it is and it would be helpful to have an extra hand with it all.” 

Sam understood. They weren’t in the richest part of town. “No worries, I can do that. I’ll find a job somewhere.” 

“As soon as you’ve healed up a bit, though,” Castiel added, giving him a once-over. “Nobody will hire you looking like that.”

The golden-eyed kid, Gabriel, grinned heartily back. “You were so fucked this morning, Moose. You looked dead. Alfie thought you were dead and nearly started crying, and he doesn’t even KNOW you that’s how bad it was. There was all this blood and shit-“

“Get ready for school, Gabriel,” Cas sighed resignedly, and the teenager flashed a confused Sam one last bright grin before disappearing into the room where the voices were floating in. 

“Sorry about him,” Castiel apologized. “He can be a bit… You know.” 

“Alfie?” Sam questioned curiously. “Another brother?” 

Cas nodded. “Yeah. He’s only nine.”

“I didn’t know you had three brothers, Cas.”

“Three brothers and two sisters.”

“What, really? There are six of you?”

“Mhm.”

“Woah, big family. Your parents must be busy.”

“Oh, they don’t live here.”

Sam stopped, staring in slight confusion at Cas. “What?”

“My parents. They don’t live here. We never knew our mother and our dad left as soon as Luke turned twenty one.” 

Sam felt his jaw drop open. “Are you serious?”

“Yep.” 

Okay, so no wonder they needed him to pull his weight around with the rent. Sam suddenly felt guilty about putting them through all this trouble. 

He didn’t have the chance to properly respond, because there was a sudden, loud crash from behind him that made him jump straight out of his seat on the couch, pain completely forgotten in the moment. 

The guy who had been asleep in the chair was now on his feet, and the chair was on its side. His blond hair was askew, and he had sharp, pale blue eyes, which were staring wildly at Cas. He was clutching at the right side of his chest and he looked to be in a lot of pain, but by his expression Sam guessed there were more important things on his mind.

"Gas bill," he said in a rushed voice. "What time is it?"

“Luke, you need to sit down, they won’t have healed that fast,” Cas said sharply, quickly maneuvering around Sam to try and force his brother into a chair.

“What time is it?” The guy called Luke demanded, shoving Cas away and stumbling towards the door Gabriel had disappeared behind. He half collapsed onto a standing lamp, doubling over and breathing heavily in pain.

Sam just stood there, watching dumbly the scene taking place before him. Luke apparently hadn’t even noticed Sam was even there.

“CAS!” Luke shouted. “TIME!”

“Jesus Christ, Luke, it’s 8:50! They don’t have to be at the bus stop for another twenty minutes, they can make it! Sit down for god’s-“

“Shit,” the angry blond swore loudly, knocking the lamp over as he half stumbled, half ran into the other room. “ANNA! WHERE’S THE PHONE?!”

Cas and Sam exchanged worried looks. Cas hurried into the other room after his brother, and Sam, letting curiosity win out, followed slightly slower.

The room the voices had been coming from, it turns out, was the kitchen. Luke was searching through one of the drawers, evidently looking for something.

At the table were five other people, which was weird because Sam was sure Cas had said he had five siblings in total. There was a teenaged girl with brown hair, who looked to be only a few years younger than Sam; there was the kid Gabriel, a redhead girl, a younger boy who Sam guessed was Alfie, and then a toddler in a high chair, giggling as she watched the blonde maniac scramble for whatever it was he needed out of the cabinet.

None of them even looked phased.

The redheaded girl threw a crappy old mobile phone in Luke’s general direction, and to Sam’s surprise he actually caught the thing. He then snatched up what looked like a shoebox out of the cabinet, and Sam noticed there was a bit of cash and some coins rustling around at the bottom.

“Gas, Naomi,” Luke said in a rushed tone to the teenaged girl as she pulled a wad of cash out of her pocket and dropped it into the box. She passed it to Gabriel, who was seated next to her.

“Gas,” she told him, and he quickly complied, dropping some money into the box.

Cas was leaning against the counter with a piece of bacon, watching Luke worriedly. “You’re not going to the bills office looking like that, are you?”

Luke shrugged, then winced. “They’ve seen me look worse; hurry up guys, I have to pay this in ten minutes or they cut us off again.”

The little boy Sam assumed was Alfie was counting up the bills in the box, looking focused.

“How much is there?” Luke asked, and Sam could have sworn he seemed almost nervous.

“$548,” Alfie shouted victoriously, and there was a collective sigh of relief from everyone at the table.

“Thank god,” Luke sighed, snatching the cash out of the kid’s hand and shoving it into his back pocket.

He grabbed a leather jacket off the counter, still holding the phone the girl had thrown at him. “I have to go pay this, I’ll see you all after school.” He went around the table then, giving the girls both kisses on the cheek and the boys a clap on the shoulder. “Anna, have you brushed your teeth?" 

“Yeah…”

“Liar. Go do it, now. Gabriel, did you manage to help Alfie with that fucking science thing last night or did Naomi do it?”

“Naomi, but-“

“Thanks, Naomi.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t hard. How was work?”

“You can’t tell by the fucking state of him?”

“Shut the fuck up, Gabriel. Cas, could you go make sure Anna’s brushing her teeth?”

Cas silently left the room.

Luke stopped when he reached the baby, gently brushing her hair out of her face. “I’ll be home soon,” he sighed, kissing her forehead, before rushing out the back door. 

“Don’t forget your lunches!” He shouted behind him as the door slammed shut.

Sam let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. All in all, it had been a vicariously stressful five minutes.

Cas had immediately got to work on making sandwiches, and Sam hadn’t even realized he’d come back. There were four pairs of white bread laid out on the counter, each with one slice of cheese on it.

“Sorry guys, this is all we’ve got,” he announced as he put each ‘sandwich’ in a brown paper bag, throwing a box of cigarettes each in two of them and a juice pouch in the other two. “You’ll have to beg food money off the teachers again. Gabe, if you can get enough for all of them it would be appreciated.”

“I’ll see what I can do, Cassie,” Gabriel nodded, stretching as he got to his feet.

The others all jumped up as well, and shabby backpacks were pulled out of nowhere. They all grabbed a paper bag; Alfie and the redhead taking the juice pouches, and Gabriel and the other girl, Naomi, snatching the ones with cigarettes.

“Sell those for no less than $5,” Cas ordered, which led Naomi to roll her eyes.

“We know, Cas, We know.”

“Alright, time for school, everybody needs to be out the door in twenty seconds or you’ll miss the only free bus on the block, and Luke’s probably just taken Benny’s car.”

There was a collective groan. 

“The bus is there already!” Someone shouted, and suddenly Sam was surrounded by a small army of kids pushing each other out of the way to get out the door first. Sam could see them out of the window; two on skateboards, one on a scooter, and the older girl on a bicycle. 

Within seconds they were all out of sight. 

“Jesus,” was all Sam could say. “Is it like that every morning?” 

“No,” Cas sighed as he leaned against the counter. “Normally Luke makes the lunches. He overslept. But it wasn’t like he didn’t have a valid excuse; he works nights at a club and sometimes it goes a bit wrong. He’s usually better than that, though. You just caught him on a bad day. He’ll be embarrassed about that for a while.”

“So you guys are the ones in charge, huh?”

“He is, mostly. He’s the only one of us that’s at a legal age to do anything; I’m still only nineteen. We all pitch in money-wise, except for Alfie and Ruby who are obviously still too young-” Cas gestured at the toddler, smiling happily at them from the highchair, “-to do a whole lot, but Luke makes the most money, pays the bills, gets Gabriel out of being arrested, goes to the parent-teacher meetings… He practically raised everyone anyway, Chuck was never around a whole lot.”

“Chuck?”

“Our father. The one who disappeared four years ago. We call him by his first name because it dehumanizes him.”

When Sam raised an eyebrow, Castiel clarified, “It was Anna’s idea.” 

“Jesus,” Sam said again.

Suddenly his life didn’t look so bad.

  


	2. Breaking Routine

Sam had been staying with the Miltons for almost five days.

He’d had to make a few risky trips back to John’s house while he was out and grab some of his stuff, but luckily he hadn’t yet had the misfortune to run into his father.

In five days he'd become pretty familiar with everyone living in the house.

Luke was rarely ever home, and when he was, he was either exhausted or busy. Cas was home more often, but was generally stressed about something, and if he was it was because he hadn't slept in two days and was running purely off caffeine and stubbornness. Naomi was a really sweet kid, but she talked a lot. Gabriel seemed to get into trouble with the police almost every day but it was usually for small stuff, like littering or drinking in public, which was very much illegal but the cops around here seemed pretty used to it. Anna was the sweetheart of the family; she was always offering to help out. Alfie was a silent genius- he didn't talk much, but when he did it was not something to be ignored. And Ruby, the baby, was actually really well-behaved; she rarely ever cried, and as Sam was almost always at the house with her he grew to appreciate that.

Five days was also long enough to recognize the routine the strange family he was staying with followed from during school time. 

At 8:00am every morning, Luke would go from bedroom door to bedroom door with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, waking everyone up. If Luke was unconscious, either from being beaten half to death at the club or just from pure exhaustion, Cas took his place. Either way, the rest of the family was woken up at 8 on the dot.

There was only one shower, so everybody had to take turns. Luke and Cas always took theirs before the others were awake. Naomi’s turn was at 8:05; Gabriel’s was 8:15, although he usually skipped it. Anna sometimes went in Gabriel’s place, but when she didn’t her turn was at 8:25. Alfie’s turn was at 8:35 but, like Gabriel, he preferred to shower in the evening, and usually just cheated by running his head under the tap. Sam knew Luke noticed by the slight smirk on his face each morning, but chose to let it slide.

By the time everyone was dressed and showered, Luke had already made breakfast. Sometimes it was toast, sometimes cereal, but more often than not it was a leftover pizza or lasagna or something, anything that could be found in the fridge. If it was a Bill Day they’d pass around the shoebox and fill it with any money they’d made, or often stolen. 

Gabriel was always eating a lollipop or some other candy at this point, and Luke had given up on telling him that it would rot his teeth because hell, it was better than smoking.

Cas told Sam that Luke had tried to get everyone on a health kick a few months back, but that it had backfired so badly that he’d given up within a week.

After breakfast it was always someone’s turn to take out the trash, someone else’s turn to feed Ruby, the toddler, and another person, usually Cas, to make sure that everyone’s backpacks were beside the counter where Luke put the lunches.

At 9:00 on the dot everyone had to be out of the house, because it was a good ten blocks to the bus stop and the bus came at 9:07 every morning. There was a bus stop opposite their front porch, but the driver never let the kids on for free, so the extra bike journey or skateboard was always worth it. 

Once the four kids were out of the house, Luke would go upstairs and collapse into bed for another three hours. He’d hang a sign on his door that said in messy, scrawled black pen, “I’m sleeping, if nobody’s dying and nothing’s on fire then fuck off.”

Cas would take Ruby into the living room and put her in front of the TV for a few hours while he cleared the house up.

Then at 12:30 Luke would come downstairs and take Ruby with him to his day job, where apparently he worked in a café on the east side. 

Cas was gone by 3:00, when he had to go to his own job, which was coaching the little league baseball team at the local elementary school. 

Alfie was back by 3:45, and he’d sit at the kitchen table and do his homework in total silence unless asked a direct question.

Gabriel and Anna returned around 4:30, often with groceries and random bits and pieces.

Cas and Luke both came home at 5:00 because they took the same bus. Cas would take Ruby upstairs while Luke made dinner. Sometimes he’d arrive home with some food he nicked from the café while nobody was looking, but most of the time he’d cook spaghetti or something simple. There was often no tomato sauce.

Naomi got back around 7:00, because she’d hang around with her boyfriend Zeke and his friends after school. Sam learned that Cas and Luke both thought the guy was a bad influence on her, but she always ignored them when they told her so.

At 7:15 Luke would go outside and sit on the porch and chain-smoke for fifteen minutes until he felt sick. He’d then come back in and grab a random jacket off the hook by the door- sometimes Castiel’s, sometimes Sam’s, and sometimes his own- before he had to go to work at 7:30, where he worked as a security guard at a club in the city.

He was rarely ever home before 4:00 in the morning. Sam, as he was sleeping on the couch in the front room, was always woken up whenever he stumbled through the door. He’d often be bruised, battered and exhausted, and would collapse into bed until his alarm went off at 7:00am the next day. 

If he slept through it, which to Sam’s knowledge wasn’t a regular occurance, Cas took over. 

Obviously there were always some slight deviations. Sometimes Anna would go over to a friend’s house after school, or Cas would miss his bus, or Luke would have to pick up an extra shift at the café because they spent too much money on groceries that week. But often it stayed the same, rarely ever varying.

That was why the sudden arrival of the summer holidays threw Sam off-course a little bit. 

It was 10:00 on Saturday morning. The kids were off for almost two months now, which meant Luke would make them all get summer jobs so they could make enough money to last them the winter. Or at least, that was what Cas had told Sam.

Gabriel was sleeping at a friend’s. Cas had taken Alfie and Anna to the park half an hour earlier so they could watch the baseball game he was supposed to coach, and Naomi hadn’t come home last night. Nobody seemed to be all that worried. Castiel had assumed she was with Zeke, and to everyone else that had seemed like a fair enough reaction. The girl was almost seventeen, after all.

 Sam was sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper and a piece of toast, reading through the ‘employee wanted’ section of the paper, and every now and then looking up at Ruby, finger-painting in the high chair and grinning.

She was a really sweet kid, Sam had decided. She rarely ever cried, or spoke for that matter, but when she did it was really adorable. Sam didn’t even like babies all that much, but this one was really cute.

“Am,” she said happily, which Sam had taken to understand was her attempt at saying his name. 

“Ruby,” he said teasingly back, watching as the toddler’s eyes sparkled happily. She didn’t look like the rest of the family, he mused absently as he watched her go back to her paints. She had a much rounder face, and her eyes were almost the exact same shade of pale blue as Luke’s. Well, Sam guessed she did kind of look like Luke, if anyone in the family. 

Sam would be lying if he said he didn’t have a strong sense of admiration for Luke Milton. The guy was pulled in ten different directions at once and managed to make it work. It was really pretty impressive.

He hadn’t actually had a proper conversation with the guy, now Sam thought about it. They’d exchanged a few words, but nothing significant. The guy always seemed too busy to talk.

Sam had just turned back to his newspaper after taking a bite of toast when the back door was thrown open and Luke strolled in, his hair a mess, his shirt torn open and a half-gone cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Mornin’,” he said almost cheerfully, snatching the paper from out of Sam’s grip and absently running his hand through his hair. “You got a job yet, kiddo?”

Sam frowned at the newspaper, now in Luke’s hands. “I was in the process of looking for one,” he said pointedly.

“Well I hear old Billy down at the grocery store on 6th is looking to hire, if you’re interested.” He threw himself down in the chair opposite Sam’s, letting out a deep sigh and blowing a long stream of smoke into Sam’s face.

“I’ll get right on that,” Sam agreed, making a mental note of the name and location. “Did you just get in?” 

Luke raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. “Did you just _see_ me get in?”

“Well, yeah, but-“ 

“Then I just did, didn’t I.” The blond went back to reading the paper.

Sam sighed, rolling his eyes slightly at the arrogance. “Were you at work?” 

“Friday night at a club, Sammy boy. Everybody wants in.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a huge wad of $20 bills.

Sam’s jaw practically hit the floor. “How much is there?!”

“Almost two hundred.”

“Holy shit…”

Luke gave Sam a lopsided grin. “I know.” 

“How did you get this all in one night?”

“Like I said. Friday nights, everyone’s dying to get in.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Sam raised his own. “You took bribes?” 

“Of course I did, how else am I supposed to make money? Those asshats pay me jack.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

Luke dropped his cigarette butt into a half-empty cup of cold coffee to his left, before turning to Ruby with a soft, almost father-like smile. “Hey baby…” 

He lifted her carefully out of the high chair and placed her on his lap, where she giggled and reached up to tug at his hair. “Daddy,” she said happily, wrapping her chubby arms around his neck.

Luke grinned, noticing Sam staring and giving him a wink. “Yeah baby, I’m home.”

“She calls you Daddy,” Sam smiled, and he couldn’t help but think that was kind of cute. 

“Of course she does, why wouldn’t she?” Luke jogged the toddler up and down on his knee, watching her with a soft, relaxed expression that Sam wasn’t sure he’d seen on the blond’s face before. 

“Isn’t she your sister?” Sam asked in slight confusion.

Luke shook his head. “Oh, no, she isn’t. Ruby’s my daughter.”

Sam blinked in surprise. “Oh.”

“Mm.”

There was a silence, filled only by the sounds of Ruby giggling as Luke tickled her stomach.

“I didn’t know you had a kid.”

“Mm,” Luke said again, raising his eyes to Sam’s.

“How come you have her? That’s kind of unusual, isn’t it? Doesn’t the mother normally keep the child?”

Luke shrugged slightly, and Sam though he saw him barely mask a wince. He must still have been in pain from the other night. “Her mother and I didn’t part on the best of terms. She wanted to get back at me for humiliating her, so she left me with Ruby.” Luke crinkled his nose slightly. “Wasn’t much of a punishment, to be honest.” 

“What happened between you and the mother, then?” Sam asked curiously. 

Luke chuckled. “Story for another time I’m afraid, kiddo.” He got to his feet, lifting Ruby on to his hips. “Can you keep an eye on the cash for me? I’ve got to run upstairs and make a call before it gets to 11:00.”

Sam nodded, reaching for the paper again. “Sure-“

Luke’s hand was suddenly on his arm, and he found himself looking up into the piercingly sharp blue eyes. “And Sam, get a job.”

Sam swallowed thickly, nodding. “Yeah, I will…”

Luke disappeared up the stairs.

Sam realized that was the first time he’d actually had a conversation with the patriarch of the Milton household. He seemed alright. A little creepy towards the end there, but other than that he seemed pretty cool.

Sam wondered why their father had left.

The front door was the one that burst open this time. Naomi flew in, slamming the door shut behind her and collapsing against it. Her eyes were red and tearstained, and she looked as though she’d been running.

“Naomi!” Came a loud voice on the other side of the door. “Let me in, please! I’m sorry! I’m SORRY! Just let me explain, let me talk-“ 

Sam got to his feet, and went over to the door, beckoning for Naomi to get out of the way. She complied easily enough, brushing the tears off her cheeks and slinking over to the couch, where she collapsed and curled into a ball. 

Sam pushed open the door. On the other side was a boy, blond hair, who Sam guessed was-

“You Zeke?”

The kid nodded, frowning. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Sam. Fuck off.”

This was where Sam’s height was an advantage. No 16-year-old in his right mind was going to take on a 6’4” 18-year-old dude who was chilling in their girlfriend’s house. It was just not worth it.

Zeke slowly backed up, raising his hands. “Tell Naomi I want to talk to-“

Sam glared at him, taking a step closer. “What I meant was, get the fuck off the porch.”

Zeke visibly swallowed before he turned tail and left.

Sam sighed, closing the door and going over to the couch where he could hear the quiet sounds of somebody who doesn’t want anyone to know they’re crying. “He’s gone,” he told her, sitting at the opposite end of the couch. “I don’t think he’ll be back any time soon." 

Naomi sat up, drying her eyes on her sleeve. “Thanks…”

Sam chewed on his lip. She was only two years younger than him, so he shouldn’t really be feeling like such an adult here. “You okay?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Wanna talk about it?” 

She eyed him carefully. “If I do, will you tell Luke or Cas what happened?”

Sam shrugged. “I’m not their spy.”

Naomi narrowed her eyes. “So you won’t tell? Because they’ll get all big-brother-y and they’ll judge me with those judging eyes and they’ll say ‘Oh, Naomi, we told you this was going to happen,’ and I don’t wanna deal with that shit.”

Sam offered her a small smile. “I won’t tell. Promise.” 

And so Naomi had launched into a story about how Zeke had cheated on her with Jackson’s girlfriend Zoey who was best friends with her friend Hannah, and how they’d been at Kate’s party last April… Eventually Sam turned out most of the names of people he didn’t know, and events he didn’t recognize. But all Naomi needed was just to tell someone, to get it off her chest, and Sam could do that. Sam could listen.

By the end of the story she wasn’t even sad anymore, she was just angry. “…And now I don’t know WHAT we’re going to do about the pot van, because that was supposed to be my summer job-“

“What? Pot van?” 

“Yeah, it’s what Zeke and I used to do together. It’s like a business. He stole this van from a butcher’s place a few years back and Luke and I helped him fix it up inside kinda like an icecream van, and we sell shit out of it in the park. Like beer, pot, cigarettes, candy, whatever, to anyone over fourteen. It gets really popular in the summer.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Luke _helped_ you? Luke _helped_ you sell pot?”

“Oh sure, he was completely on board. He hated Zeke, but we needed the money last year because he wasn’t selling enough on his own.” 

“ _Luke_ sells pot?”

“Not anymore, not since Ruby was dumped on him. Sorry, that makes it sound like a bad thing; he loves that girl but she really does put a drain on everything, you know?”

Christ, she was chatty. Nice enough, but chatty. But as long as she wasn’t crying, Sam was cool with it. He nodded, like he understood. 

Naomi smiled at him. “Thanks, Sam. Nobody ever really does that around here.”

“Does what?”

“Listens.” Naomi reached across the couch and hugged him, catching Sam by surprise. 

He hugged her back all the same, a strand of her brown hair poking him in the eye as he did so.

“Well, that’s what I’m here for, I guess.”

Naomi laughed as she pulled back. “Guess so.” She twisted a strand of hair absently around her finger, watching Sam curiously. “So, you’re Dean Winchester’s brother, huh? I’ve never really had a chance to talk to you properly before. It gets hectic around here during school time.”

“You don’t say,” Sam chuckled. “And yeah, Dean’s my older brother.” 

“He was really close to Cas, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Like, REALLY close.”

Sam eyed her curiously. “What are you implying?”

“Well, like I said, they were reaaally close. Like, too close to be friends. Luke for sure thought so.”

Sam nodded slowly. “You think they were gay?” The idea seemed kind of ridiculous to Sam. His brother was one of the toughest guys he’d ever met. Then again, tough guys could be gay. And now Sam was thinking of it, Dean could be very selectively touchy about some things…

“I don’t know about full-on homo, but there was definitely something going on there,” Naomi said seriously, but Sam could hear the slightly joking note in her tone. 

Sam laughed. “I dunno, maybe,” he half agreed. “We’ll see when Dean comes home, I guess.”

That was when Luke came down the stairs, the phone held between his shoulder and his ear, Ruby held against his side with one arm and an armful of laundry in the other.

“Come on, Lil, please,” he was saying into the phone. “It’s just a two week advance, it doesn’t even make a big difference to you.” 

Sam could faintly hear a female voice at the other end of the phone.

Luke passed the laundry in his arms to the now-standing Naomi, who accepted it with confusion, and then put Ruby in the laundry basket. He paused, frowning, before picking up Ruby again and passing her to Sam. 

Naomi rolled her eyes at him, putting the laundry in the basket.

“Thanks,” Luke mouthed, picking up the basket and moving into the kitchen.

Sam followed, partially out of curiosity, and partially because Ruby was making noises of discontent at being removed from Luke’s arms.

“Lil, it’s $15, can’t you just- I KNOW, but it’s not like it’s a lot of money! Not for you, anyway.” There was something like desperation in his voice now. Luke was facing the wall, one hand pressed against it and the other holding the phone to his ear. Sam could just see the back of his head.

“Lily, please. I need this. I have to pay up in five minutes or they’ll cut us off.  You still owe me a fiver from last time anyway.” 

There was another silence.

“Obviously not, but can’t you just transfer it to my account? Why the fuck not? I’ll say what I fucking want you inbred piece of shit, I’ll swear if I want to- No of course not, she’s in the other room. Not that you care, you left her here anyway. Lil, please just draft me the fifteen bucks, it’s all I need to pay the damn electricity bill… No, I’m short because I got beat up half to hell when I went to sort out Deckson’s money problem.”

What money problem? Luke turned around and saw Sam staring at him. He drew one hand across his neck in a slitting motion, and Sam got the message, quickly leaving the kitchen. 

The next thing he heard was Luke shouting down the phone. “Lil, LILY! FOR FUCK’S SAKE! You don’t pay CHILD SUPPORT; this is ALL I need from you, just fifteen bucks once a month and you don’t even- Hello? Lil? Oh hell no, LILITH! FUCK!”

Sam gently placed Ruby down on the sofa, exchanging a concerned glance with Naomi.

Luke stormed out of the kitchen, looking furious. He tugged open one of the drawers in the cabinet beside the stairs and pulled out- holy shit, that’s definitely a gun, and Sam’s never seen one up close before. 

Fortunately Naomi’s got faster reflexes than he does, and by the time Sam clocked in to what was happening she’d already tackled Luke to the ground and was wrestling the gun out of his grip. 

“Get OFF me!” Luke roars, trying to shove his sister out of the way. “She DESERVES to be shot, the evil BITCH!”

“You’ll go to prison again!” Naomi was yelling back, pulling at his hair. “Calm! The fuck! DOWN!”

“What’s going on?!”

Cas was back with Alfie and Anna, and the threesome was standing, confused, just inside the open front door.

“He wants to shoot Lilith again,” Naomi shouted back, still desperately trying to wrestle the gun out of Luke’s grip.

“Okay,” Luke yelled, going limp on the ground and raising his arms in surrender. “Okay, I’m calm. I’m calm.”

Naomi relaxed her grip on him slightly just at the same time Cas shouted “DON’T!” and before anyone else had time to do anything Luke was on his feet, gun still in his hands.

“She’s refusing to pay the fee again, Cassie,” Luke tried to explain in a rational tone, and there was a hint of barely controlled rage hidden beneath the calm exterior of his voice. “It’s literally $15, why can’t she pay the damn fee…”

“Because she’s a bitch,” Cas said calmly, taking a step towards his brother. 

Anna was standing next to Sam with her hands covering her mouth. She looked genuinely afraid. “He’s gonna have one of his thingies,” she whispered fearfully to Sam. Sam had no idea what she was talking about.

“What thingies?” He whispered back, putting a hand reassuringly on her shoulder. 

“One of his anxiety things…”

Luke was still clutching the gun, and Sam could see that his hands were trembling. He seemed to be on the verge of having some kind of breakdown; he had a crazy, wild look in his eyes that seemed to scream ‘I’ve lost all fucking control; Jesus take the goddamn wheel.’ His breathing had turned erratic, Sam could tell; the rise and fall of his chest was more uneven with every breath.

“If she doesn’t give me the money, the power will cut.”

“I know that, Luke. We know you’ll get the money somehow. It’ll be back on in a few days, we’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t have the money before. It's my fault. I fucked up the last job.”

Sam just watched on in shock. This conversation was basically a trainwreck, and Sam was now pretty sure that Luke had some kind of sinister secret job he didn’t tell anyone else about, because nobody looks that natural holding a gun if they haven’t held one before.

“It’s okay. Just give me the gun, Luke…”

“I could kill her.”

“I know.” 

“Nobody would know it was me.”

“I know that, but Luke, you don’t want to kill her." 

“Yeah I fucking do.”

“Think of Ruby.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing, Cas-“

They were suddenly plunged into darkness.

All the lights had gone out. The whir of the washing machine stopped instantly. The radio, which had been on quietly in the background, was silent.

Everything was still. 

And then, suddenly, Sam heard Castiel’s calm voice from across the room:

“Damn.”

 

*

 

“I’m so sorry,” Luke apologized for the fourteenth time that afternoon, taking the rest of the perishable meat out of the fridge and handing it to Naomi. “I’ll get the money somehow, I’ll pay the bill tomorrow.”

“Stop apologizing Luke, fucking hell,” Gabriel groaned as he removed the yoghurt from the top shelf and placed it carefully into the icebox. “It doesn’t matter, it could’ve happened to any of us.”

Luke groaned, and Sam could tell he was still feeling guilty. Sam took the pork out of Luke’s hands and placed the raw meat into the icebox with everything else.

After the electricity had turned off Luke had slumped against the wall, rubbing his face with one hand and apologizing profusely. It hadn’t really stopped.

Anna carefully wrapped her arms around Luke from behind. “It doesn’t matter,” she repeated. “Lily’s a bitch, but thanks for not shooting her. We didn’t like it when you went to prison last time.”

Alfie approached Sam quietly, holding out a jar of opened pesto sauce from the fridge.

“Thanks,” Sam said as he accepted it with a smile, putting it in the box. “Just how many times have you BEEN to prison, Luke?”

“Three,” Cas put in from the kitchen table, where he was counting coins. “Three times. And I’ve got $3.23 here.”

“I can’t do that math; Naomi, how much do we still need? And that’s not true; I’ve only been to actual prison once. The other two times were juvie.” 

“You’re still an ex-con,” Naomi smirked, putting her pencil behind her hair as she typed the numbers into a calculator. “And including the money Gabriel stole from his teacher last week, we still need a grand total of $12.76.”

“How hard can that be to find, right?” Gabriel questioned, although Sam got the feeling it was meant to be rhetorical.

“Pretty damn hard,” Cas sighed, obviously not grasping the purpose of rhetorical questions. He ran his hands through his hair. “Anna, could you go check on Ruby please?”

The redhead trotted obediently up the stairs.

“So what did you go to prison for? Or juvie, whatever,” Sam questioned curiously as he lifted up the icebox. “This is full, by the way, I’m putting it under the stairs where it’s coolest.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Luke agreed as he brushed one hand backwards through his hair. “And I went to juvie twice for shoplifting, and I went to prison because I couldn’t bear to see my wonderful, understanding girlfriend leave me.” 

“He means he punched her in the face. Twice,” Gabriel smirked. “Got done for domestic abuse. Got out early on good behavior, somehow.” 

Sam whistled. “No holding back, then,” he chuckled. “Not even for a girl, Luke? Who hits girls?!”

“People who believe in equal fucking rights, that’s who. I’d punch a dude in the face for saying the shit she said to me, so why shouldn’t I punch her?”

“Why should you punch _anybody_ in the first place is the real question.” 

“Punching’s not okay,” Alfie agreed in a soft voice, watching the group huddled around the fridge from his seat at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, and you guys would all _thrive_ in a prison.”

Sam placed the icebox full of meat and yoghurt on the floor by the stairs. “So are you ALL criminals, or just Luke and Naomi?”

“Why am I a criminal?!” 

“Uh, because you sell pot to 14-year-olds out of a van?”

“I’m simply catering to the unattended needs of the minority,” Naomi said primly. “Kids are gonna smoke weed anyways, might as well sell them the safe shit.”

“Of course,” Sam said with a hint of amused sarcasm. “I mean, why not? Obviously.”

Cas looked indignant. “We’re not all criminals,” he said firmly. “As it happens, I hold down an _actual_ job, and don’t just take bribes, sell pot and steal groceries.”

“It was your idea to trick the milkman into leaving his van so we could take the milk last winter,” Alfie piped up in accusation.

Everyone laughed, and Cas’ cheeks turned scarlet. “That was a very special situation,” he argued over the laughter, “When Luke was gone for a week and we had no money-“

“Where was he gone?” Sam felt like he was asking a lot of questions, but he decided he wasn’t going to stop himself.

“Good damn question, Luke, where were you?!”

“I’ll never tell. But it’s nice to know that everything fell apart without me.” Luke shot Sam a wink. 

Sam grinned at him.

He was beginning to like their little dysfunctional family. The dynamic was unlike anything Sam had ever felt before, and even without the presence of a parent it felt more like home than anything Sam had experienced.

“All this beer’s gonna go warm,” Naomi complained as she lifted a six-pack out of the fridge.

“Drink it then,” said Luke with a shrug, snatching a can out of her hand. “Pass one to Cas, would you?”

She threw one at Cas, who extraordinarily caught it. Sam supposed reflexes were somewhat of a must-have in this family.

Gabriel reached out to grab one, but Luke smacked his arm away with a laugh. “Hell no little man, not for a few more years yet. Cassie shouldn’t even be drinking. Actually, technically I’m the only one who SHOULD be drinking. Screw you all.” He pried his open. 

Sam laughed, reaching for one himself. “Ah ah ah,” Luke smirked, grabbing his hand. “How old are you again?”

“Eighteen,” Sam laughed, pulling his arm back. “Old enough.”

“I’m afraid not, kiddo. Not yet.” 

Sam only realized he was joking after he handed Gabriel a beer and told Naomi to open one for herself. Seeing as how Gabriel was fourteen, Sam then figured it was alright if he had one too.

It was a while before they finally managed to completely empty the fridge and put everything into iceboxes, but Sam didn’t mind. It was still a good day. He enjoyed spending time with the Miltons; they were all really nice people who he genuinely enjoyed spending time with. 

Dusk was just beginning to fall when Sam stepped outside onto the porch and sat on the steps, breathing in the hot, muggy smell of summer in the city. He could hear voices and laughter from inside, and he smiled to himself as he watched the sun slowly sink below the horizon.

“Pretty, isn’t it? For a shitty part of town, anyway.”

Luke sat down beside him with a deep sigh, a lit cigarette between his teeth. He offered the packet out to Sam.

“Oh, no thanks. I don’t smoke.”

“Not that I’m promoting lung cancer,” Luke started with a lopsided grin as he tried to keep the thing in his mouth, “But have you ever actually _tried_ one?”

Sam chuckled. “Well, no, but-“

“Here.” Luke plucked his out of his mouth, handing it to Sam. “Breathe in deeply, then just breathe out. Literally just breathe, it’s that easy. And if you don’t like it then I won’t make you do it again. Promise.” 

"Don't they take, like, two minutes off your life per cigarette?"

Luke shrugged. "Will two minutes really make a difference? And besides, you won't even be smoking the whole thing. One inhale will take, like, two _seconds_ off your life, so who really gives a shit?"

“My dad always told me never to give in to peer pressure,” Sam teased as he accepted the cigarette and held it curiously in his fingers for a moment. What was he doing?

Luke snorted. “Yeah? Well my dad told me once that jello and applesauce was an acceptable dinner.”

Sam crinkled his nose. “I take it it wasn’t, then.”

“Not even close. I don’t even know what food groups they belong to, but it’s none of the important ones.” 

Sam laughed. “You can be such a white suburban dad sometimes, seriously.”

Luke grinned at him. “Shut the fuck up. I’m mature for my age. Now are you gonna try smoking or am I gonna have to stick something else in your mouth to make you shut up?”

Sam’s cheeks flushed at the possible innuendo, and he raised the cigarette to his lips. He inhaled like Luke said, and then tried to exhale, but it just came out as a deep cough, causing him to double over.

Luke was laughing, Sam could hear it over the sound of his repeated and kind of painful coughing. “You knew that would happen,” he croaked, trying to sound indignant without much success.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Luke grinned happily, snatching the damned thing out of Sam’s grip and placing it back between his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The pair sat in comfortable silence for a while, feeling no need to speak. That is, until Sam’s curiosity won out. 

“So, this Lily, Lil, whatever… She’s Ruby’s mom?” 

Luke sighed, and he ran a hand backwards through his blond hair. Sam was starting to notice that he did that a lot. “Lilith. Yeah, she is. Fuck lot of use she is, too.”

Sam felt a twinge of sympathy for this guy, who had to raise six kids by himself and wasn’t even thirty. Not to mention only one of the kids was actually his. “I’m sorry, man.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “What are you sorry for?”

“Just… I dunno. I just am.”

Luke smirked. “Well don’t be. I’ve got a great family, a… Well, the house is still standing, at least, and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a friend or two somewhere. My life ain’t so bad.”

It wasn’t exactly great either though, Sam thought.

“Does Lilith not pay child support?”

“Lil doesn’t do what she doesn’t have to.” Sam might have been wrong, but he thought he detected a note of pride in Luke’s voice. “She knows she doesn’t have to pay the child support, and so she doesn’t. I managed to convince her to give me fifteen bucks a month, just to help us get by, but she rarely ever gives me that.”

“Why doesn’t she have to pay child support? Isn’t that one of those law things?”

“Eloquently said, Sam.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not even a year into law school yet.”

“Law school, really? Where?”

“Stanford, and stop avoiding my question.” 

Luke laughed softly, but it came out kind of rough with his voice. “Lilith doesn’t have to pay because she knows I can’t make her. She’s clever like that.” 

Sam watched him quietly, waiting for an explanation.

Luke didn’t disappoint. He sighed, letting the burnt out cigarette fall from his lips and crushing it into the pavement with his boot. “Even if I had the money to hire a lawyer, and face it, I don’t have that kind of money, she knows that if any judge in his right mind found that I was the sole guardian of seven kids and that I didn’t make the minimum wage per year, they’d be taken away from me and put into the system. They’d all be split up. I can’t let that happen.”

“No,” Sam agreed quietly.

Nothing else was said for a few minutes, but it was Luke who this time broke the silence.

“So Naomi told you her and Zeke broke up, huh?”

Sam grinned. “She told me before she told you, Dr. Phil.”

Luke chuckled, and the sound was low in his throat. “Yeah, I know. As much as I’d like to I can’t really take the place of their father, brother, mother and their friend. I mean, I’m pretty fucking fantastic, but even that’s beyond me.”

Sam laughed, and found himself absently knocking his shoulder against Luke’s. “You do a good job, though. You take care of them. They’re grateful for it.”

“Why Sammy, you make me blush,” Luke laughed. “And come on, kid, you’re eighteen, stop acting like a damned adult.”

“I guess I’m just mature for my age,” he teased.

Luke grinned over at him, and there was an almost electric sparkle in his pale blue eyes. “Anyway kiddo, I gotta head out. No rest for the wicked, eh? I need to find someone to lend me $12.” He stood up, gave Sam a clap on the back and moved back into the house.

Sam heard the door close behind him.


	3. Runs in the Family

Turns out, Billy at the grocery store was a nice enough guy. He’d practically flung the job at Sam, so much so that all he’d had to do was show up and say, “Excuse me, I heard you had a job opening-“ And the job was his.

Not that it was a particularly hard job. All he had to do was restock the shelves and man the register sometimes when Billy needed to count stock, or grab lunch, or something along those lines. 

Doing something that wasn’t law, doing something that didn’t require much brain function, was actually kind of relaxing, and Sam found himself enjoying it. That, and he finally felt he was contributing to the Milton’s situation.

“I’ve got $30,” he announced as he walked into the kitchen the afternoon of his fourth day at work. “Where do I put it?”

It was Cas who smiled up at him over his coffee, hair all over the place like he’d just woken up. But Cas’ hair always looked like that, Sam had figured out. “In the shoebox in the third drawer from the bottom of the cabinet."

Sam grinned his thanks, pulling said drawer open and dropping the cash in the box. “Where’s everyone else?” 

“Some family’s having a barbecue down the street, they invited the kids. Which is great, actually, because Luke’s still not home and I don’t have enough food in the house to do lunch.”

“Didn't you want to go to the barbecue?”

Cas smiled somewhat wistfully, and Sam got the impression that he absolutely did want to go. “I guess not. Besides, someone has to take care of Ruby.”

Sam grinned, giving the toddler in the high chair a little wave. When Ruby giggled, so did he. “I can watch her if you want to get some rest, or go check on the others.”

Cas looked wide-eyed up at him, downing the rest of his coffee in one go. “Really?” 

“Of course, man, you look like something out of The Walking Dead, go take a fucking nap or something.”

“Thank you,” Cas gasped, practically leaping out of his chair and rushing up the stairs.

“Your uncle’s a silly one,” Sam told Ruby as he sat down next to her. “He’s too tired for his own good.”

Ruby giggled, reaching out for Sam’s hair. “Am!” 

Sam grinned. “That’s right! That’s almost right, anyway. It’s ‘Sam’, with an ‘S’.” 

The front door was suddenly flung open, and Anna stood there with her messily done red pigtails. Sam bet it was Luke that did them. 

“Gabriel’s been arrested,” she announced in a voice that seemed far too calm for a child who was announcing the incarceration of her older brother by the police. “He was caught shoplifting again.”

Sam groaned. “Is it serious?”

Anna nodded, hazel green eyes widening. “They’re saying he could go to juvie this time.” 

“Well, shit. CAS?”

 

*

 

There was nobody else home when Luke collapsed through the front door, completely exhausted, with somebody else’s blood down his shirt and his own in his hair.

“Anyone home? Hello? Cassie?”

Nothing. They were probably all at that damned barbecue thing the O’Bryan’s were hosting down the road. He knew they wouldn’t let him in, not after last time. 

He stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and not even attempting to cover his mouth.

He was hungry, he decided, so he turned to open the fridge. There was a piece of paper taped to it with something written in thick black marker. Luke squinted at it, blinking, and dammit why did he take his contacts out? 

He sighed, rummaging in one of the drawers for his glasses that he never wore because they made him look like a teenaged hipster, thick black frames and all. They’d been the only free ones.

Glasses definitely on, Luke lifted the paper closer to his face so he could read it. 

 

“ **LUKE:**

**GABE ARRESTED- SHOPLIFTING**

**BAD THIS TIME**

**AT THE STATION ON 5 TH**

**COME ASAP”**

 

“Shit,” Luke swore loudly, dropping the note to the floor. He grabbed his keys, the phone that was lying on the kitchen counter, and someone’s random jacket that was on the ground to cover the blood because he didn’t have time to change.

He realized there was still blood in his hair, and quickly dunked his head under the tap in the kitchen. 

In less than a minute he was out the door, had broken into the neighbor’s car again, and was driving at quite honestly a dangerous pace down the street, not that he cared, because his little brother might be going to juvie. 

When he arrived at the station he felt a little lightheaded. If Gabriel went to juvie then he’d be gone for probably 18 months, that was the service Luke had had, and there would be background checks on the family and they’d find out that there was no father, and then someone would probably end up suing Luke for negligence and all the kids would be taken away…

His heart was pounding in his chest as he turned the corner and saw the rest of the family, sans Gabriel, sitting on a bench in the reception.

He jogged over to them, and Anna ran to meet him and tackled him in a tight hug. “It’ll be okay,” she promised, looking up at him with almost the exact same eyes as their father. “Sam’s in there with him.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, confusion stopping his thoughts dead in their tracks. “Why is Sam in there?”

“He’s a law student,” Cas supplied from the bench, jogging Ruby up and down on one knee. “He’s being Gabe’s kind-of lawyer. Nice glasses, by the way.”

None of his family looked worried. Luke blinked. “Are we supposed to be calm about this? Gabriel got arrested for fuck’s sake, will anyone tell me WHY?!”

He got a glare from the receptionist as Naomi supplied, “Shoplifting. It said so on the note we left you, didn't you read it?” 

Luke shot her a sarcastic smile, taking his stupid glasses off and shoving them into his pocket. “Yeah, thanks, _details_ please?”

Cas sighed. “He was stealing more pork sausages for the barbecue. Caught on film. And as this is the third time…”

Luke waved a hand. “Yeah, yeah, I know the rest. So why aren’t we worried?” 

Cas shrugged slightly. “Sam’s got it covered.” 

“Does he?!” Luke was aware of how shrill his voice was getting now. He was beginning to feel like a mother. “Does he really?! Because he’s only eighteen, Cassie, and he’s not even a proper lawyer-“

“Just calm down,” Alfie sighed, and Jesus, the kid was really mature for a nine-year-old. He definitely didn’t get that from their dad. “It’ll be okay, Luke. He won’t go to juvie. Sam’s got this, there’s nothing you can do.”

Luke didn’t feel calm. But, for the sake of his siblings, he took a deep breath, sat down next to Cas, and tried to relax. He felt his hand twitching subconsciously at his side and tightened it into a fist.

He was able to stand the silence for a grand total of three minutes before he got to his feet again.

“I need a smoke,” he announced loudly, before storming out of the station and out into the parking lot.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Sam, he thought to himself as he lit the cigarette with trembling fingers; it was that he didn’t trust the system. They _tried_ to put people like Gabriel away, even over stupid things like stealing food, because it proved that they were good for something. If there was anything useful that their father had taught Luke, it would be to never trust the system, because the system was always out to get you.

In fact, Sam was probably a good enough lawyer. Hell, he was a nice kid, and he did enough to pull his weight around, and it was nice to come home to someone who wasn’t family, and who he didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay for. It even felt nice to explain his situation, because when he said it outloud he found that it cleared his head a little bit.

But no, this wasn’t about Sam the lost puppy that Castiel just had to bring home, this was about Gabriel. Gabriel, and the fact that soon, he’d be going to juvie and Luke would have his family taken away.

Dammit, if the boy didn’t go to juvie, Luke was sure he’d kill him himself for being so stupid. Why did he rob a store with CAMERAS?! Multiple times! For god’s sake, he was supposed to be Luke’s very own trained professional.

Luke was sure that he’d told the boy about those kinds of precautions. Although maybe he didn’t. If he didn’t, then that was a parenting failure on his part, surely. But he was pretty sure he did. 

Before he knew it the cigarette was burning so close to his hand that his fingers were starting to burn and he quickly dropped the thing on the ground, crushing it under his boot.

He turned on his heel and quickly entered the building, taking a few deep breaths. He needed to keep calm. Like Alfie had said, there was nothing he could do at this point. He just had to stay calm. 

He took his place on the bench next to Cas again, ignoring his brother’s concerned eyes. He could feel them on him and it was making him even more uncomfortable than he already was. 

“Stop staring at me,” he eventually said through gritted teeth, shooting Cas a glare. “I’m fine.” 

“You don’t look fine,” Naomi said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You actually look kind of sick, and you’ve got blood in your hair-“

“I thought I washed that out,” Luke muttered, quickly rubbing his hands through his hair in some desperate attempt to brush it out, which was obviously impossible.

“Luke, I think you’re about to have an anxiety attack.”

“I’m fine,” Luke barked, his heart feeling like it was about to pound out of his chest.

“Just breathe,” Anna said quietly, looking up at him from where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Deep breaths, Luke. Do the counting thing. You can do it.”

As much as he didn’t want to, he decided to do what she suggested. It had always worked before. He closed his eyes slowly and took a few deep breaths, counting internally to ten.

 1.

 2.

 3.

The world seemed to move in slow motion around him as he counted, and he could almost feel each individual bead of sweat dripping down his brow.

 4.

 5.

He could feel his heart pumping so loudly and so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

 6.

 7.

He clenched his hands into fists, keeping his eyes closed.

 8.

His throat felt tight, and every breath felt like he was breathing water, leaving him dizzy and lightheaded- 

9.

10.

When he opened his eyes, everyone had stood up, and they were all crowding around two people about ten meters to his left. 

The world sped back up again.

Sam and Gabriel were walking down the corridor, both sporting grins that could only be described as shit-eating. The rest of the family was surrounding them, laughing and smiling, and that could only mean one thing:

Gabriel wasn’t going to fucking juvie.

“Thank god,” Luke sighed, collapsing back into the bench and rubbing his face with both hands. “Oh, thank god.” 

“You need to apologize,” came a stern voice that Luke recognized as Castiel’s. “He had one of those episode things. He’s been freaking out.” 

“Wasn’t freaking out,” Luke mumbled, lifting his hands off his eyes just in time to see Gabriel throw himself at him, practically sitting in his lap and squeezing him tightly.

“I’m so sorry Luke I know you said not to steal in anywhere where there was a camera but we were hungry and there was no food left and-“

“It’s fine,” Luke managed, hugging Gabriel back. “But I swear to fucking god, Gabe, if you EVER pull this shit again I will PERSONALLY cut you into pieces, do you understand me? You could’ve had everyone send off to a home or some shit, I could’ve gone to prison for child neglect and you would’ve been in fucking juvie-“

“That’s quite enough,” Cas interrupted, and Luke realized he was maybe being a little harsh. 

He sighed. “But anyway, you’re not going to prison and we’re fine.”

Gabriel pulled away, looking around him with a small light in his eyes. “Sam was great in there, by the way. He really helped me out. He’s really good in those under-pressure situations, you know? I’d be in juvie right now without him, he deserves a fucking cake.” 

Sam was smiling awkwardly at the ground, and Luke noticed that his cheeks had flushed slightly pink. “It was nothing,” he mumbled, as Gabriel grinned up at him. “Glad I could help.” 

Luke stood up almost automatically and pulled Sam into a tight hug. It was a little awkward, because the kid was a good two inches taller than him. “Thank you,” he sighed into the kid’s shoulder. “I owe you everything.” He felt Sam still underneath him at his words.

He pulled away, clapping Sam on the back. “Right, family,” he said happily, taking Ruby out of Castiel’s arms and placing her carefully on his shoulders. “Let’s go home.”

Holding Ruby on his shoulders with one arm, and holding Alfie’s hand with the other he traipsed out of the station and towards the car that Luke had ‘borrowed’ from Benny.

“There’s only five seats,” Luke pointed out as he shoved in kid by kid. He lifted Ruby off his shoulders and planted her on Naomi’s lap. “Can you hold her?”

“Sure.”

“Put the seatbelt around the both of you-“

“I know, Luke, Jesus…”

Luke gave her a sarcastic look before glancing up at Cas, who was hovering by the driver’s door. “You drive. I can walk, it’s not that far.”

“I’ll come with you,” Sam added from behind. “I don’t mind.”

Cas gave Luke a nod as he slid into the front seat. “Keys?”

Luke chucked them at him, and Cas caught them with one hand. “See you in a bit then.”

Luke nodded, giving a short wave as the engine roared to life and the badly parked car pulled out of its space on the street, leaving Sam and Luke alone.

“Luke, are you wearing my jacket?”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I just grabbed the first one I saw.” He quickly tugged it off and handed it to Sam, who just grinned lopsidedly down at him.

“No, it’s cool.”

 

*

 

“Do you think I’m unstable?” 

“Unstable?”

“Yeah.”

They were almost half way home by now. It had taken them about forty five minutes to get this far, but that’s including the time they spent grabbing a coffee in Sam’s case and a beer in Luke’s. His excuse had been, “It’s been a rough day,” when Sam had accused him of alcoholism. 

Sam shrugged, wondering why this question was suddenly at the forefront of his companion’s mind. “I don’t think you’re unstable, Luke.”

“No,” Luke agreed around the cigarette in his mouth, although it sounded a little half-hearted.

“I just think you’ve got a lot to handle, and it can be stressful when it goes wrong.”

Luke looked up at him then, and there was a glimmer of something like gratefulness in his gaze. “Yeah,” he said with a small nod and a little bit more conviction. “Yeah.”

They walked in comfortable silence for a minute longer.

“Don’t you have any friends or anything you can chill with sometimes, to make yourself less stressed out? It might help-“

“I don’t really have time for that kind of stuff. I think I have a grand total of, like, two friends, and they both hate me.”

“No girlfriend then?” 

Luke just laughed, so Sam took it as a no.

“When does Dean come back?”

“Two weeks.”

“Oh, nice.” 

The silence continued.

“I do owe you, though,” Luke added after a moment. “For getting him out of being sent to juvie. He’s my little brother, man, he’s practically my kid, and you saved him from being a convict and fucking up his life. I can’t thank you enough.”

Sam felt himself flush red again. He kept doing that. “How about you just stop thanking me and we’ll call it even,” he answered with a slight smile.

Luke looked up at him curiously, and then grinned. “Awww, am I embarrassing the law student? Sorry kiddo, it’s what comes of being part of the family.” 

Something inside Sam soared. Maybe it was the idea of being part of an actual family for once.

“Do you really think that?” 

“Think what?”

“That I’m part of the family.”

Luke actually laughed, to Sam’s surprise.

“Hell, Sam, you’ve done more for us than my father ever did. Naomi opens up to you and you got Gabe out of going to juvie, you’re practically a damn miracle worker. You’ve stayed with us long enough. Of course you’re family.”

Sam smiled, mostly to himself. “That’s what brothers do, I guess,” he muttered jokingly, and Luke laughed, throwing an arm carelessly around his shoulders and pulling Sam’s body against his side.

“That’s the spirit, kid! Now come on, we’ve got a good half hour’s walk before we get home and I only have one cigarette left. We gotta hurry.”

 

*

 

Nobody had seen Luke for three days, and Sam could tell that Cas was beginning to freak out.

“I’m worried about him,” Naomi sighed one evening when she and Sam were watching TV. They could see Cas pacing the kitchen with his hands clasped firmly behind his back, watching the door. “He hasn’t slept in almost two days.” 

“What about Luke?” Sam asked quietly. “Where do we even think he is?”

Naomi shook her head, and Sam took that to assume she didn’t know. “He does this sometimes. We don’t know. He could be off on a bender, or beaten up in an alley somewhere, or maybe he’s been arrested again. God only knows.”

“You don’t seem very concerned about that,” Sam pointed out. “No offence.” 

Naomi shrugged. “I am, I guess, but he’s done this before, and as frustrating as it is there’s usually money to be had at the end of it. That’s the thing about Luke. He always comes home, and more often than not he comes home with enough money to put us through the week. Cassie, though, he really does need to sleep.”

Sam was having trouble accepting Naomi’s blind faith in the man. From where Sam stood, it was absolutely not okay do abandon family. You always called, or left a note at least, to let them know where you were. Vanishing off the face of the earth, even for a few days… Well, Sam had experience in that area with his own father, and it wasn’t good. 

 Luke should know better than to put himself in a situation where something could happen that left these kids alone, anyway. He should know all about that, especially after what happened with his own father.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Sam sighed, getting to his feet and stretching himself out. He crossed the living room and leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen. “Hey, Cas?”

“Mm,” Cas hummed, and from this distance Sam could see that his eyes were bloodshot, and he had dark circles under them.

“You really need to get some sleep, man. Everyone’s worried about you.”

“I’d rather just wait up a little bit longer, actually-“

“Cas,” Sam said, trying to use his warning voice. “You look dead on your feet.”

“It’s been three days,” Cas said in a rush, turning to stare at Sam. He looked really, really worried. “Three days, Sam! He should be home by now!”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Sam tried to reassure him, chewing on his lip. “And even if he’s not, Cas, how do you expect to be there for everyone if you’re walking around like a fucking zombie?!”

Cas sighed deeply, but when he didn’t reply Sam took his queue to continue.

“Just for two hours, or SOMETHING, just go upstairs and take a fucking nap for god’s sake.” 

Cas looked only half convinced. “And you’ll stay up? Just in case?”

Sam sighed, nodding. “Yeah, Cas, I will.” 

“Cas?”

In their discussion, both Sam and Cas missed the back door being opened and someone stumbling inside.

Leaning heavily against the kitchen table, blood streaking his face and what looked like a bullet hole in his left shoulder, was Luke. His face was stark white and gaunt, and he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. His entire body was shaking, and the bruises on his arms and chest stood out even more against his pale skin. 

Sam’s jaw dropped. He looked like a dead man walking. 

“What the hell happened to you?!” Cas gasped, sounding both worried and furious, rushing over to him and immediately forcing him down into a chair. “Did you get SHOT?! Jesus, Luke, I thought you said this was just a routine job!”

Luke made a half-arsed gesture towards the door with his good arm, flinching in pain, and Cas turned to Sam with an apologetic expression. Sam could see the anger bubbling up behind his calm gaze.

“Sorry, Sam. Could you give us a minute?”

“Sure…” Sam backed out of the room, closing the kitchen door. He turned to Naomi, who was craning her neck to see.

“What’s happened?” She hissed. “Is he back?”

Sam nodded, pressing his finger to his lips. He pushed his ear to the door, trying to listen to the conversation the brothers were having.

Naomi crept over beside him, trying to do the same.

Sam could only hear snippets of the conversation, but he didn’t exactly like what he was hearing.

“…Hostage for two days, which I- ow- wasn’t exp- JESUS, Cas, take it easy with the bandaging- expecting, obviously… I got out, though, but they’ll be looking for me probably. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. I deserve a fuckin’ pay rise after that. You don’t think I need to go to the hospital, do you? I’m so sorry brother, I thought it was gonna be an easy one-”

And then some choice phrases on Castiel’s behalf interrupted Luke’s speech, which even Naomi seemed to be surprised to hear.

“FUCKING ASSHOLE,” was the next thing they heard, and this was very clear because it was practically shouted, followed by a loud whine of pain, and a crash.

Sam jumped, and Naomi’s eyes widened. They burst into the room to find Luke unconscious on the floor, Cas standing over him with flecks of blood on his knuckles.

“Did you… Punch him in the face?!” Naomi asked shrilly, staring incredulously at Cas. 

“I’m going to bed,” Cas stated loudly, angrily turning and storming up the stairs.

Sam and Naomi were left standing in the kitchen, staring somewhat in shock at Luke’s figure on the floor.

“Cas didn’t do the bandaging very well,” Sam murmured, getting down onto his knees and examining the poorly-tied thing on Luke’s shoulder. “I should redo it.” He’d had lots of past experience with this kind of thing. Him and Dean had been left alone a lot when they were kids, and that had led to a kind of bizarre survival instinct which enabled both brothers to sew up a wound with nothing but a fishing hook and some dental floss. 

“I’ll help,” Naomi said quickly, but Sam shook his head. 

“No, you should go upstairs and ask Castiel why the fuck he punched his bullet-riddled brother in the face.”

“Fair enough,” Naomi conceded after a moment, and within seconds she had disappeared up the stairs.

“You,” Sam started with a sigh as he began to drag Luke by the shoulders over to the couch, “Do not work at a club, do you?”

Lifting the unconscious man onto the couch was more of a struggle than Sam had expected it to be, but he finally managed it. 

Grabbing a bottle of vodka out of the fridge, a sharp knife from the drawer, some more bandages, and a sewing kit, Sam sat himself down beside Luke’s unmoving body and set to work.

He peeled off the guy’s torn dress shirt first, and was surprised to discover that he had a tattoo of a mermaid spanning his left shoulder right the way down his back to his waist. It was a little weird, but it was beautifully designed. Must’ve cost a fortune, which was ironic.

He managed to get the bullet out with the knife without much difficulty after that, although the removal of the damn thing caused a much heavier blood flow. He poured vodka on it to try and disinfect it, and was grateful that Luke was unconscious, because it would have really, really hurt.

“Fuck,” Sam muttered, as he quickly moved on to trying to sew the hole together before he could lose any more blood.

It wasn’t until he had to shift Luke over onto his side to finish sewing it up that a huge, and I mean _huge_ , wad of cash slipped out of the waistband of Luke’s ripped up jeans. There was at least five grand there.

Sam’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He picked it up quickly and slipped it into his pocket before anyone else could see. He wasn’t gonna keep it, obviously, but it seemed smart to just hold on to it for the moment.

“How’s he doing?” Naomi was back, hovering over the back of the couch.

“He’ll live, I think,” Sam muttered, tying off the pink thread he’d used to sew the wound because it was the only colour they had. “He’s lucky though. Two inches down and he’d be a dead man.”

Naomi let out a sigh of relief. 

“So,” Sam started, taking a swig of the vodka himself as he began wiping the blood off Luke’s face and torso with a damp towel. He almost smiled when the burning sensation in his throat settled in his chest and stomach with a warm, fuzzy weight. “Did Cas say why he punched him?”

Naomi shook her head. “He just said it was personal business and Luke would tell us if he wanted to,” she said bitterly. “I hate that they’re hiding something from us.”

Sam thought about how he felt when Dean suddenly broke the news to Sam that he was going to Afghanistan in four days. “I know how you feel,” he muttered. 

Luke stirred slightly under the towel, and Sam quickly jerked backwards. “He’s waking up. Get him some water or something.”

“No, vodka’s fine,” Luke grunted, eyes still closed as he held out a hand. 

Sam and Naomi exchanged looks.

Luke let out an impatient growling sound, waggling his fingers, and eventually Sam gave in with a huff and handed him the bottle.

Luke downed almost a quarter of it in one go.

“Hey!” Naomi yelled, snatching it back. “No!”

“It’s for the pain,” Luke groaned dismissively, opening one eye and keeping the other squinted shut. “Did Cassie punch me?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, and he was surprised at the venom in his own voice. “He did. Didn’t say why, though, care to explain where the fuck you’ve been?!” 

Luke struggled to sit up, clutching at his head with one arm, the other- his left- hanging limply by his side. “Am I still bleeding?” His voice was rougher than usual, but Sam noticed he was trying to compensate by simply speaking in a quieter tone.

“Sam fixed you up. You’ve got pink stitches.”

“Gee, thanks Sammy-“

“Cas was freaking out, Luke! Where have you been?!” Sam demanded in a hiss, trying to keep his voice down for the sake of the people sleeping upstairs.

“That’s a good damn question,” Naomi muttered, and Luke held his hands up in surrender.

“I’ll explain, I promise, can I just get some food and shit first? Where are my cigarettes?”

“Jesus, big bro, no wonder you haven’t had a girlfriend in forever, you’re so damn demanding.” 

Luke sighed in frustration, rubbing his face with his hands and pointedly not answering.

“I’ll make you a sandwich or something,” Naomi snapped irritably. “Your cigarettes are where they always are. When I get back, you’d better fucking spill.” 

Luke waved an arm dismissively as Naomi vanished into the kitchen, flinching as he shifted his position slightly. “Sam, could you grab my shit from that drawer?” And then, in a lower voice, “Do you have my money?” 

Sam didn’t know why he obeyed. He snatched Luke’s lighter and a single cigarette out of said drawer and threw them at the blond man slumped on the arm of the sofa. “Here. And yeah, it’s in my pocket.”

“Thanks,” Luke muttered, and Sam noticed his shoulders visibly lose tension. He lifted the cigarette to his lips and just managed to light it with his trembling fingers.

Sam stared at him expectantly. He pretty much guessed that Luke wasn’t going to admit everything in front of Naomi, so he guessed he’d try and get him to open up at least a bit while she was in the kitchen. “Well?” 

Luke sighed, and the familiar smell of smoke surrounded Sam’s nostrils. He didn’t even find it distasteful anymore, that was how used to it he’d become. The blond glanced over at the kitchen door, as if checking for Naomi, before he said in a low voice, “I don’t exactly work at a club, okay?” 

Sam frowned. “Yeah, I gathered.”

“I’m, like… I dunno, like a mercenary I guess.”

Sam blinked. “A what?”

“You know. Like, people hire me to go after people who owe them money.”

Sam almost leaned back in shock. “Like a HIT MAN?”

“Shhh! No! I’m not a fucking hit man, Christ, I don’t kill people. I just…. Persuade them to do what it is my client wants them to do.” 

“You beat them up.”

“Sometimes, yes.”

Great. The guy was a thug. A thug who had six people at home who needed him to not be fucking dead every night. And none of them knew, apparently.

“Do they know? The kids?”

Luke scoffed, then winced. “No, of course not.”

“Does Cas?” 

“Mm.”

“Fucking brilliant. Really responsible, Luke, nice one.”

“Excuse me, kid, you’re a lot fucking younger than me and have no idea what I’ve done for this family, you are NOT allowed to lecture-“ He let out a short bark of pain, doubling over. “JESUS…” 

Sam raised his eyebrows. “I’m not lecturing Jesus, Lucas.”

“Lucifer.”

“Huh? Dude, I know you dropped out of high school and shit but you really can't be confusing Jesus with the devil right now, because that's just not possible."

“No, my name. ‘S not Lucas. It's Lucifer.”

Sam felt his eyebrows practically shoot up into his hair. “Your real name is Lucifer? That explains a fucking lot.”

“That’s really rude!”

"Is that seriously your name though?"

Luke frowned. "You think I'm lying?"

Sam scoffed, "Well, you have history."

"Yes, Sam, it's my real fucking name." The voice was practically dripping in sarcasm.

Naomi came back in at that point, holding a cracked plate with what looked like a potato chip sandwich on it.

Sam raised his eyebrows. 

Naomi shrugged, dropping the plate unceremoniously on Luke’s lap. A few of the chips fell out. “It’s all we got, sorry.”

“Good enough,” the older man said as he shoved the sandwich into his mouth. “Fuck, I’m hungry. Haven’t eaten in days.”

“And why’s that?” Sam asked pointedly, glancing at Naomi.

Luke sighed. “Can’t I just explain it to everyone in the morning?” 

Naomi smirked. “What, so you have time to think of a cover story? No thanks. Spill it, Luke.”

“Excuse you both, I’ve just been shot!” Luke exclaimed, shoving the last bite of really unhealthy sandwich into his mouth with a bliss-filled expression. “How many times have you guys been shot?!”

“Never,” Naomi muttered, at the same time Sam said, “Once.” 

Luke eyed him curiously before finishing, “Well, this is my third time, and I’d appreciate some fucking sleep.”

“You’re on my bed.”

“You sleep on my fucking couch, Winchester, if anything this is MY bed.”

Sam wasn’t going to argue.

“You’re gonna have to tell me sooner or later,” Naomi warned as she got to her feet.

“I don’t have to tell you jack,” Luke sighed, leaning back into the sofa and making himself comfortable. “Go to bed, Naomi.”

There was a pause. “I’m glad you’re okay, though,” Naomi said quietly. “We were worried.”

Sam saw Luke’s mouth twitch into a small, private smile. “It won’t happen again. I missed you guys too much.”

But Naomi was already gone.

Sam stayed put, still staring at Luke. “Where were you?” He asked one more time, a slight note of desperation in his voice. “What happened?” 

“It’s a long story,” Luke started, a slightly resigned note in his voice. “And just to let you know, I had no idea it was going to turn out the way it did. It was just supposed to be a simple job.”

Sam nodded slightly, leaning forwards in his chair to watch Luke.

The blond opened his blue eyes, the usual sharpness in them dimmed, whether by pain or the vodka Sam didn’t know, and began to explain. 

“Someone hired me to extort their money out of some guys on the west side. It was a standard request; I get shit like that all the time. Except, the client didn’t tell me that these guys were serious. Mobsters, you know? Like, _serious_ dudes. Anyway, I showed up far less prepared than I should’ve been. They kept me at their place until the people I work for promised to back off, which obviously they didn’t do, because I mean fuck all to these people. I managed to get out and steal the fucking money in the end, because I’m good at what I do and people hire me for a reason, but the guy I was sneaking past woke up just as I was leaving and shot me.”

Sam found he’d been absently chewing on his lip. “That’s really irresponsible,” he said quietly. “Having a job like that. These kids depend on you, Luke, what if something happened?!”

Sam thought he saw guilt flash across Luke’s tired face, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. “It pays the bills,” he said in a low voice. “What else am I supposed to do? I do what I’m good at and it pays well, so why the fuck not? Cassie could handle it if something happened to me. I trust him.” 

Sam sighed, running one hand through his admittedly really long hair. “But you’re like their father, they _need_ you.”

“And that’s a fucking lot of pressure to put on a 25-year-old!” Luke hissed. “It’s HARD for me, dammit! I need an outlet or something! And if the outlet happens to be my job, so fucking be it!”

Sam didn’t want to argue. He held up both hands, shaking his head in defeat. “Whatever, man. It’s your life. But I don’t like the idea of you disappearing and leaving Cas to pick up the pieces, okay?”

Luke grunted his understanding, wincing as he shifted so he was lying down.

Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "You're not really going to tell Naomi the truth tomorrow, are you?"

Luke met his gaze. "No." He didn't give Sam a chance to object before he spoke again, "So who shot you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You said you'd been shot once. Who shot you?"

Sam smirked. "My brother. It was by accident though; he was standing on the other side of the yard trying to shoot bottles off the fence and I ran in the way. I was only, like, seven. And it was a leg shot so I was fine." It had hurt like fuck at the time, but over the years Sam had started looking at this memory in a fond way. It's not often that your 11-year-old brother shoots you in the leg with a shotgun.

Luke looked a little disappointed at Sam's explanation, as if it wasn't interesting enough, but if he had any objections he didn't voice them. Instead he just settled himself deeper into the couch. "Sorry Sammy, looks like you’re gonna have to find somewhere else to sleep. I shotgun the couch.”

“Mm,” Sam agreed with a barely repressed yawn, the drowsiness hitting him all at once like an oncoming train. “Can I use your room?” 

“Yeah, sure." 

“Thanks. Glad you’re not, like, dead. Although stupidity clearly seems to be a dominant genetic trait in this family.”

“I appreciate that.” Sam could hear the humor in his tone.

“Night, Luke.”

“Mm,” he hummed, closing his eyes as he shifted deeper into the couch.

And with that, Sam left him alone.


	4. A Visitor

Dean was supposed to arrive home in a week, and for some weird reason unknown to Sam, Castiel seemed even more excited than he did.

Sam first noticed it when himself, Cas, Luke and Alfie were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, which consisted of a piece of slightly overdone toast and thin layer of cheap Tescos peanut butter.

Luke had been helping Alfie with summer homework of some kind with Ruby on his lap, while Sam read the newspaper and Cas just sat there stirring his coffee and staring blankly at the table. 

“So Dean comes home next Thursday,” Sam remembers saying conversationally, downing the rest of his orange juice.

“Guess that means you’re out of here, huh?” Luke had said, glancing up at Sam from over those stupid glasses he’d gotten into the habit of wearing recently. They were those huge ones with the black frames that teenage stoner art students wore, and Sam hated that they suited him. His eyes looked even bluer than usual, which should have been impossible but somehow wasn't. 

“Probably,” Sam agreed. “I could go and stay with him in Phoenix, if he still has a place there. He did when I last saw him.”

“No,” Cas had said quickly, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. Even Alfie looked up with a small eyebrow raised.

“I mean, that’s okay. Dean can stay here with us, if he wants to. And you, obviously.”

“Cas, hate to break it to you man, but there’s really not enough space for Dean AND me on the couch,” Sam had chuckled. “Although, really, it’s flattering that you want me to stay that bad.”

“Dean could share Cassie's bed,” Luke had muttered under his breath with a smirk, absently playing with a small strand of Ruby’s fine blonde hair.

Cas had choked on his coffee.

Luke just smiled into his.

Alfie giggled, turning the page on one of his textbooks.

Sam had looked from one brother to the next, sure he was missing something as he watched Cas desperately try to regain control of his breathing. Shaking his head, he let it go.

Then there had been the other night, when Sam and Cas were playing on the X-Box that Luke had bought as an “I’m really sorry for disappearing for three days without an explanation” gift. Cas had casually asked if Dean ever mentioned him at home. Sam had answered honestly, that he did occasionally, and he could’ve sworn that when he did he saw Cas’ cheeks turn pink.

The whole thing was bizarre. Then again, Cas and Dean had been really good friends, and seeing as Dean had been gone for nearly two years it was no wonder the guy was excited about seeing his friend again. 

Sam was standing behind the register at the grocery store, thinking about what he was going to do about accommodation when his brother finally arrived home.

Obviously they couldn’t both crash with the Miltons, and he felt if he stayed any longer he’d be overstaying his welcome. Maybe he could book a hotel or something if it turned out Dean’s place in Phoenix was no more, and if the worst came to the worst he could always just go back to school and spend the rest of the summer in his dorm.

He sighed, lightly tapping the keys on the register out of boredom. He glanced up at the clock; the 16-year-old kid with bad acne and worse hair who was supposed to come in to take over his shift was almost fifteen minutes late. Go figure.

When the kid finally turned up, Sam had done a half hour’s overtime, wasn't getting paid for it, and was feeling particularly irritable. He grunted a hello at the younger boy before grabbing his jacket and pulling it on, finally walking out of the empty, air-conditioned store and into the blaring heat of a midsummer day in Georgia.

Sam found himself back on the thought topic of Dean, which was happening a lot lately.

He’d recently realized that he wasn’t sure if he was excited or nervous for his brother’s return, as they hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms. Sam remembered a few choice phrases coming out of his own mouth as well as Dean’s. But hopefully that had all been forgotten in the comings and goings of war, and everything would be fine between them, like it always was.

Someone angrily yelling his name broke Sam out of his reverie.

“SAM!” 

He spun around, and- Oh. Oh shit.

“COME HERE, BOY!”

Fuck.

John.

He was coming- rather, staggering- closer, and he looked _pissed_. Both in the 'raging drunk' sense and the 'absolutely furious' one.

“WHERE DID YOU FUCK OFF TO?!”

Sam could only compute one possible solution- run like hell.

He took off down the street, slamming past strangers giving him weird looks.

He could hear John screaming his name from behind him, but nope, no way was he dealing with that today, he’d put it off until he absolutely had to deal with it, because that was just what their family did. Maybe he could go back and talk to his dad when Dean was back. Dean would know what to do. Fuck, he needed Dean back.

He sprinted across the road and took a sharp left in an attempt to lose John, taking a shortcut through an alleyway he was pretty sure was occupied almost entirely by meth heads. He emerged on the next street over, out of breath, and as far as he knew, not being followed.

A car- a really, really nice fucking car, pulled up beside him and stopped. The driver wound down the window, and oh, there's a surprise, Luke was grinning up at him.

The blond in the almost definitely stolen car raised an eyebrow. “Need a lift?”

Get caught in a stolen car, or beaten to death by his father?

Sam didn’t need to be asked twice. He jumped into the passenger’s side, pulling the door shut as the car smoothly reentered the steady stream of traffic out of town.

“This isn’t Benny’s car,” Sam panted. “Did you steal a different car for once?”

“Benny was out,” Luke shrugged, eyes on the road. “This is our other neighbour’s car. 'S name's Crowley or something. Rich British guy.”

"If he's rich then why does he live next to you?"

Luke shrugged again. "Good question."

“Why did you need it?”

Luke gestured absently to the brown duffel bag on the back seat. “Money drop.” 

“Oh- JESUS!” Sam winced as Luke nearly ran over a pedestrian. “You drive like a fucking madman!” 

“Life is short, Sammy. Who were you running away from?” 

Sam sighed. “My dad. John.”

“Ah,” Luke hummed in understanding. “Are you too a believer in internalizing situations for as long as physically possible?”

Sam snorted, brushing his hair into place with one hand. “I guess you could say that.”

“It’s not healthy, you know.”

“Says the chain-smoking borderline alcoholic with a family of seven at 25,” Sam smirked.

“You’ve got cheekier. You were really sweet and polite when you first moved in, and now you’re an asshole to me all the time.”

Sam’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry.”

They pulled into the driveway beside the Miltons' house.

“Relax, I was kidding. Attitude is a good thing.”

Luke messily parked the car, reaching around and snatching the duffel out of the back. As he did so his body brushed past Sam’s, and he caught a whiff of smoke, cheap coffee, and something like vanilla. All in all it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant smell.

“You smell nice,” Sam found himself saying outloud, before internally punching himself in the throat. Why the fuck did he just say that? They were two guys in a car, Jesus Christ, that was a really weird thing to tell a dude. He felt himself flush scarlet.

Luke turned slowly to face him, one eyebrow raised. “Thank you,” he said somewhat uncertainly, blinking at Sam. “You okay there, Sam?” 

Sam figured he just had to own it; there was no going back now.

“I’m good,” he muttered awkwardly, sliding out of the car and going up the steps to the porch. He heard Luke follow, humming something quietly under his breath.

Sam pushed the front door open and was immediately greeted by the sight of a full living room, everyone sans himself and Luke crowded onto the sofa, all talking at once, shouting over each other to try and make themselves heard, as was the way in this family.

They all fell completely silent as Sam entered with Luke just behind him. Gabriel’s eyes were guiltily averted, but everyone else was staring somewhat nervously at their older brother. 

Sam glanced sideways at Luke, who opened his mouth, and then seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. His sharp eyes scanned everyone in the room slowly, one by one.

There was a brief silence before he finally spoke, and his tone was a combination of frustration and resignation.

“What did you do?”

“Gabriel broke the boiler,” Anna accused, and suddenly the uproar started again.

Cas was sitting in the armchair with Ruby on his lap, one palm covering his face, looking as though he was 100% done with this situation.

Sam heard Luke let out a deep sigh as he dropped the bag he was holding to the ground, tossing his keys into the glass jar on the windowsill. He immediately joined his siblings on the couch, squeezing himself in between Anna and Alfie, and demanded to know what had happened over Gabriel's shrieks of 'it's not my fucking fault!'.

Taking pity on Castiel, Sam went over to him, lifting Ruby carefully out of his arms. “You alright there, Cas?” He teased.

“I need a vacation,” the older boy complained. “This is driving me nuts.”

“What happened to the boiler?”

“ _Gabriel_ happened to the boiler,” Cas said sadly, and Sam grinned at him.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He was pretending to be Spider-Man to amuse Ruby and Alfie, and-“ 

“I get the idea.” 

“Luke’s going to send me out to steal a boiler in a minute, I know he is.”

"What makes you say that?"

“Cassie,” came Luke’s loud and resigned voice from over the clamor. “I’m gonna need you and Naomi to check the obituaries for recently dead people, and then break into their house and steal a boiler, okay?”

Cas let out a noise like a dying cat and curled up even tighter on the chair.

Sam couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing.

 

*

 

With Cas and Naomi gone off somewhere to steal a boiler, Ruby upstairs asleep, and Luke at work- actual work at the café this time, not beating some poor guy up for money-, the house was really quiet.

Sam wasn’t too sure where Gabriel, Anna and Alfie were. He was pretty sure Alfie was upstairs reading, and maybe Anna was at her friend Meg’s; he thought he remembered something about that on a sticky note on the fridge, but he really didn’t know about Gabriel. But that seemed to be a common occurrence in this house; people just tended to wander in and out when it suited them.

Sam would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the peace and quiet, though. He was definitely enjoying sitting on the couch alone with a cup of coffee, watching TV and just generally winding down. It hadn’t been an awesome day so far, what with his dad chasing him through the city and all.

He was just about to change the channel when there was a brusque knock at the door, and Sam let out a sigh. Trust the universe to ruin his nice afternoon.

He stood up and went over to the door, pulling it open.

A short, blonde woman with plump, pouty lips and steel grey eyes was glaring at him from the porch. “I need to talk to Luke.”

She pushed her way rudely past Sam and strode straight into the living room as if she owned the damn place. Sam immediately disliked her. “He’s out; who the hell are you?” 

The woman gave him a once over, one eyebrow raised in what looked like disgust. “I could ask you the same thing, honey. I’ll just wait here until he gets back.”

Sam stared helplessly at her. “Sam. Give me your fucking name, lady, or I’m calling the police.”

She laughed, and the sound reminded Sam of the calm, jingling of bells to signal a god damn nuclear crisis or some menacing shit like that. She held out her hand to him.

“Lilith, dear, my name’s Lilith.”

“Ruby’s mom,” Sam said, understanding. “Riiight…” He hesitated slightly before taking her hand and giving it a shake. “Why do you want to talk to Luke?”

Lilith’s eyes went icy. “He hasn’t been returning my calls. I want to see Ruby and he’s not letting me. So, I figure, show up and he has to.”

“He doesn’t have to do shit,” Sam shot back, feeling a twinge of anger. “You know the last time you refused to give him the money, they shut our power off?”

“Yeah,” Lilith agreed lightly, examining one nail. “I know, I don’t care. But she’s still my daughter, and I have parental rights to see her. I could always just call the police and they could shut this little freak show he’s got going on here down, but I’d rather tell him about it first, so I could watch him slowly go crazy. Why are _you_ living here? Are you doing him?”

Sam was staring at her in shock now. Luke was right. She was actually insane. “And what if I told you to get the fuck out?”

“Then I’d tell you to shove it up your ass before I knock you out and cut you to pieces,” Lilith said sweetly, pulling a huge fucking _steak knife_ out of her purse and waving it at him. The blade glinted silver in the light from the window.

Sam was sure of it now as he took two steps away from her, holding up his hands slightly in an attempt to show that he meant no harm: She was a psychopath.

“Cassie, you back yet?” Luke’s voice. Shit. The sound came from the kitchen, and Sam heard the back door slam shut. “Do we have a boiler?”

“Heya Luke,” Lilith called out to him, her cold eyes still fixed on Sam’s. “I just dropped by to see why you weren’t returning any of my messages about Ruby, and to ask you nicely to let me see my baby.”

Luke was immediately in sight, frowning hard at Sam. “You let her in?”

Sam stared incredulously at him. “I didn’t fucking know, did I?!”

“Ask me nicely?” Luke shot back at Lilith, still glaring at Sam. “With a steak knife?” 

Lilith grinned, and the sight was genuinely terrifying. She turned the knife on Luke, slowly moving towards him. “I want to see my baby, Luke. Where is she? Because if you don’t let me see her, I’ll call the cops.”

“You still owe me money,” Luke said calmly, not even seeming to care about the knife steadily approaching his throat. “At least thirty bucks it is now. Am I ever gonna get that?”

“Am I ever gonna see my girl?"

"Give me the cash."

"It’s been almost four months, you know. I have to see her.”

“Not if I don’t get my fucking money, you don’t.”

“You know I hate it when you swear,” Lilith purred, and Luke crossed his arms over his chest as she drew even closer.

"Never much cared what you thought of me."

The tip of the knife was pressed against his jaw now, and Sam could see a small trickle of blood running down his neck. Jesus, she actually cut him- and he didn’t look in the least bit phased, which should’ve scared Sam a lot more than it did. 

“Where’s my money, Lil?”

“Where’s my baby, Luke?”

“You really want to do this now? In front of him?” Luke gestured to Sam, and Sam frowned in confusion.

Lilith laughed. “Oh, you know me, sweetheart. All take and no give, and I don’t much care who watches.”

Luke smirked, gently bringing his hand up to cover hers on the hilt of the knife and drag it away from his face. “I know too damn well.”

Before Sam could do so much as blink, there was a flurry of movement. Luke had pushed Lilith backwards and grabbed her shoulders, spinning her into the wall. The knife was in his hand now, and he was pressing it calmly against the skin of her collarbone, but he didn’t draw blood.

“Get out of my house,” he breathed, his face so close to hers that they were practically touching.

Sam swallowed, feeling uncomfortable. He shifted slightly, looking away. There was a sort of undeniable chemistry between the two people in front of him that it was almost impossible to watch without feeling slightly turned on, and he felt so colossally _bad_ about that. 

“I don’t care that you hit me. I don't even care about what you did, Luke,” Lilith’s soft voice seemed to smile. “I just care that you didn’t tell me. We could still have a life together.” 

Luke laughed, the sound so low and deep and almost menacing in his chest that sent chills down Sam's spine.

He ran his tongue once over his lips. “I don’t want one.”

Lilith smirked. "Oh?" She breathed. "We'll see…" She leaned forwards excruciatingly slowly and pushed a deep, heavy kiss to Luke’s open mouth.

Sam felt his heart still as Luke froze for a fraction of a second, but then he snapped back to life and kissed her hungrily back, one hand locking itself roughly in her hair so hard that Sam was sure it was painful, and pulling her chest against his. He shoved her harder against the wall, and Sam thought he heard Lilith laugh against his mouth.

The whole situation was definitely, undeniably turning him on now, and yet Sam found himself unable to look away. 

After what seemed like years, Luke pulled away from her with a soft, wet sound, and Lilith looked up at him with mockingly sad eyes.

“I know you don’t love me.” 

“That’s not quite true.” Luke breathed, and his pale blue eyes snapped up to stare straight at Sam. He winked.

Sam’s pulse spiked slightly. It was a few seconds until he was able to break Luke’s gaze.

“Fine; you might love me but I know you don’t _want_ me-”

Luke smirked. “Bingo.”

Lilith plowed right on. “But I just want to see my girl, Luke. I have that right. She’s my baby. I love her. That’s all I want.” She was pleading with him now, and Sam could see the blade of the knife edging slowly up her collarbone to her throat.

“Tough,” Luke snapped, and his previously soft voice had gone icy cold. “We’ll talk when I get my money.”

He pushed Lilith harshly away from him and towards Sam, and Sam found himself edging backwards and away from her.

“Get out of my house.”

Lilith flashed her teeth at Sam in a charming grin. “He loves me really. No matter what he says. He always will, even if he prefers people of the-”

“Out, Lil,” Luke practically growled, pointing at the door with the knife. “Now.”

With one last laugh, Lilith glanced over at the staircase. “I will see her, Luke,” she almost threatened as she walked out of the house, pulling the door shut with a click behind her. 

Luke’s entire being visibly relaxed, and he put the knife down on the top of the cabinet with a sigh.

“Sorry you had to see… That,” he apologized tiredly, gesturing towards the door. “She can be a little…” He trailed off.

Sam swallowed, unable to get the image of him kissing her out of his mind. “No, it’s… Fine…”

There was a really uncomfortable silence, where the only noise was the faint sound of the washing machine in the kitchen.

“It’s like a game, see,” Luke spoke up again, and Sam got the feeling that he was trying overly hard to explain himself. “You just have to let her think she’s winning.”

“I got it.”

“Mm.” Luke sighed again, searching in his pockets for a cigarette. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” He disappeared into the other room, leaving Sam alone. 

He was only alone for a minute at most, though, because the front door was thrown open suddenly behind him. Reflexively Sam jumped, but as he turned to see what it was he discovered that it wasn’t in fact a knife-wielding ex-girlfriend but Castiel and Naomi, returning victorious with a huge boiler sticking out of a Tescos shopping trolley.

“Guess what we stole, bitches! Good as new! We're all having hot showers tonight!”

Luke must've heard Naomi's shouts of victory because he reemerged from the kitchen, looking hopeful. “Boiler?! Well fucking done, guys!” He grinned, practically skipping over to Cas and clapping him hard on the back.

“Luke,” Naomi said after a moment as he pried the trolley out of her hands and began wheeling the boiler into the kitchen, “You’re bleeding.” 

“Huh?” He glanced over at Sam, confused. “Am I?”

Sam shrugged slightly, pointing to the small cut on his face where Lilith had sliced through his skin. “Little bit.” 

“Oh,” Luke brushed his hand alone his jaw, smearing the blood slightly. “It’s nothing. Cut myself shaving.” His eyes met Sam’s again, almost daring him to speak up. 

Sam didn’t.

The rest of the afternoon passed, luckily, without event. Sam helped Cas install the new boiler, which wasn’t as easy as Luke had made it out to be before he left for ‘work’ in the evening.

At midnight, when the rest of the family finally decided to leave the living room so he could sleep, Sam lay on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. He thought back to Luke and Lilith’s run in that afternoon, and immediately stopped thinking about it when he realized that it wasn’t the thought of Lilith’s body up against the wall that had interested him earlier;

It was the thought of Luke putting it there.

Wait a minute.

Was he actually… Into that? And attracted to Luke, of all people?

Luke?

 _Really_? 

Great, he was having a sexuality crisis, and apparently his taste in men was even worse than his taste in women. 

That wasn’t really possible though, was it? Sam wasn’t gay. At least, he hadn’t been gay the last time he checked. He definitely hadn't been gay when he dated Jess. So that’s it then, he was definitely not gay, right? 

But then again, straight guys didn’t find other guys attractive. Being straight didn’t explain that little bit of gut-wrenching want he’d felt when he watched Luke kiss her. 

Maybe it wasn’t actually Luke he found attractive, though. Maybe it was just the way he kissed Lilith, all rough hunger and passion and need- 

He needed to stop thinking about that. 

Like, right now.

 _That must be it then,_ Sam thought as he rolled over onto his side to face the back of the couch. He wasn’t attracted to the dude himself, he couldn't be. It was just the way he kissed, all hot and rough and definitely not Sam's usual style but it seemed to work for him. It just happened to be a guy kissing in the way that made Sam's stomach twist, not a girl. No big deal. Didn't make him gay.

He sighed, closing his eyes. It had been a long day. Maybe things would make a bit more sense in the morning.


	5. X-Box, Spaghetti and Hannah Montana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the last chapter was kind of short, and therefore I've made up for it by making this one super long. ._. sorry guys :P
> 
> -cat

The day before Dean was due to come home, Sam found himself alone in the house with Luke, and of course Ruby, who wasn’t really able to do much else. 

It was the first time they’d really had a chance to talk since the whole Lilith incident, and Sam was determined not to take it. He figured if he avoided the guy then maybe the weird thoughts that popped into his head when he was around would just disappear.

No, instead of making conversation, he sat on the couch playing X-Box while Luke danced around the tiny kitchen to the radio; entertaining Ruby while he cooked whatever was for dinner. 

Every now and then Sam would look up and see Luke singing emphatically into the wooden spoon like a teenaged girl, spinning about like he was fucking Hannah Montana or some shit, and Ruby giggling and clapping in her chair. He was even wearing those stupid fucking hipster glasses that Sam both hated and kind of liked.

It was so… Domestic.

It was actually pretty goddamn adorable.

It made Sam smile. 

Over the last few days it had admittedly become harder and harder for Sam to deny the teensy crush he might have on a certain Milton family member. In order to rectify the situation, because Sam was still pretty sure he wasn’t gay, Sam had been doing his utmost to stay as far away from Luke as possible. 

He sat as far away from him as he could at mealtimes, and avoided him around the house. But, as always, things didn’t go quite his way, and since they were the only two people (besides Ruby) in the house for the evening, Sam figured that words were going to have to be exchanged eventually. He was just waiting for the right time.

Soon enough the smell of spaghetti bolognaise was too tempting, and Sam dropped the controller onto the couch and made his way into the kitchen, where Luke was still dancing around like an idiot.

“Smells good,” he commented with a grin as Luke spun and nearly crashed straight into him, skidding to a stop and staring at Sam with wide eyes.

Sam smirked.

Luke's blush actually visibly spread down his neck.

“Um. How long have you been standing there?”

“Literally ten seconds.”

Sam thought Luke seemed pretty relieved about that. 

“Oh, right.”

“I could see you dancing from the living room, though. It’s not half bad. Really. You’ve got a lovely singing voice, too. You should go on American Idol.” 

Luke glared at him, slapping him hard on the arm with the wooden spoon. “Oh go fuck yourself, Winchester.”

“Your glasses make you look like a hipster.”

“I only wear them because I’m not rich enough to pay for a constant supply of contact lenses. But I also secretly like how much better they make me look.” His tone was practically dripping with sarcasm on the last part, giving Sam the impression that he really, really hated the damn things. Which was a shame, actually, because they _did_ look good on him…

Sam grinned and changed the subject, in case he accidentally blurted that thought out loud.

“So, spaghetti for dinner then? And is that actual sauce I smell, and not the cheap tofu shit that we had to eat all last week?”

“Mm,” Luke hummed happily, turning his back to Sam and pressing a button on the radio to turn the volume down slightly so he could hear him more easily. “Got Gabriel to grab some stuff from the grocery store while Anna pretended she'd lost her dog. Problem?”

Sam was getting pretty used to the obscene levels of petty crime surrounding this asshole. “Absolutely not a problem.”

“Great.”

Sam moved over behind him, glancing into the huge pan on the stove. “Why are you making so much of it?”

“Because it’s just us two, Ruby and Cas in tonight. Everyone else is on some school summer camping weekend trip thing. So, I figured if I make loads now we could eat the rest over a period of, like, three days or something. The kids will only have to eat it twice so they won't complain, and us three can deal with spaghetti for three nights, right? Save me cooking, and saves money. Simple.” 

Sam grinned again, reaching around Luke’s body in the tight space to snatch the coffee pot from off the counter. “That’s actually a well thought-out idea, Luke. Never knew you were such a good house husband. Can you pass us a mug?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Luke twisted around, planting two mugs in Sam’s hand. “Pour me a cup, could you?”

Sam was already on it. “It’s behind you.”

“Mm, thank you.”

Sam took a sip of his crappy coffee. “You’ve got tomato sauce on your shirt.”

“Shit, do I? Where?”

“Left sleeve.”

Luke swore, glaring down at the blob of red on his otherwise white shirt. “This is my nice shirt, too.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Why are you wearing your nice shirt?” 

Luke shrugged. “Wanted to look nice, need there be any other reason?”

Sam grinned, brushing his hair back with one hand. “Guess not." He eyed Luke's hands almost curiously as the guy stirred the spaghetti. He had nice hands-

Luke raised an eyebrow at him as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. “What?”

“Nothing,” Sam said quickly, seating himself down at the kitchen table. “Just you, acting all civilized and shit.”

Luke frowned. “I’m always civilised.” 

Sam laughed. “Oh, right, so the whole moonlighting as a hit man thing is civilised?”

Luke shrugged. “I’m not a hit man. And it’s a means to an end, like. Pays the bills.”

“Sure,” Sam teased, raising his coffee to his lips.

They fell into silence. The sound of Coldplay's _Violet Hill_  played softly in the background, and Sam could hear Luke humming softly along as he drained the spaghetti.

“When’s Cas meant to be coming home then?” Sam asked conversationally, swirling his coffee around in his cup and staring into the dark liquid as it spun. 

He wasn’t looking at Luke, but he knew he was shrugging. “Around seven, I think.”

Sam glanced up at the clock on the wall. “It’s half five,” he pointed out. “Why are you cooking now if he’s not home for another hour and a bit?”

Luke was shrugging again. He did that a lot. “Bored. Hungry.”

“Fair enough.”

Another silence.

“I hate this song.”

Luke actually dropped his spoon. It landed on the ground with a clatter, and he turned to stare in horror at Sam. “You _what_?”

“I said I hate this song."

“Why?!” Luke demanded, eyes wide as he watched Sam. “HOW?! This song speaks to your _soul_!”

Sam didn’t really know himself why he disliked it so much. “It’s just boring,” he insisted. "And I don't really like Coldplay."

“No,” Luke said firmly. “No. You’re wrong. This is one area, Sam, where I am not willing to get over our differences for the sake of friendship. Coldplay's great, this song is great, and if you say one more word you are literally not eating for a week. I can make that happen.”

He bent over to pick up the spoon, and as he did his shirt lifted up at the back to reveal a thin strip of the skin of his waist, just above his belt. Sam chewed his lip, quickly deciding to look away, but before he could he noticed a flash of ink, a tattoo, on Luke’s skin just covered by his belt that he hadn’t seen last time when he noticed the mermaid on his back.

Sam let out a snort of laughter. “Do you have a tramp stamp?” 

Luke spun around accusingly, eyes narrowing as they focused on Sam’s. He jabbed the spoon at him. “Were you checking out my ass?” 

“No,” Sam argued, “Stop making this about me, YOU have a tramp stamp!”

“That’s not what it is,” Luke said in a voice that was probably supposed to be airy, but came out as somewhat petulant. “Fuck off.”

“What is it?” Sam teased, leaning forwards on the table with his coffee mug in his hands. He knew he looked like a gossiping soccer mom, but screw it. “Is it a butterfly?”

“Fuck off,” Luke repeated, more insistently this time. “Leave me alone, you demon, do you _enjoy_ preying on other people’s insecurities?”

“Ah, so it’s an insecurity then!”

“I literally never said that Sam, what the fuck.”

“Is it a flower?”

Luke let out a grunt of frustration. “I don’t know, it’s a fucking _hamburger_ , Sam, what the fuck do you want? Do you want me to pull down my fucking pants and show you?”

Sam laughed, rolling his eyes. “Whatever floats your boat, buddy.” He repressed the tiny part of him that screamed _yes, yes do that, please do that._  

Luke huffed, putting a quarter of the now-finished spaghetti bolognaise in a large bowl and just managing to shove the rest in the fridge. He poured more sauce on top of the pasta in the bowl, stirring it a bit before leaning over the counter and plopping the large bowl down in the center of the table.

“Just help yourself.”

“What happened to being domestic? Aren’t you gonna serve me?”

“I might’ve done if you hadn’t been rude and ruined it.”

Sam pouted. “Aw.”

Luke looked up at him with a glare.

Sam gave him his best puppy-eyes, the ones that Dean used to say would work on an Irish mobster if Sam ever got the chance to pull that off.

Luke sighed, rolling his eyes and snatching a handful of forks out of the drawer. “You’re a hard one to dislike, Sam Winchester. You’re too secretly nice and sensitive. I can see it in your eyes.”

Sam grinned, a warm prickly feeling sliding into his chest. “I try.” 

“It pays off.” Luke sat himself opposite Sam with two bowls. Throwing the forks on the table he handed one to Sam before spooning some spaghetti into the bowl in front of him. He cut it up into small pieces and placed it gently in front of Ruby.

“Here you go sweetheart,” he told the toddler in a soft voice. “Eat it nicely. I just washed that dress you’re wearing.” 

He then began to fork some out of the serving bowl in the middle and put it straight into his mouth.

Sam, who had just finished putting his own helping into his bowl, stared at Luke with a raised eyebrow. 

Luke met his eyes. “What?” He asked through a mouthful of food.

“You just gonna eat that out of there? You’re an animal. Why don’t you have a bowl?”

Luke shrugged, swallowing the food in his mouth. “Less washing up later. Which you’re doing, by the way, 'cause I cooked. I’m actually helping you by doing this.”

Sam smirked into his spaghetti. “Well, thanks.”

As much as he’d rather just not, Sam did actually enjoy spending time with Luke. He was just so much fun to talk to, as well as being pretty damn easy on the eyes. Even if he didn’t have a bit of a crush on the dude, he’d probably still like being around him.

Probably.

“Luke, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Sam asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“Mm, depends on the question. But go ahead.”

“What happened between you and Lilith?”

He glanced up just in time to see Luke’s shoulders tense. Sam bit his lip. “Too personal?”

“No,” Luke said quickly, looking up to meet Sam’s eyes. “It’s just, when I tell people around here they tend to look at me different.”

Sam shrugged. “To be honest with you Luke, I don’t think there’s a whole lot more you could tell me about yourself that would shock me at this point.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you just surprise me a lot, that’s all. Surprise, I have a kid. Surprise, I’m a hit man-“

“Not technically a hit man,” Luke argued, but Sam just carried on: 

“Surprise, I regularly steal my neighbor’s car, surprise, I keep a gun in the cabinet- do you get my point?”

Luke smirked. “Think so.” 

Sam grinned at him. “So? What’s the story?”

Luke ran one hand backwards through his hair, forcing it to stick up in all different directions. “When Ruby was around 7 months old, Lilith came home and caught me in bed with someone else.”

Sam whistled, twirling a strand of spaghetti around his fork. “Smooth,” he commented casually.

Luke’s pale blue eyes met Sam’s, and shit, Sam was never going to get used to the pure electricity in his gaze. It had a certain gravity to it that made it almost impossible for Sam to look away. 

Well, it would've been impossible if Sam were into all that.

“A guy.”

Sam’s food caught in his throat. Did Luke just say what he thought he'd heard? He coughed, loudly, to avoid choking on pasta. “Excuse me?”

Luke sighed, this time adamantly avoiding Sam’s eyes. “You heard me.”

Sam grinned toothily at him, trying and hopefully succeeding in trying to hide the fact that his heart was literally about to jump out of his throat, through the window and down the street to the city.

“Damn right I heard you, did you just tell me that you cheated on your girlfriend, with whom you had a baby, with another _guy_?”

Luke glared at him. “Anyway,” he said pointedly, “She freaked out and left me. Said I’d humiliated her. Wasn’t until a few weeks later that she decided she didn’t care and wanted to fuck me anyways.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, pulling himself together enough after this revelation to ask some normal questions. “Did you let her?”

Luke grinned lopsidedly. “Once or twice.”

Sam smirked. “Dude.”

“What?! I just had to check, you know, to make sure I was still gay. There’s no manual for this shit. You don’t get a postcard on your doorstep one day that says, “Hi friend, you’re a homosexual!” I just needed to make sure. And anyways, sex is sex.”

Sam snorted. “That’s grim.”

“Oh come on, it happens all the time. Elton John was married, for fuck sake.”

“Yeah,” Sam laughed, “Okay, whatever you say. How come people look at you different when you tell them that you’re gay?”

“It’s a rough neighborhood. I don’t exactly try to advertise the fact for pretty obvious reasons. Most people aren’t okay with it.”

“Alright, that’s fair.” 

Luke watched him curiously, lifting his own coffee to his lips. “You ever fucked a guy, Winchester?”

And Sam was _so_ close to choking on his food again.

“No,” he said finally, finding himself unable to look Luke directly in the eyes. “Can’t say I have.”

Ruby giggled from where she sat in her high chair.

Sam grimaced as he looked up at her. “Dude, should we really be talking about this in front of her?” 

Luke shrugged. “She’s only two. And besides, I want my girl to grow up to be the least judgmental person on the planet, isn’t that right sweetheart?” 

“Daddy,” Ruby giggled, reaching out for him with her grabby hands.

Luke grinned at Sam. “See? She doesn’t mind.”

"Well excuse me for not wanting to mentally scar your kid," Sam smirked, putting another mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth."

"Oh, trust me, she lived in a house with Lily and me for over a year. She's plenty scarred."

“Do you still love Lilith?” The abruptness of his own question surprised even Sam.

Luke seemed surprised too. “You know what,” he began, looking thoughtfully at the opposite wall. “I think a small part of me always will.”

Sam felt a slight twinge of jealousy. “Even though you’re gay?” 

Luke shrugged, leaning on his elbows. “Well why not? Sexuality can be fluid like that. Like gender, you know? If you’re gay and fall in love with a woman, who the fuck am I to judge? Or the other way around? I don’t think it should matter. Who came up with the idea of putting labels on this shit anyways?”

“Yeah,” Sam said slowly, realization dawning on him. “I guess you’ve got a point.” 

Why _was_ it so weird that he had a crush on Luke? Maybe he _was_ still straight, and this was just another in a long line of exceptional things to happen to Sam Winchester. Like Luke had said, sexuality could be fluid, right? Who’s to say Sam’s wasn’t?

Luke tilted his head slightly, watching Sam with a grin. “You look like you’re having a religious experience over there, kid,” he teased. “You okay?”

Sam shook himself out of it. “Yeah,” he chuckled, reaching for more spaghetti. “Sorry. So no boyfriends or nothing since Lilith?"

"Few one night stands and the usual shit, you know, but nothing real. I'm not really looking." Luke shrugged casually, draining his coffee and instantly pouring more.

"How come?" Damn.

"I dunno," Luke sighed. "I guess just because I've got enough to deal with as it is, and romance is seriously not on my fucking list of priorities right now."

Sam hummed his agreement. "But, like, what if you met someone really special?"

Luke raised his eyebrows at him over his mug, and Sam continued:

"Someone you really cared about."

"Don't have a whole lot of opportunities to do that kind of-"

"Hypothetically," Sam waved an arm. "Would you?"

Luke crinkled his nose. "I don't think so. Not right now."

Sam snickered. "Got something against true love, Milton?"

Luke looked at him strangely. "I don't believe in that shit."

Sam frowned. "What, really?"

The blond shrugged.

"What about Lilith?"

"That's not really the same though, is it."

"But really? You don't believe in true love?"

"Nope."

Sam whistled. "So what would you do if you met someone who was willing to just drop everything for you, who cared about you so much that they were willing to do anything and everything to make you happy, even if you didn't feel the same way?"

Luke raised his eyebrows. "I'd pity them."

Sam swallowed, nodding his head slowly and going back to eating his pasta.

Engulfed in his own thoughts, he faintly heard Luke clearing his throat.

“It’s French, if you really want to know.”

Sam glanced up at him, confused. “What?”

“The tattoo on my back.”

“The tramp stamp?" 

Luke smirked. “Whatever. Yeah. It’s in French.”

"It's not a picture?"

"No, dumbass, I just said it was in French." 

“What does it say?”

“’Va te faire.’”

“What does that mean?” 

“Fuck off.”

“No tell me, I don’t speak a damn word of French.”

“No, that’s what it means. It means ‘fuck off’ in French.”

Sam let out a snort of laughter. “Why do you have that tattooed above your ass? Does it have any kind of significance?”

Luke rolled his eyes, but Sam didn’t miss the quick upward quirk of his lips in a smile. “Does it _have_ to be significant?”

“Things involving you often are.” 

Luke’s eyes snapped up to Sam’s, and a small frown clouded his features for a moment. “What do you mean?” He asked slowly, and Sam realized that he didn’t really know himself.

He shrugged.

Luke’s frown faded, and he just gave a small shrug of the shoulders. “It doesn’t really mean anything. I guess I just found it pretty amusing. It was a prison tat.”

“Prison tat?”

“Jesus, you grow up in the White House? It’s pretty literal. I got it done in prison.”

Sam nodded his understanding. “How long were you in prison for?”

“Seven months, sixteen days.”

“Is it like the movies?” 

Luke blinked. “I’m sorry?” 

“You know, is it just full of rape, a hierarchy to rival that of India, cocaine and people being shanked?”

Luke laughed. “Two of those four, in my case. Good luck figuring out which two.”

The corners of Sam’s mouth curled up in a smile. “Did you get the mermaid tattoo done in prison?”

Luke tilted his head. “You know about my mermaid?”

Sam raised his eyebrows, staring into his drink. “I had to sew your shoulder together, so forgive me for taking your shirt off. Does the mermaid mean anything important?” 

Luke smirked. “Alright, Mr. Sassy Pants. And no, the mermaid doesn’t mean anything. Why should it? It’s a fucking mermaid. I liked it, so I got this guy I know with his own machine to tattoo it. Not in prison. Everyone assumes that tattoos have to mean shit, and they just don’t. Isn’t it enough to say when you’re forty, ‘Yeah, this seahorse means nothing, but I loved it when I was in my twenties’.”

Sam smiled, listening to Luke ramble on. “You’ve got the opinions of an eighteen-year-old white girl,” he grinned, shaking his head slightly in amusement. "You're already a third of the way there, too, with being white and all."

Luke rolled his eyes. “Ah, but would you date me?”

“Huh?”

“If I was an eighteen-year-old girl,” Luke prompted. “Would you date me?”

Sam raised an eyebrow, ignoring his heart, which was practically beating out of his chest. _Don’t fuck this up, Sam_. “Why?”

“Because, stupid, if you would then these are the exact opinions I’m going to keep having. You’re a good guy, Sam, I’d love to have a boyfriend like you.”

Sam’s cheeks flushed scarlet. “Are you drunk?” He half teased, now looking anywhere but Luke’s face.

“Actually, for once, no,” the older man said proudly, not seeming to notice Sam’s horrific embarrassment. “Stone cold sober.”

“Do you have any other tattoos, Luke?”

The ex-con smiled, tapping his nose knowingly. “Me to know, Sam. Keep an eye on Ruby for me? I need a smoke and I don’t like doing it around her.”

Sam nodded, watching Luke’s retreating back as he slipped out the back door.

A few minutes later Luke was back, smelling of smoke like he normally did, and something almost vanilla-y. It was the same scent Sam had detected in the car that one time. 

“Do you wear vanilla cologne or aftershave or something?” Sam couldn’t help but ask, frowning at Luke as he sat down. 

Luke raised an eyebrow. “I don’t wear cologne. Can’t afford it.”

“Then why do you smell like vanilla all the time?” 

“That’s a good damn question, that is.” Luke ruffled his hair around, stealing a piece of spaghetti off Sam’s abandoned plate. “You excited for your brother to come home?" 

At the mention of Dean, Sam smiled.

“Yeah, I am,” he answered, and was surprised to discover that it was an honest response. He knew in his heart that Dean would forgive him for what he’d said before he went off. Dean was a forgive-and-move-the-fuck-on kind of guy. So yeah, he was excited to see his brother again. 

Luke smirked. “Cas is excited too.”

“Yeah,” Sam said with a slight frown. “What's up with that? Just how close _were_ those two?”

Almost as if on cue, Castiel burst through the front door. He looked exhausted and bedraggled and absolutely starving, if the way he was eyeing the food on the table was any clue to go by.

“Good evening,” he said in his polite, gravelly voice. “Is that spaghetti?” 

Luke made a lazy gesture with his arm. “Help yourself, bro.” 

“Thanks,” Cas sighed, rushing into the kitchen and practically collapsing down into a chair beside Luke. “Hey Sam.” He pressed a kiss to Ruby’s forehead. “Hey Ruby.” He snatched Luke’s fork out of his hand and proceeded to practically shovel the spaghetti into his mouth.

Both Luke and Sam watched on in surprise.

“Cassie,” Luke said slowly. “You alright there, buddy?”

“So hungry,” Cas managed through mouthfuls of food. “Skipped lunch. Dying slowly.”

Sam snorted, and Luke rolled his eyes. “Sam, you couldn’t pass me the bourbon on that shelf behind you, could you?" 

Sam spotted the bottle easily. He grabbed it and passed it over the table.

“Thanks.” Luke twisted the cap off, and then poured half the damn thing into what remained of his coffee.

Sam watched with raised eyebrows. “What’s that all for? Was our conversation really so horrible that you want to forget it already?”

“Oh, ha ha,” Luke said sarcastically, putting the cap back on and sliding the whiskey over to Sam again. “I’ve got work in ten minutes,” he explained, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses. “I work better intoxicated.”

“Is this café work or… Not-café work?”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “Who goes to a lunch café at 7 in the evening?”

Fair enough.

He raised the mug to his lips, and instantly downed the whole thing.

Sam stared at him as he slammed the empty mug back down on the table, coughing. “Right,” Luke choked out, giving Cas a sharp slap on the back. “I gotta get going.” 

He took his glasses off and threw them haphazardly down on the table, simultaneously snatching a cigarette out of his pocket and putting it, unlit, in between his teeth. 

“But I just got here,” Cas protested around a mouthful of spaghetti. 

“And you were late,” Luke said smartly as he stood up, giving Ruby a quick kiss on the cheek and letting his hand rest almost subconsciously for a moment on Sam’s shoulder. The weight felt warm and heavy on his shoulder, and Sam found he missed it when Luke began to head out. “See you later.”

“Thanks for dinner,” Sam called after him as the door slam shut.

Cas made a faint noise of agreement. Sam watched him, grinning.

“Dude, just take the whole damn bowl if you’re that hungry, I've eaten about as much as I can.”

“Thanks,” Cas said gratefully, pulling the bowl towards him.

 

*

 

They’d been playing on the X-Box for almost three hours now.

Cas had taken Ruby up to bed almost as soon as Luke had disappeared out the back door, and then he and Sam had settled down on the couch for a video game marathon.

“SHIT!” Sam yelled as a virtual grenade blew one of his virtual legs off. “Agh, I should’ve seen that one coming.”

Cas let out a snort of laughter that was so low it practically vibrated the molecules of the room. “That’s what you get for gunning down that innocent elderly woman on the last mission,” he said in a chastising tone, smirking as he picked up the ammo Sam had dropped in the explosion. “Prepare to be dominated.”

Sam grinned, not taking his eyes off the screen as he gripped the controller harder, as if that would somehow affect the standard of his play.

“So Cas,” he said after a few more minutes, gritting his teeth as he entered a particularly edgy point in the game. “Hold on-“ He pressed a few more buttons, and then let out a laugh of victory. “Okay, so Cas, are you lookin’ forwards to seeing Dean tomorrow?”

Cas growled, staring at the screen of the TV with laser focus. “Ermm, yeah, I am, I think. I miss him. He’s a good friend.”

“He’s a good brother too,” Sam agreed. He took his eyes off the game for a moment to look over at Castiel. 

The older boy was sitting with his legs crossed on the sofa next to him, watching the screen intently. “If you don’t look back at the screen I’m gonna win,” he pointed out in his ever-logical voice, not taking his own eyes off the TV.

“Do you love my brother? Did you guys have, like, a thing?”

Cas froze. “What?” 

Sam put the controller down in his lap, watching Cas carefully. “Come on, man, it’s not like I’d care. Just tell me. Did you ever love my brother? Like, in _that_ way?” 

“Who told you _that_?!”

“Nobody told me anything, I’m just… Askin’.”

“No.”

“Cas-“

“Look, Dean and I had a bond-“

Sam was grinning.

Cas kept going, voice getting louder and slightly more desperate, “-as best friends, and that’s how it’s always been, and how it will always be. Nothing more.”

Sam kept grinning as he picked his controller up again, not pointing out how Castiel’s cheeks had gone bright red, and the blush had even gone as far as to travel down his neck.

“Okay,” he said in a sing-song voice. “If you say so.” 

“I do,” Cas grumbled, and Sam let the subject drop as the nerdy-looking dude seemed so flustered that his knee, which was jogging up and down at the speed of fucking sound, wouldn't stop twitching. Besides, he had his answer.

Sam heard the front door open.

“Luke, hey,” he called, eyes back on the television screen.

“Move over boys,” the eldest Milton sibling said as he collapsed on the couch in a small space next to Sam. By ‘next to’, what was actually meant was ‘basically on top of’; not that Sam was complaining, obviously.

As Sam looked up, he noticed that there was a bruising pattern that looked suspiciously like fingermarks around his throat, and he had a black eye, which had definitely not been there when he left.

“Did you get what you went for?” Sam asked, and Luke smirked, pulling a huge wad of cash out of his pocket.

“Of course I did, I always do.”

Cas nodded his approval without looking, frowning at the TV.

Luke glanced at the screen. “What are we playing?”

“Call of- okay.” Luke had already snatched the controller out of Sam’s hand.

Sam smiled to himself, biting down on his lip to make it less obvious. He was completely content to sit in the middle watching the two brothers play, occasionally arguing about whose fault what was, and shouting swear words when something didn’t go their way.

He felt like he was at home.

“Sam, I can’t see shit, go and get my glasses out of the kitchen.”

"You do it."

"I'm fucking busy, prick, and it's my damn house. Go."

 Yeah; definitely home.


	6. Wingmen

Sam and Cas were meant to go and pick up Dean in less than half an hour from the airport, and Luke still wasn’t back with the goddamn car.

He had told Sam and Castiel that he just needed to run by the police station to fill out some paperwork for Gabriel's arrest a few weeks ago, and that it would only take an hour, maximum. It had now been almost two, and the moron still wasn't back with the car that they definitely needed if they were going to actually get to the airport.

Every time a car could be heard going past the front porch, Sam would rush to the window; every time the car wasn’t Benny’s, Sam would groan and slink back to the couch.

“He’ll be here,” Cas said every time, but Sam wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure Sam or himself.

The seconds ticked by, and Sam got gradually more and more stressed. This was one occasion where he really, really could not afford to be late. Not this time. Dean could be very selectively sensitive about these things, and he knew that if he wasn’t there on time it would probably result in not speaking to each other for at least a month while Dean got over the mini-abandonment.

At twenty minutes to go Luke finally pulled into the driveway with Benny’s car, and Sam and Cas were out the front door before Luke even had time to properly park. 

“You DICK,” Sam gasped as he flew off the porch and over to the car, grabbing Luke’s arm and tugging him maybe a little too forcefully out of the driver’s seat. “You said you’d be gone for an hour!”

“I’m sorry, I got held up!” Luke let out an indignant sound of pain as he was tossed unceremoniously onto the sidewalk, almost losing his balance but just managing to snatch onto the somewhat unstable fence; the one with the peeling white paint.

“Sorry,” Sam managed to remember throw at Luke, jumping into the driver’s side and twisting the key in the ignition. “No time to talk. Gotta go. You in, Cas?”

The older boy was already in the car, slamming the door shut. He clipped in his seatbelt, looking up to meet Sam’s eyes. “Let’s go.” 

The wheels made a horrible screeching noise on the tarmac as Sam sped off, leaving a very disgruntled and confused Luke on the sidewalk outside the house.

With Sam breaking the speed limit almost the entire way, the pair just managed to make it on time.

They sprinted through the airport, both gasping for breath, and skidded into the arrivals hall just as the rest of the men on Dean’s flight were coming through the big double doors marked ‘Customs’.

“Thank god,” Sam sighed in relief, collapsing against the barrier. 

Cas clapped him on the back. “Well driven.”

“Thanks, man.”

Sam felt a prickle of excitement as he watched family after family be reunited, tears of happiness and shouts of joy from children heard from all the way across the room. He wondered if Dean would have changed at all since the last time they’d spoken, keeping his eyes locked eagerly on the frosted glass doors.

At one point he chanced a glance at Cas, who seemed even more intent on watching the doors than Sam was.

He grinned to himself, eyes returning to that same spot.

They didn’t have to wait much longer before Dean appeared through the double doors, looking almost exactly the same, give or take a few small details.

He was browner, Sam noticed, _much_ browner, and his hair was cut a little shorter than usual. But he still walked the same way, and he was looking around with that faintly-confused-but-trying-to-hide-it expression that Sam recognized instantly. 

“Maybe me coming wasn’t such a good idea,” Sam heard Cas say from beside him in an uneasy voice.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cas. You guys were friends, right? Dean!” Sam called out to him with a grin, waving his arms excitedly. “Hey!”

His brother caught his eye and then grinned widely, the smile threatening to take over his entire face. “Sammy!” He yelled back, holding out his arms in an air of faint surprise. “You came!” 

“Of course,” Sam laughed, and before he could say anything else Dean had dropped his bags onto the ground and pulled Sam into a huge, life-threatening crush of a hug. Apparently the fight they’d had before Dean’s deployment had been forgotten by him, and Sam wasn’t complaining.

“I missed you, little brother!” 

“You too, Dean,” Sam choked out, “But seriously, let go, can’t breathe-“

“Oops,” Dean laughed, “Sorry.” He pulled back, clapping a hand so hard on Sam’s back that he had to fight back a wince.

“You’ve grown, Sammy! How tall are you now, 8 feet?! Jesus, Sam, I’m older; I’m supposed to be the tall one. You’re making me look bad, dude.”

Sam laughed, feeling a little light-headed, probably due to the shortage of oxygen in his brain from Dean's hug. “Sorry about that.” He glanced around, and noticed Cas was hanging back slightly, standing a few feet behind Sam, not looking at either of them. Sam thought he looked like he was going to be sick with nerves. It was adorable. 

“Cas,” he sighed, grabbing the shorter dude’s arm and pulling him forwards.

Dean’s eyes widened once he saw Castiel, and he seemed to be momentarily speechless. His mouth was hanging open, and Sam was tempted to tell him that he looked like a fish, but decided against it at the last second so as not to sound insensitive. 

“Cas,” he managed after a moment, his voice at least an octave lower than usual.

“Hello Dean,” Cas mumbled, finally looking up to meet Dean’s eyes, which were still wide with surprise and full of something else too that Sam couldn’t quite identify.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Sam grabbed Dean’s bags off the floor. “I’m going to take these to the car, if you guys want to come,” he announced loudly, turning on his heel and heading towards the exit.

“Yeah,” he heard Dean and Cas say behind him in unison, and when Sam glanced back to look at them he saw that they were walking side by side, saying nothing, and not even looking at each other, but somehow still looking completely comfortable in each other’s company. Like they were supposed to come as a pair.

It was weird. 

The drive back was even more uncomfortable than the walk in silence back to the car.

“So how was the flight?” Sam asked eventually, without looking at his brother.

“Shitty. You know how much I hate planes. I thought I was gonna have to waste a baby at one point, it just wouldn’t shut up, and then there was turbulence, and just…” Dean shivered. "I hate fucking planes."

Sam grinned.

“Did you get my emails?” Dean asked, and Sam knew without looking that the words for meant for Cas.

“Yeah,” came Castiel’s solemn voice from the back seat. 

“How come you never replied?”

“I wanted to," Cas insisted quietly. "Our internet got cut off. Luke couldn’t pay the bill.”

“Oh.”

Silence. 

“So Sam, how’s school?”

Sam’s lips twitched into a smile. “School’s good. Hard, but I knew it would be. I’m enjoying it.”

 “Does California live up to its expectations? You know, hot blonde chicks with tans and huge-“ 

“Not always,” Sam laughed, taking his eyes off the road for a second to grin at Dean. “I’m not in LA, remember?"

Sam felt Dean grin at him from the passenger seat. “Come on, Sammy, what’s the point in going to a fancy law school if you don’t take advantage of the perks? Girls would fall at your feet if you only knew how to make ‘em.”

Sam grinned. “I don’t have time for all that kind of stuff, Dean. I’m up to my ass in work half the time, and when I’m not I’m trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve had to skip out on.”

Dean laughed, folding his arms behind his head. “All work no play then, huh? No girlfriend or nothing?”

Sam grinned. "I had a girlfriend, actually. Her name was Jess. She was a really great girl, but…"

"Didn't work out?"

"Not exactly."

"Well, it's the summer vacation! Hook up with some random chick in a bar, Sam, live a little!"

Sam laughed. He really had missed his brother. “So how was Afghanistan? Did you get shot in any embarrassing places?”

“Didn’t get shot once,” Dean said proudly, and Sam could’ve sworn he heard a light huff of a laugh from Cas in the back seat. “I did nearly get blown up, though, last October, which was traumatizing for a few weeks but then I began to see the funny side.”

Sam frowned, taking a left down their street. “What possible funny side could there be to a near death experience?”

“Well, I promised someone I’d give ‘em those ID tag things I wore if I got blown up, but in the explosion they were blasted off me. So in the end I was fine, but my ID was blown to hell.” Dean grinned. “It was funnier at the time, okay? You had to be there. We had a laugh.”

Sam shook his head, smiling. “I’m glad you’re okay, Dean.”

Dean slapped a hand down on his shoulder. “Me too. ‘S good to see you again.”

“Here we are,” Cas interrupted as Sam pulled up outside of the Milton’s house.

Dean glanced around in confusion. “Cas, this is your place,” he said. Sam didn’t question why Dean immediately picked up on that. “Why aren’t we going back to ours? Sam?” 

Sam chewed on his lip. “Ah, I forgot to explain-“

There was a light but insistant knock on his window. Sam glanced up to see Luke glaring at him, cigarette between his teeth as usual, stupid glasses pushed up into his hair. Sam sighed, switching the engine off and unbuckling his seatbelt. He pushed open the door, sliding his legs around to get out of the car. “What?”

“You drank all the coffee,” Luke said accusingly as he folded his arms across his chest. “And don’t say it wasn’t you, because I know it was. I had to _walk_ all the way to the store and buy more.” 

“You were late,” Sam shot back as Dean slid out of the car, still looking confused.

“Sam,” he said pointedly, and Sam quickly turned back to his brother.

“Right, sorry. Um, I came back about a month ago, to spend the summer here and pick you up and maybe just chill at home for a bit, but when I got here John was back. He chased me out of the house.”

Dean was watching him with an eyebrow raised. “Dad’s back?” 

“Yeah.”

“Seriously?”

“Serious as a heart attack.”

"And he chased you out?"

Sam shrugged. "Didn't like that I'd gone to school."

“Fuck.”

“I know.”

“Sam’s been staying with us,” Cas supplied, struggling to lift both of Dean’s bags out of the trunk of the car.

Sam went over to help him.

“So you must be the famous Dean Winchester,” Luke was saying, holding out his hand. “Charmed, really. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Luke, right?” Dean shook Luke’s outstretched hand.

“That’s me.” 

"Hey, I think I remember you from when I used to hang out here. You had a haircut or something?"

Cas was smirking from beside the trunk of the car. "He has. It used to be down by his shoulders."

Luke shot his brother a glare. "It was a dark time for me, okay?"

Sam flung one of Dean’s bags over his shoulder, shoving past Luke to move up the stairs to the front porch.

Dean grinned. “Thanks for, you know, taking in my brother and shit. Our dad’s a tricky son of a bitch.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Luke said airily. “He’s been pulling his weight. Even got a job, didntcha Sammy?”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, shouldering open the door and dropping Dean’s bag onto the floor.

Cas followed suite with the second bag. 

“Really?” Dean asked, and Sam could practically hear his grin. “Where do you work?”

“Strip club,” Luke smirked, ruffling Sam’s hair a little too roughly before sliding gracefully past him and towards the kitchen. “He’s pretty good, too. Cas goes every night to watch.”

“Grocery store,” Sam corrected irritably, reaching out to smack Luke lightly on the back of the head as he disappeared into the next room.

On the couch, Cas was sending out some seriously awkward vibes. “Luke’s a compulsive liar,” he told the ground, cheeks flushing scarlet. "I don't go to strip clubs."

He could practically hear Dean’s smirk. “Oh? Strip club huh, Sammy?” 

“Shut up, Dean.”

Dean was instantly making himself at home. It was a habit of his. He collapsed down on the couch beside Castiel, looking around. “Hey, where’s everyone else? I swear there were like ten kids in this house?”

“School camping trip,” Cas supplied. “They’ll be back tomorrow.”

“So it’s the grownups’ house for tonight, huh?” Dean grinned, rubbing his hands together. “Hell yeah, bring on the party.”

“Technically, only Luke and yourself are of legal drinking age, Dean.” 

“Wow, Cas, you really haven’t changed.” Dean ruffled his hair affectionately. “And whatever, it doesn’t matter. The law can make an exception for the future lawyer and the most sensible 19-year-old in the United States.”

Sam smirked. “Ruby’s still here.”

“Ruby?” Dean questioned, glancing over at Sam.

“Luke’s kid. She’s two.”

“Oh, right, naturally.”

Luke emerged from the kitchen holding the toddler in his arms, like it was planned. “Sam, take her for a minute would you, I need to finish this.”

He didn’t even need to clarify; Sam knew he meant the cigarette. He lifted Ruby out of Luke’s arms and placed her gently down in his lap, where she smiled happily up at him. “Sam!” 

“Ayyy!” Sam and Luke both said at the same time.

“What?” Dean asked, looking between them in confusion.

“She pronounced the ‘S’,” Cas explained with a smile, watching the toddler.

“Awesome,” Sam grinned, holding out his hand to Ruby. “High five.” 

“I haven’t had a chance to teach her that yet,” Luke mused, dropping the end of his cigarette into the overflowing ashtray above the fireplace. “I’ll get around to it soon, I promise.”

Sam smiled up at him, and feeling Dean watching him he turned to face his brother, who he noticed was eyeing him with a smirk. “Which team, brother?” 

“What?”

“Nothing.” He quickly changed the subject, leaving Sam to frown at him in confusion. “What’s the time?”

“Almost eight.”

“Dinner time, then.” He clapped his hands together, turning to address Luke. “I’m starving, have you got any food?” 

Luke waved an arm nonchalantly towards the kitchen. “Yeah, help yourself. Except not to the fruit loops, because those are Naomi’s, and if you touch anything on the second and third shelves of the fridge I’m going to have to kill you. You know, actually, there’s leftover spaghetti in the fridge, it’s probably safest you just eat that.”

“Riiight,” Dean said as he got to his feet. “I’ll bear that in mind…”

“I’ll come with you,” Cas announced, and Sam thought he noticed Dean’s lips twitch into a slight smile before the pair disappeared off into the kitchen.

As soon as they were out of sight, Luke collapsed down next to Sam on the couch.

“How was the UST in the car?” 

Sam groaned. “Off the charts. It was painful in some areas. I thought I was going to choke on it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Want to get them drunk and see what happens?”

“Don’t you have work?”

Luke shrugged. “I took the night off. Nothing’s booked.

Sam grinned. “Alright, what's the plan?”

"We could be, like, the secret wingmen. We'll try and force them to sort out their feelings and then we'll disappear so they can make out in peace."

"Won't we be drunk too? How's that gonna go down?"

"We can still try and be wingmen if we're drunk. If it doesn't work, we've literally got nothing to lose. Come on, Sam, it'll be fun."

Sam hesitated for only a second, before grinning.

"Okay. I'm in."

 

*

 

Sam was having more fun than he was pretty sure he’d had in a very long time.

Ruby was upstairs asleep, and Sam, Dean, Cas and Luke had taken over the living room. Sam was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, his head resting against what he assumed was Luke’s leg, as Luke was the only one sitting on the couch. Dean was sitting by his feet with one elbow resting on his knee, and Cas was close by, leaning on the bottom of the couch, half slumped against the table.

The table, come to mention it, was covered in empty shot glasses, bottles of various types of alcohol, and a still half full bag of Doritos which Dean couldn’t help but tuck into every few minutes. 

They were all laughing hysterically at some crappy joke Dean had learned in the military.

Sam was enjoying the atmosphere more than anything; with a whiskey in his hand and someone’s fingers in his hair, he was feeling more relaxed with every passing second.

“I missed this,” Dean sighed happily, and Sam was still conscious enough to hear the slur in Dean’s voice. “Jus’ sitting. Doing nothin’. ‘S nice, y’know?”

“Mm,” Luke hummed from above Sam, and he felt a light tug in his hair.

“Not much time to do nothing in the army, huh?” Sam giggled, raising his glass to his lips. 

“No,” Dean agreed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your emails,” Cas said sadly, introducing the out of the blue topic seamlessly. “I would’ve liked to-“

“Tha’s okay, Cas,” Dean hiccupped, reaching over and patting his friend on the leg. “I know you would’ve. I was just worried…” He trailed off.

“Worried about what?” Luke prompted instantly, and Sam couldn’t help but grin. Even when drunk the guy was a master of manipulation.

Cas was watching Dean with his big, weirdly electric blue eyes, slightly glazed over from the alcohol. Sam watched him with his head slightly tilted. 

“That you’d forgotten about me or somethin’,” he finished with a yawn, not bothering to cover his mouth. “I didn’t want that to happen.” 

“He didn’t,” Sam and Luke said simultaneously, before bursting out into giggles. Sam felt the warm buzz in his chest sink slightly to his stomach, making him tired and slightly fuzzier than he had been ten minutes ago.

“I didn’t,” Cas agreed, still watching Dean. “Promise.”

“Good,” Dean sighed, and Sam noticed in his drunken haze that Dean still hadn’t taken his hand off Cas’ leg. “Good.”

The warm fingers that had been absently pulling at Sam’s hair were suddenly gone, and Sam tilted his head upwards to see Luke slide lazily off the couch. “I’m going for a smoke,” he announced somewhat dazedly, pale blue eyes watching Dean and Cas on the ground. Sam followed his gaze; the pair hadn’t yet taken their eyes of each other.

Sam giggled quietly. “I’ll come with you,” he said with a not-quite-as-subtle-as-he’d-hoped wink at Luke.

Luke just laughed, grabbing at his arm and pulling him to his feet. Sam felt nails dig into his skin but didn’t really care. “Come on then.” 

Luke had to help him out the front door and carefully lower him onto the steps of the porch so he didn’t fall and die or something, but Sam didn’t care. In his drunken state he seemed to have lost most of his inhibitions, and before he really knew what he was doing he was clinging to Luke’s body like it was a life force, seemingly unable to let go. 

“Getoff,” Luke laughed once they’d sat down, roughly shoving Sam’s body away and reaching into his pocket for a cigarette.

“Sorry,” Sam hiccupped with a laugh, twisting his neck to look up at the night sky.

It was a beautiful night; he could see all the stars without any clouds in the sky, although they all seemed to be spinning in different directions for some reason.

“Nice night,” Sam commented with a sigh, inhaling deeply as the smoke from Luke’s freshly lit cigarette drifted towards his nose.

“Mm,” the older man sighed, and as Sam looked over at him he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the wall. 

He looked beautiful, Sam thought before he could stop himself.

His glasses had slipped slightly sideways on his nose, and his hair was all sticking up in different directions. There was a bead of sweat slipping down his neck from the heat that seemed to shimmer in the moonlight, which only helped define the thick line of muscle that Sam was sure was constant right the way down his chest. He regretted not paying attention to it the last time he’d seen Luke shirtless. Soft swirls of smoke surrounded his face from the cigarette in his mouth, and Sam found himself unable to look away. 

“What’s that?”

Oh, apparently he’d said something.

“I want to try smoking again,” Sam repeated, and oh, that had been what he said.

“Why?” Luke hummed, opening his eyes and sitting up properly to look Sam straight in the eyes.

And, god, his eyes. In the silver moonlight they seemed even brighter than usual, the pale, almost grey-blue amplified by ten as they reflected the light from the stars. Their electricity was dimmed slightly by the alcohol, Sam noticed, and possibly the glasses, but he didn’t care.

“Because I like how you look when _you_ do it,” he was saying softly without his brain’s permission. He sighed, leaning his head on the wall behind him and watching Luke dizzily with his lip between his teeth.

“And how’s that?” Luke asked with a yawn, removing the cigarette from his lips and twisting it absently between his fingers.

“Like nothing else exists,” Sam was mumbling sleepily as he closed his eyes. He should stop talking, he should stop talking _right_ now, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Like… Like time’s just stopped and _you’re_ the only thing that matters.”

Sam heard Luke’s breath catch sharply in his throat, but he kept going. 

“Like you’re the only bright thing in the universe, and everything else is dimmed by comparison, because you just look so lost in it, so relaxed, and at peace, and I want to look like that. I want to be a part of that.”

“Sam, look at me.” 

Sam obeyed, opening his eyes, and Luke’s face was _right_ there, right in front of his, so close that all Sam had to do was lean forwards and they’d be touching. 

“You smell nice,” Sam sighed. “Like vanilla. Like before.” 

Luke hesitated, running his tongue once over his lips.

“Still want to try smoking again?”

Sam nodded, not speaking.

Luke raised the cigarette in his fingers to his lips. “I’m gonna breathe out smoke, and you have to breathe it in, okay? ‘S easier than smoking is and you’ll get used to it faster. Promise.” 

“Okay,” Sam agreed after a second, watching Luke’s lips almost too closely as they closed around the filter.

When Luke exhaled it was in a strong, steady stream of smoke that moved directly towards Sam’s face, but he found himself unable to do anything except stare at Luke’s mouth. 

Luke giggled. “You’re supposed to inhale,” he pointed out, letting the cigarette drop to the floor. 

“I forgot how,” Sam said quietly.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. They just sat there in the dark, staring at each other, neither of them daring to close the distance, but neither wanting to move away.

Eventually, it was Sam who broke the spell. “Your glasses are lopsided,” he giggled, and Luke let out a short huff of a laugh as he leaned back out of Sam’s personal bubble, pushing said glasses up his nose.

“We should go back inside. If they’re fucking on my couch I’m making Dean pay for it to be cleaned.”

Sam felt a little internal burst of anger towards himself; why had he ruined it?!

“Okay,” he sighed, using the porch banister to pull himself to his feet. 

Luke had already disappeared upstairs by the time Sam pushed open the front door, apparently, because he was nowhere to be found. 

The first thing he noticed was Dean and Cas on the couch, both fast asleep, all tangled limbs and blankets thrown haphazardly over them. Sam smiled; it was actually pretty adorable.

His bed currently occupied Sam made his way slowly up the stairs. He nearly walked straight into Luke at the top, who was standing facing the wall with his forehead pressed against it. He jerked back when Sam lightly tapped his shoulder, clearing his throat.

“My bed’s got people in it,” Sam explained with a sigh, and Luke smiled at the ground as he pushed his glasses up into his hair.

“Use mine.”

Luke roughly grabbed at Sam’s wrist, pulling him into his room and practically shoving him onto his bed. He moved to turn away when Sam snatched a hold of his hand.

“No,” Sam found himself saying. “Stay here. With me. ‘M cold.”

Luke stilled slightly under Sam’s hand, before relaxing. “Fine,” he sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Sam kicked his shoes and jeans off and then watched as Luke did the same, hesitating before he peeled off his faded grey t-shirt. As Luke’s arms rose above his head in a stretch he could see the mermaid tattoo on his back ripple like it was alive, and it was so realistic it was almost hypnotising. 

Sam heard the clatter of Luke’s glasses being thrown onto the nightstand, and then it went dark as the lights clicked off. Sam collapsed back into the pillows just as Luke slid under the covers, and Sam turned to face him.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment in the dark, Sam’s heart thudding loudly in his chest that he was sure Luke could hear it from that distance.

“Are you always so rough?” Sam asked, voice sounding oddly loud in the quiet room.

“What do you mean?” Luke sighed quietly.

“Every time you do something it has this kind of roughness to it. Like an energy.” Sam licked his lips once, staring into Luke’s face. “Like when you were playing with my hair, or pulling me outside, or in here. Do you do everything like that, or just…” Sam drifted off, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Luke didn’t reply.

They lay there in silence for a bit, staring at each other.

“Night, Sam,” he murmured eventually, chewing on his lip as he turned away, and all Sam could see was the back of his head.

“Night, Luke,” Sam sighed as he closed his eyes.

Within seconds, he was fast asleep.


	7. Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, so sunday's my birthday and i've got a party tomorrow so i'm afraid i won't be posting a chapter until monday at the earliest, maybe a bit after that. these next few weeks are going to be pretty busy, so don't freak out if my posting becomes a little irregular. i promise i'll get things back up and running as soon as i can  
> -cat

When Luke woke up the next morning with a blaring headache and a mouth as dry as the goddamn Sahara, it took him a minute to register that the firm source of heat pressed against his chest was actually a body for once, and not just a pillow or something.

It took him another minute to realize just who’s body it was.

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, blinking rapidly to get the sleep out of his eyes. He sat up slowly and carefully lifted his arm, which had been curled almost possessively around Sam’s waist. He couldn’t remember putting it there.

Memories of the night before gradually returned to him, and he remembered, thank god, that he hadn’t actually done anything with Sam in their drunken state except sleep. And flirt. There had been lots of flirting.

As he fumbled around on the nightstand for his glasses he realized that if the worst came to the worst and Sam actually remembered everything, he could always blame his blatant flirting on the fact that he was drunk as hell. Which wasn’t totally a lie, because Luke _had_ been drunk as hell, and it had almost definitely played a part in his lack of self-control.

It would be inappropriate to go there with Sam, Luke realized. Really inappropriate. The kid was a good seven years younger than him; a year younger than Cas for Christ’s sake. And this wasn’t exactly a lenient neighborhood. If anyone found out, people would talk plenty about Luke’s sexuality, but if it turned out he was screwing someone barely overage… Luke didn’t really want to think about the consequences of that one.

Not to mention the fact that Sam was going to law school, and probably going to lead a pretty good life, and he actually seemed to not be gay. The kid could do better than a high school dropout ex-con with six kids to look after and a job as the neighborhood thug. 

Luke snatched his jeans off the floor and pulled them on, freezing for a few seconds as Sam rolled over in the bed, evidently still fast asleep.

Pants most definitely on, Luke crept out of the room and shut the door behind him. He walked barefoot down the carpeted hall and quietly opened the door to the room Naomi shared with Ruby, smiling at the baby's still-sleeping form in the crib.

He shut Ruby’s door just as quietly as he had his own and descended the stairs with a yawn, entering the living room. 

“Morning Cas,” he acknowledged, seeing his brother stretching in front of the window. He winced as the sun directly assaulted his eyes. Judging by the amount of light pouring onto Luke’s face, it had to be at least 10 in the morning. “Shit, ow.”

“Shh,” Cas hissed as he twisted around in an attempt to stretch his back, gesturing down at the couch.

Luke leaned over the back of the couch and noticed Dean lying there, still asleep. 

“These Winchesters and their sleep, eh,” he smirked, nodding to Cas to join him in the kitchen.

Both brothers entered the kitchen together, Luke rubbing at his head and Cas seeming to be in extreme back pain for some reason. Luke shut the door with a click, before instantly moving over to the coffee pot, because ow, his fucking head.

“What’s wrong with you?” Luke said gruffly, tipping the coffee from the pot straight into his mouth before even reaching for a mug to fill up.

“My back is killing me,” Cas grumbled. “I slept on the couch. No idea how Sam manages it. Where’s your shirt?” 

Luke managed a grin, wincing slightly at the sunlight streaming in through the windows. He slid into one of the chairs around the kitchen table, holding his pleasantly warm coffee mug in both hands. “I left it upstairs. Don’t need to wear one if I don’t want to, it’s my damn house.”

Cas flicked up an eyebrow in an expression that said, ‘well, fair enough’. He poured himself a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice before joining Luke at the table.

“How was your night with Dean?” Luke asked innocently, staring into his coffee.

He could almost feel his brother’s condescending stare.

“Fine,” Cas answered shortly. 

There was a silence.

“Nothing happened, you know.”

Luke smirked. “I know.” The steam from the coffee was fogging up his glasses.

“Do we still have that Advil in the drawer with the forks and shit?”

“The cutlery drawer.”

“Yeah, that. Is there Advil in there?”

“Afraid not, we used the last of it on Alfie’s headache last week.” 

Luke sighed. “Damn.”

“You didn’t sleep with Sam, did you? Please tell me you didn’t, Luke.”

Luke almost choked on his coffee. “No,” he said quickly, once he’d managed to set his mug down safely on the table where it couldn’t hurt anyone. “I didn’t.”

Cas was sending out some seriously judgmental vibes.

“Well, I mean, I _did_ -“

His brother made a noise of discontent. 

“ _In a platonic way,”_ Luke finished loudly. “As in, literal sleeping. Nothing happened, I swear.”

“Because you know he’s only eighteen.”

Luke sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “I know.” 

“People would talk. And, no offense, but he can do better.” 

“Christ, Cas, I _know_! I’ve thought about all this, I’m not a fucking idiot.” 

“Are you sure?” Cas definitely didn’t sound sure. “Because you two seemed to really hit it off last night, and you didn’t seem too bothered about it then.”

Luke glanced at him through his fingers. “You think we hit it off?”

Cas frowned. 

Luke groaned. “No, you’re right. Inappropriate. Got it.” He fumbled around in the pockets of his jeans for a cigarette.

“Those bruises are new,” Cas commented, gesturing at Luke’s chest with his orange juice. 

“Nah,” Luke sighed, pulling a particularly mangled one out of his pocket and lighting it with a match, taking a long drag. “They’ve been there since Tuesday at least.”

Cas wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I hate it when you smoke indoors.”

“I know you do,” Luke sighed. “But I pay most of the rent, so I’ll do what I like.” He offered Castiel a cigarette. “I’ll only ask once.”

His brother hesitated, before sighing and snatching the thing out of Luke’s fingers. “Just this once, because I’m hungover and in pain.”

Luke grinned. “That’s my boy.” He tossed Cas the matches.

“So,” Cas started, face briefly illuminated in orange by the flame of the match before he lit the cigarette and blew it out. “Are you going to pick up the kids, or am I?”

Luke shrugged. “I’ll do it, I guess. It’s 3:00, right?” 

“Mm. You going alone?”

“No, I’ll get bored. Sam will come with me." 

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Is that a good idea?” 

Luke let out an exasperated sigh. “Well what am I supposed to do, ignore him? It’s fine, Cas, really, I can keep it in my fucking pants.”

“ _Dean_ will go with you,” Cas said firmly. “I’ll stay here and keep Sam company.” 

Luke glared. “I’ll just go alone, actually.”

“I don’t trust you.”

Luke stared at him disbelievingly. “You don’t trust me? In a forty-five minute car journey? What could possibly happen between here and the campsite?”

Cas squinted at him. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it.”

Luke frowned at him over his glasses, exhaling a long stream of smoke directly into Castiel’s eyes. “Fuck you, Cassie. Fuck. You.” 

He could’ve sworn the corners of Castiel’s mouth twitched up into a smirk as he tapped out his cigarette over the ashtray on the kitchen table.

“It’s like a 60’s diner in here,” Dean Winchester complained as he entered the kitchen, shielding his eyes from the sun. “What’s with all the smoke, and why’s it so damn bright?”

“Coffee’s on the counter,” Luke said idly, and Dean raised one hand in gratitude as he immediately went over to get some.

“Good morning,” Cas piped up, twisting around to give Dean what Luke assumed was a smile, although he couldn’t really tell with the guy facing away from him. “Did you sleep as horribly as I did?” 

Dean smirked. “Probably. Does your back kill?”

“Oh, yes.” 

“Then yeah, I did. Where’s my brother?”

“Upstairs,” Luke yawned. “He was still asleep when I got up. Didn’t want to wake him.”

Dean gave him a look. “Did you two…?”

“No,” Luke said quickly, ignoring Castiel’s eye roll. “No.”

“Good,” Dean said suspiciously. “Because he’s a fucking teenager, man, and no offense but you’ve gotta be, what, twenty eight?”

Luke stared at him, affronted. “I’m twenty five.” 

Cas let out a soft huffing sound that Luke had learned to interpret as a laugh. He gave him the middle finger, slumping back into his chair and picking up his coffee mug. 

Dean shrugged, body collapsing into the wooden chair beside Castiel’s. “My bad. Do you smoke now, Cas?”

“Only occasionally,” Cas said with a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “When Luke can persuade me.” 

Luke grinned toothily at him. “Oh, that’s right, blame me, because I’m such a terrible influence.”

“Excuse me, Luke, but don’t even _try_ to pretend that there isn’t whiskey in this coffee.”

Luke opened his mouth, and then closed it. “I didn’t think you ever noticed.”

“Oh, I noticed.” 

Dean looked down at his own mug, seeming suddenly to be a lot more interested in drinking it.

“So, Winchester the First, Cassie here has volunteered you to come on a road trip with me to pick up the kids from their camping trip this afternoon.” 

Dean eyed Cas carefully. “Is that right?”

“I want to talk to Sam,” Cas said by way of explanation, and Luke rolled his eyes. “And I don’t trust _him_ to go on his own.”

“I’m six years older than you,” Luke muttered into his coffee. “Six damn years, I practically raised you, and here you are, deciding I’m irresponsible-“

“There’s whiskey in the goddamn coffee, Luke! You’re verging on alcoholism! Not to _mention_ your smoking-”

“Boys, boys,” Dean sighed, waving one arm around in front of them. “Keep it down, would ya? My head’s throbbing like hell.” He blinked at Luke, as if only suddenly realizing something.

“Dude, are you naked?”

“No.” Luke raised his knee above the table to prove it. “Jeans.”

“Oh, thank god." 

“Got a problem with naked men, Deano?” Luke couldn’t help but smirk, pushing his glasses up and into his hair, finally getting sick of the way they steamed up every time he tried to drink his coffee.

Dean didn’t get as flustered as he had expected, which was disappointing. “Only ones I’m not attracted to,” he said neatly back. 

Cas actually laughed, a proper one, and Luke just glared back. “That’s really rude,” he huffed. “I’m actually very appealing.” 

Dean grinned toothily at him. “Yeah, buddy, sure.” Luke was sure he noticed Dean’s eyes soften slightly as he snuck a glance at Cas, who was still grinning widely. 

“You’ve just destroyed his ego,” Cas said seriously. “He was under the impression that everyone for miles around wanted a piece of that.”

Luke flicked up an eyebrow. “Impression? I’ll have you know, Cassie, that were it not practically a felony to be gay around here there would be people queuing up for _weeks_.” 

“You wish,” Dean snorted, and Cas gave him a soft look. It was sickeningly cute. Luke wanted to ‘aww’ out loud and then violently throw up. 

“Ugh, this sucks,” he groaned, tugging his glasses back down onto his nose in frustration. “If I don’t wear them, I can’t see; if I _do_ wear them, they just fog the fuck up whenever I try to drink.” He dropped his cigarette butt into the ashtray beside Castiel’s abandoned one.

“Why don’t you just wear contacts?” 

“Because I’m broke,” Luke said sadly, staring wistfully at his coffee, which was now resting on the table instead of in his hands.

“That reminds me, actually, Luke, do you have work today?”

“No, café’s shut. Lee’s on vacation with his wife so the thing’s closed for the weekend.”

“And… This evening?” 

Luke shook his head again. “Took last night and tonight off. Figured I could use a little vacation, and we’ve got enough cash on hand to last us a few more days.”

Dean grabbed an apple from out of the fruit basket that usually lay untouched on the table. “What do you do?” He asked with interested through a mouthful of apple. 

“He works at a club,” Cas supplied, at the exact time Luke said, “I make people pay back their loans.”

The pair looked at each other.

“What?” Luke demanded. “He’s not family, I can tell him. Besides, _Sam_ knows.” 

“Sam knows? What if he tells the kids?!”

Luke sighed loudly. “He won’t tell the kids.”

Dean was grinning. “What, like you beat people up for money? That’s fucking sick, you must be tough as hell.”

Luke smirked. “That’s what I like to tell myself, yeah.”

Cas was glaring at the table. “Hardly. He always comes home with a different bone broken.”

Luke shrugged. “Always heals, though. And the pay’s pretty good.”

“You’re a thug,” Cas accused.

Luke grinned. “Yeah, but I’m a damn good one.”

Dean grinned widely. “Awesome.”

“What’s awesome?” Sam was here now, just wearing jeans and no shirt, like Luke.

He had a pretty impressively toned chest for an academic, Luke noticed, eyes scanning Sam’s torso before he caught Castiel’s eye, and the sheer force of the glare on his brother’s face was enough to turn water to stone. Luke quickly looked away. 

“My job,” He yawned, stretching back in his chair and trying to look casual. “Coffee’s in the pot.”

“Thanks.” Luke tried to ignore how Sam was obviously avoiding his eyes.

“Mm.”

“Sleep well, Sammy? Because I fucking didn’t.”

Sam smirked as he joined the other three at the table. “Slept on the couch, huh?”

“Yeah.” Dean didn’t look happy about it.

“Why didn’t you say anything about it being uncomfortable?” Luke asked Sam, feeling a little guilty. “We could’ve got you like an air mattress or something.”

Sam waved the comment away with one hand. “You get used to it after a while.”

The sudden sound of a child’s crying brought the conversation to a halt. Luke groaned, getting to his feet and abandoning his coffee. “Excuse me gentlemen, duty calls,” he sighed, leaving the kitchen and heading up the stairs. 

“Morning Ruby,” he cooed over the toddler’s crying as he entered her room, lifting her carefully out of the crib and holding her up against his chest. “Shh, baby, it’s okay, Daddy’s here…” 

He quickly checked her diaper, and it was clean thank god, so he decided that the reason for the crying was food-related.

"You hungry, huh?" Luke sighed, jogging her gently against his chest. "Okay, come on downstairs, we'll get you something to eat."

When he turned to leave the room around he let out a gasp of shock, because _Jesus_ , he hadn’t expected Sam to be right fucking there.

“We need to talk,” Sam said, and Luke could tell by his tone that he meant business. 

Luke sighed, gently patting Ruby’s back in an attempt to stop her crying. “Is this really the best time?” 

Sam rolled his eyes. “It’ll only take a few minutes. Promise.”

Luke chewed absently on his lip, keeping his eyes trained on Sam’s. “Fine, but I’m going first."

Sam nodded his affirmation, folding his arms across his chest. 

“I’m sorry.”

Sam blinked, and Luke got the impression that was clearly not what he was expecting.

“What?” 

“About last night. I was really, really drunk, and I shouldn’t have come on to you the way I did, it was really inappropriate and I’m sorry.” 

“Oh.” Sam stared at him. 

Luke felt something twist in his stomach. He absently jogged Ruby, who’d finally stopped crying, thank god, up and down in his arms. “So, you wanted to say something?”

Sam wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Yeah, just that I was sorry I kind of stole your bed last night.”

Luke shrugged slightly. “I didn’t mind, to be honest,” he admitted. “I enjoyed the company. It’s a big bed for one guy.” He slid past Sam to get to the door, but before he could leave the room, Sam called out.

“Hey Luke, wait.”

Luke turned, watching him expectantly. “Mm?" 

Sam hesitated. “Um… You know what, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Luke nodded slowly, hoisting Ruby up onto his shoulders as he left Sam alone.

Upon reentering the kitchen, Luke noticed that Dean and Cas were in the process of making breakfast.

“Is that bacon?” Luke gasped, putting Ruby down in the highchair and going up behind the other two men to inspect the grill.

“You bet your ass it is.”

“Mm. Perfect.”

He wrapped one arm around each of their shoulders, giving both of them a kiss on the cheek from behind. Castiel smiled, and Dean just looked disgusted.

He grinned. “Aww, look at the two of you. Cooking breakfast together. Sleeping together. You’re practically married, really-“

“Fuck off, Luke,” Dean said lightheartedly as Cas went scarlet. “Or no bacon for you.” 

Luke grinned. “I’ll take my chances.” He went over to the cupboard where they kept the cereal, pouring a small bowl for Ruby and placing it in front of her.

“There you go, baby,” he announced with a smile, and Ruby grinned toothily up at him with a giggle. “Breakfast.”

Sam was back then, and Luke noticed he’d gotten dressed since their conversation. “That smell had better be bacon,” were the first words out of his mouth, and Luke grinned to himself as he jumped up to sit on the counter.

“It is,” he reassured, and Sam’s face lit up. It really was something.

“Aren’t you gonna put a shirt on or something for breakfast?” Castiel asked disdainfully. “Really, Luke. Nobody wants to see that.”

“I can think of at least three people in this room right now who absolutely do want to see this,” Luke countered happily. “Myself not included.”

Dean scoffed; “Don’t flatter yourself, buddy,” and Cas rolled his eyes. Sam, however, gave Luke’s chest a quick once over, shrugged slightly as if he was mildly impressed, and didn’t say a word.

Luke felt his cheeks flush slightly. He quickly jumped off the counter. “I’m going to get dressed,” he muttered, and he heard Sam laugh behind him.

 

*

 

It was 2:15. Time to go pick up the rest of the family.

“Dean!” Luke yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “C’mon, man, we gotta go!”

“Just a minute,” came the return shout, and seconds later Dean was jogging down the steps. His hair was still damp, leaving Luke to believe the reason he was rushing about a few seconds before they had to leave was that he’d just taken a shower. “Let me grab my phone and shit from the kitchen.” He disappeared off into the other room. 

“Have fun,” Sam said in a singsong voice from his place on the couch, where Luke was pretty sure he was reading the porn magazine that always seemed to find its way to the living room table.

“You’re just jealous because Cas won’t let you come on a road trip with me,” Luke said happily.

Sam raised his eyebrows, turning to stare at him. “Cas won’t let me?”

Luke shrugged slightly. “Didn't he tell you? I wanted you to come, but Cassie said he needed to talk to you about something.”

“Oh,” Sam blinked. “Right.” 

“Mm,” Luke sighed, going over to him and leaning over the back of the couch to see what he was reading. “You know, it’s weird to read a porn mag in the living room of a house full of grown-ass men.”

Sam shrugged. “Nobody seems to care.” He held up a particularly graphic page of a naked woman, practically shoving the monstrosity into Luke’s face. “Does this seriously do nothing for you?” 

“Oh god, Sam, gross,” Luke found himself saying in disgust, snatching Sam’s arm and forcing it down. “No, it really doesn’t.”

"But you've slept with women," Sam pointed out.

Luke crinkled his nose like he was weighing the options. "Yeah, but sex is sex," he said after a moment. "You know? Just because I like to do it doesn't mean I like to look at it."

"That's actually kind of mean."

“What’re we talking about?” Dean was back.

“Nothing; we gotta go.” Luke was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that his hand was still resting on Sam’s shoulder. He quickly pulled away; maybe too quickly. “I’ll see you later, Sam.”

Sam gave him a short wave as he went out the door, jogging lightly down the porch steps.

Dean glanced around; looking for a car, Luke guessed. “Where’s the car?” Yep, he was right. 

“In Benny’s garage, as usual,” Luke informed him, turning right at the end of their fence and going down the neighbor’s driveway.

“Woah, wait, you’re gonna steal your neighbor’s car?” 

Luke shrugged. “We do it all the time; he doesn’t often care.” He tugged open the garage doors and slid inside, snatching the keys off the hook on the wall. “He doesn’t exactly make it hard for us.”

He pulled open the driver’s seat and settled himself in, grinning at Dean’s face as he shouldered his way into the passenger’s side. “This is so illegal.”

Luke laughed. “Oh come on, Deano. Live a little.” He pushed the key into the ignition and the engine roared to life.

Just as they were pulling out of the driveway, Luke heard Benny’s loud southern drawl yell after them from out of a window, “FUCKIN’ MILTON! AGAIN?!”

“SORRY!” Luke yelled back with a laugh, and with a screech of the tires they were speeding off down the road.

Dean was grinning as he clipped in his seatbelt. “You’re mental." 

“I’ve been told that, yeah.”

“So, are you the one that managed to convince Sammy to finally pull the stick out of his ass?”

Luke raised his eyebrows, not taking his eyes off the road. “Excuse me?”

Dean sighed, relaxing into the seat. “He used to be so uptight, you know? Always has been. But he seems a lot more relaxed now, from what I’ve seen of him. I gotta say, it’s nice to see him chilled out. He was _such_ a tightass before. Drove me crazy. ‘No Dean, we can’t sneak into this R-rated movie, I’m only fourteen’. It was like having another parent.” 

Luke grinned. “Well, what can I say? Living in a house where a 25-year-old is the reigning patriarch and six other kids roam free can force a guy to loosen up a little.”

Dean laughed. “I’ll say.” He fiddled around with one of the dials on the radio. “So what are the other kids like? Cas told me a bit, like their names and stuff, and I met a few of them before, but I don’t really know them.” 

Luke smiled slightly. “They’re all great kids,” he said with a nod. “Naomi’s really smart, top of her class in practically everythin’. Gabriel’s really good at baseball- among other slightly more useful talents. And Anna’s just the sweetest thing; nobody has a bad word to say about her. Alfie’s like a secret genius; he doesn’t say much, but when he does it’s either really profound or totally hilarious. And I literally couldn’t ask for a more perfect baby than Ruby; she hardly ever cries, she smiles all the time, and just generally makes my day ten times better.” He smiled to himself. “They’re all great.”

Dean was watching him with a grin. “It’s really nice, how you talk about them,” he said after a minute. “You sound like a proud father.”

Luke shrugged, feeling his cheeks flush. “I kind of had to become one. The original was the full-frontal dickhead.”

"He sounds like it." Dean rolled the window down slightly to let some air in, and Luke felt his ears go a bit funny with the release of pressure. “It must be nice,” he added as an afterthought. “Having a proper family like that. Sometimes I wish Sammy and I had that.”

“We’ve kind of pretty much adopted Sam already,” Luke admitted, chancing a glance sideways at Dean. “So I guess by relation you’re already a part of one.”

Dean grinned. “That’s a nice thought.”

“Mm,” Luke agreed. 

They drove in silence for a little while, Luke tapping his fingers absently on the steering wheel as Dean hummed along to whatever song happened to come onto the radio, even if he didn’t know the words. 

“Do I smell like vanilla to you?”

Dean frowned. “What?”

“It’s just something someone keeps telling me and I’m curious. Do I smell like vanilla?”

Dean leaned forwards, hesitantly sniffing. “No,” he decided after a few seconds. “Smoke yes, vanilla no.” 

“Oh, right. Okay.”

“Why, should you be smelling like vanilla? Is it a cologne or something?”

“Nah, I don’t wear that fancy shit.”

“Fair enough.”

“So what led you to join the military?” Luke asked, in an attempt at breaking the weird silence he’d created. “I mean, it’s a pretty out-there career, you know?”

“That’s what Sammy said,” Dean said with a nod. “He didn’t want me to go. And I don’t know, I guess I just figured that with the shit I’m good at it didn’t leave much of a choice range in career path.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense. It’s the same with me.” 

“I can imagine. Hit man, right?” 

Luke didn’t even try to correct him. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

“Can I just ask, how come Sammy ended up staying with you guys? Instead of, like, booking into a hotel or something like he usually does. And, not judging or anything, but don’t you kind of have enough on your plate as it is?”

Luke picked absently at a loose string of his sleeve. “Cas and I were walking home one night and he was lying passed out on the sidewalk,” he recounted. “He looked pretty beat up. Cas convinced me to take him home; I swear that kid’s heart is bigger than his head.”

Dean grinned. “Aww. He made you adopt a puppy.”

Luke laughed. “I guess. But Sam’s not so bad to have around. He uses up all the hot water pretty regularly, but he pays his share of the rent, and he’s good company. I don’t think any of us would mind if he decided to stick around.” 

Luke felt Dean’s eyes on him. “Do you like him?” 

Luke raised an eyebrow. “Sorry?”

“You know. Do you like him?” 

“Sure, he’s-“ 

“No, I mean, do you _like_ him like him.” 

Luke smirked in an attempt to disguise what he hoped wasn’t an obvious betrayal on his facial expression’s behalf. “What am I, a teenage girl?”

Dean made a non-committal grunting sound. “You might as well be, you’re gay and twenty five.”

Luke frowned slightly without taking his eyes off the road. “How’d you know I’m gay?”

“I’ve got a pretty strong gaydar, dude, sorry. And our conversation in the kitchen pretty much gave it away. That, and the fact that you clearly wanna bone my brother, or you’ve at least considered it. And if you do, and you hurt him in any way, I will hunt your sorry ass down and burn you into ash.”

“Hey,” Luke said indignantly, taking one hand off the steering wheel to punch the irritating passenger’s arm. “If anyone should be giving the protective big brother speech here, it’s me, okay? _You’re_ the one creating really high levels of unresolved sexual tension in _my_ house. Jesus Christ, dude, he clearly likes you back, just fucking make a move already.”

Dean huffed. “Who?” He demanded, and oh, as if he didn’t know.

“ _Cas_ , you dipshit; Cas,” Luke sighed in frustration. “Do you guys have history or something, because I can practically _smell_ the gay in the air when you two are together.”

Luke didn’t even have to look at Dean to know that his cheeks were scarlet. “We never talked about it,” he admitted after a moment. “But yeah, I guess we kind of do.”

“I knew it. Sam owes me five bucks.”

“Seriously?”

“No, but he was pretty drunk last night so I could probably convince him that he does.”

Dean smirked, and the corner of Luke’s lip twitched up in a slight smile. “Does Sam know?”

“Know what, about you and Cas? Not gonna lie to you, Dean, your boyfriend might as well wear a neon sign on his forehead that spells out “I LOVE DEAN WINCHESTER” in flashing lights at all hours of the day. Actually, he might as well just throw a fucking ‘I’m homo for you’ parade. So yeah, I’m pretty sure Sam knows.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “No, dumbass. I meant does Sam know you like him.”

Luke groaned. “Oh for god’s sake, not this again.”

“Really!” Dean insisted, twisting in his seat to face Luke. “Come on, at least humor me. I’m not thick, and I’m not blind, so you might as well just be a man and own up to the truth: you have a gay thing for my teenage brother.”

“ _You_ have a gay thing for mine!”

“Stop making this about me! You’re older and my brother’s younger!”

“He’s mature for his age!”  
  
“AH! So you admit it!”

Luke flushed scarlet. “I did no such thing!”

Dean grinned, victoriously punching the air in his seat. “I KNEW it.”

“Fuck off,” Luke found himself practically begging. “And he can’t know, okay? He’d find it weird, and he’d try to be all polite about it because that’s just how he is, and that would actually be worse than flat-out rejection so just don’t mention it to him. It’d be inappropriate anyways.”

Dean stared at him incredulously. “Are you serious?”

Luke blinked in confusion. “Yes of course I’m serious, why?”

Dean shook his head. “Man, you’re an idiot. Isn’t it obvious that Sam- _JESUS CHRIST_!”

The BMW going the wrong way down the interstate that Luke had just been about to drive straight into swerved out of the way at the last minute.

It sped past with its horn blaring, just scraping the right side wing mirror and causing Luke to swear loudly and twist the wheel so violently to the left that he only just managed to regain control of the car before he would’ve driven straight into the ditch on the side of the road.

“Fuck,” he gasped, clutching the wheel tightly. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. “God fucking dammit that was close.” 

Dean was gripping the side of his seat with a genuinely petrified expression on his face. He swallowed visibly.

There was a moment of silence while both of them processed what had just happened, before Dean spoke up.

“On the way back, I’m driving,” he said primly, and Luke took one look at the expression on his face before he burst out laughing.


	8. Daddy Dearest

 “So now Dean’s here, does that mean you’re gonna leave?” Anna asked Sam the next morning as he passed her the cornflakes. “Because we don’t want you to go, do we Gabriel?” 

“I don’t really care,” Gabriel said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I never liked Sam that much anyways."

Sam grinned, lightly punching the boy’s shoulder. “Look, guys, there’s just not enough room for the _both_ of us to sleep on your couch, and even if there was it would be pretty weird and we'd just be in the way. I’ll still be hanging around for a week or two before I go back to school, I just won’t be sleeping here. I’ll be in a hotel or something. That cool?” 

Anna was frowning into her cereal. “I guess.”

Cas chuckled from his place beside Dean at the other end of the table, giving Sam a small wink. “Come on, Anna, you gotta get dressed. You too Gabriel. Baseball practice is in half an hour, and we gotta walk there because Benny’s finally put a goddamn lock on his garage door. Guess he’s had enough of Luke stealing the car.”

Anna shoved one last spoonful of cornflakes into her mouth before skipping after Gabriel up the stairs, who had left the table a few seconds earlier.

“They’ll miss you, Sam,” Cas said with a smile, looking up at him. 

Sam smiled back. 

“You’ve become a sort of permanent fixture around here. I gotta say, it’ll be weird when you go.”

“Who’d have thought it,” Dean teased over his coffee. “Sammy has a fan club.”

“Shut up,” Sam laughed, throwing a balled-up paper towel at him, which missed by at least a foot. Sam blinked, knowing exactly what kind of ammunition he’d just handed to Dean on a silver fucking platter. 

Luckily for him, Dean just smirked.

Sam didn’t even have to look up from his toast to know that Luke was grinning.

The guy hadn’t said a word all morning, which was unlike him, but Sam guessed he was just tired. Ruby had been particularly restless last night, and from his place squeezed onto the corner of the couch with Dean he could hear Luke swear none too quietly every time she started crying again, and then the creaking of the floorboards from his footsteps. In any case, he hadn’t seemed to get a whole lot of sleep. 

He had dark circles under his eyes, and he almost seemed to radiate a lazy, tired heat, which made everyone who got within six feet of him exhausted. Which was why he was sitting alone at the other end of the table.

“What?” Sam demanded with a grin. ”What’s so funny?”

“You,” Luke hummed with a lazy smile, raising his ginormous mug of coffee to his lips. “It’s just sweet how you’ve managed to shove your freakishly tall self into our lives so easily.”

Sam tried not to read too much into Luke’s use of the word ‘our’, without much success. 

“You look exhausted,” Dean deadpanned, staring at Luke. “Did you get _any_ sleep last night?”

“Forty five minutes in total, give or take,” Luke sighed, pulling his glasses off and rubbing at his eyes. “I feel like garbage.”

“Damn,” Dean whistled. “Go take a fucking nap or something.”

“Can’t,” Luke yawned.

Castiel raised his eyebrows. “Why not? You're not working in broad daylight now, are you?”

“Not just yet. No, I’ve just decided that asking two grown dudes to share a couch to sleep on, related or not, is just not cool. I’m taking those two clowns to talk some sense into their father. Don’t waste money on a fucking hotel, Winchester.”

It was unclear which Winchester Luke was actually talking to.

“What?” Sam and Dean answered in confusion at the same time, solving the problem.

“You deserve to stay in your own fucking house. Grow a pair, the both of you. We’re going to get your house back.”

“That’s probably not such a good idea,” Sam started to say, before Dean interrupted him:

“No, Sammy, he’s right,” Dean spoke over him. “We can’t both sleep on the couch here, and Luke’s right, we don’t have enough cash to spend on a hotel. We should just go talk to Dad, or kick him out or something, so we can stay in our own damn house. We practically paid the mortgage off anyways.”

Sam chewed nervously on his lip. The idea of being in a confined space with his often wasted father didn’t exactly make him shiver with excitement. “I dunno, Dean…” 

Cas too seemed about to object, but Luke cut him off before he could even start.

“Sam, trust me. I’ve got a plan. It’ll work.” The sharp blue eyes met Sam’s, and for a minute the air was knocked straight out of his chest, because _wow_ , even as tired and bleary-eyed as he was there was still a certain something in them that seemed to throw out electricity.

He finally managed to tear his own eyes away, chewing his lip as he glanced sideways at his brother.

Dean was staring at him expectantly.

When he turned questioningly to Cas, the older teenager just shrugged. “It’s your house, Sam. Your choice.”

In that case;

“Okay,” Sam sighed finally in resignation, and Dean clapped his hands together with a grin.

“Okay,” Luke repeated, grinning widely. “I’ll go get dressed.” He stood up, and that was when Sam noticed that all he was sporting was a towel wrapped around his waist. 

Sam immediately looked away, cheeks reddening, and as Luke swaggered past him he could feel the blond man’s smirk.

 

 

*

 

 

“Don’t take that side road, it’s a lot faster if you take the second left down here.”

“Luke, it’s my fucking house, I know which way is best-“

“Trust me, the other way’s faster!”

“But-“

“ _Sam_!” 

Sam let out a loud, exasperated groan, flicking off the indicators at the last second and swerving to rejoin the steady line of cars. “For fuck’s sake, Luke!”

“Ladies,” Dean interrupted from the back seat. “If you’re going to have a domestic-“

“Shut up,” Sam and Luke ordered at the same time. 

Sam carried on talking. “That’s, like, the fourth fucking time you’ve told me what to do and _I’m_ fucking driving! I swear to god if you make _one more comment_ -”

Luke frowned from the passenger’s side. “Well it’s not my fault that _you_ keep making terrible decisions. I figure that I’m in a perfect position to make these decisions for you.” 

Sam managed, somehow, to lace his laugh with intense sarcasm as he replied, “You _asked_ me to drive, remember? So let me fucking drive!”

Luke let his arms fall in exasperation down to his sides. “I only asked because you know the way! I didn’t realize that your driving was this crap, I never would’ve done it had I known-“

“HEY!”

“Take a left here- Fucking hell, Sam, INDICATE!” He snatched out and grabbed Sam’s wrist.

“JESUS! Get your hands off the fucking wheel or I’ll crash the damn car!” Sam wrestled to push Luke away, elbowing him in the side.

“OW!”

“Son of a bitch,” Dean was groaning as he covered his face with his hands.

“Great job, asshole, now you’ve missed the turning,” Luke complained as he slid over to his own side, folding his arms across his chest as if none of this was his fault. “I _told_ you-“

Sam growled in frustration and swerved the car up onto the sidewalk, slamming on the breaks. The car skidded to a violent stop, and Sam heard a loud ‘oof’ as Dean smacked his head into the back of Luke’s seat.

“Fucking _hell_! I give up! You know what?! Why don’t YOU just drive!”

“Guys,” Dean was snapping in the background, “This is seriously ridiculous-“

“Fine!” Luke shot back, getting out of the car and slamming the passenger door shut behind him.

Sam followed suite, and in a few seconds the pair had swapped places.

“You are the WORST backseat driver I have EVER met,” Sam was complaining angrily as Luke settled into the driver’s seat. “I mean, SERIOUSLY dude, SERIOUSLY.”

“Dean, where are we going?” Luke asked loudly over Sam's lecture, pointedly ignoring his cold glare.

Dean sighed, shaking his head and holding his hands up in surrender. “Sorry dude, I’m not getting involved.” 

“See?” Sam snapped, folding his arms. “Now we can’t go anywhere, because you had to be a snarky asshole-“

“Give me directions,” Luke growled at him as he spun around to face Sam, pale blue eyes icily fixed on his, “Or we go nowhere. And it’s your loss, really. Because I don't give a shit if you have to sleep on the street.”

Sam glared back, silent.

No way was he giving in, not this time. If there was one thing that really pissed him off, it was bossy passenger seat drivers.

Shame that Luke was one of them.

The two sat there glaring at each other for quite a while before Dean finally interrupted and exasperatedly recited the address.

“Thank you,” Luke said primly, ignoring Sam’s irritated noise, and the car rejoined the traffic.

"Fuck you, Dean."

"Shut it Sammy." 

When they finally arrived at John’s house, the first thing they noticed was that their father was definitely home.

All the lights were on in the kitchen despite the fact that it was the middle of the day, and John’s beaten-up old Chevy Impala was parked messily in the driveway. 

Sam spun around in his seat to glance at Dean, who gave him a double thumbs-up. “It’ll be fine, Sammy,” he said in his reassuring tone. “Honest. That son of a bitch is gonna give us this house if we have to force it out of him. Or at least, he’ll let us stay here.”

“Force it out of him?” Sam hoped he didn’t sound quite as dubious about that as he felt.

“That’s always an option,” Luke muttered under his breath as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and hopped out of the car. “After all, I’ve got a bat in the trunk.”

Sam’s eyes could’ve popped out of his head.

“What was that? Did you just say you had a bat?” He almost fell out of the car as he scrambled after Luke. “Why?!”

Luke shrugged as he popped open the trunk and pulled out a heavy metal baseball bat. “This is what I do, Sam. Convincing people is my job. Bats are pretty fucking convincing.” 

Sam turned to stare incredulously at Dean.

Dean just shrugged. “Whatever, Sam, it works for me. Come on, let’s go find Daddy Winchester.”

Luke smirked at Sam, flicking his eyebrows up once. “Let’s go get you boys a house.”

He flipped the bat up into the air so it did a full 360-degree turn before catching it smoothly by the handle and leaning it against his shoulder. He clapped Sam hard on the shoulder before striding towards the house, leaving Sam and Dean to stare after him for a few brief seconds.

Dean was the next to go, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Sam hesitated for a few seconds longer before letting out a whine of frustration and jogging to catch up with his brother. 

As much as he wanted the house back, he wasn’t really on board with the whole beat-up-Dad thing, even if Dean seemed to be. And he was also frustrated with the fact that seeing Luke with his hair all stuck up, shirt sticking to his back with sweat and a metal baseball bat over his shoulder was a lot more attractive to him than it should have been. 

Fuck it. Sam just wanted to get it over with.

By the time he and Dean had reached the front porch with the rotting porch swing, Luke had already hammered his fist down three times on the door and was leaning calmly against the doorframe. His presence somehow took up the whole entrance, and Sam could imagine how intimidating it would be to open your front door at 10:00 at night and find this sketchy, attractive dude from the south side standing on your porch with a baseball bat.

He figured anyone would just hand over the money without any questions.

 _He_ sure would.

Before Sam could consider this any more the door was flung open and John was standing there, blocked in the doorway by the barricade that was Luke’s body.

“Afternoon,” Luke said calmly.

John’s eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn’t shaved, showered or even changed his clothes in weeks. He stared in confusion at Luke for a second, before catching sight of Sam and Dean standing a few feet behind him.

He let out a growl and made a start towards them, but Luke shoved him forcefully back into the house with the end of the bat and forced his way inside.

Dean and Sam quickly followed, slamming the door shut behind them.

“Right boys, say what you gotta say,” Luke said in a singsong voice as he swung the bat from hand to hand, eyeing John hungrily, like a predator watching its prey.

“We want the house back, dad,” Dean demanded as Luke forced John to stay a good three feet away from him. “You fucked off to god knows where, and we live here now. It’s our place.”

“I paid for it,” John slurred, eyes fixed on Sam. Sam swallowed. 

Dean clearly didn't think it was worthwhile to contest that fact. “We’ll buy it off you then,” he shot back.

Sam frowned at him. “We will? He said under his breath.

“No,” Dean muttered back. “But he’s drunk and won’t remember this conversation.”

Sam shrugged. It was a fair point.

“No,” John spat, narrowing his eyes slowly at Sam. “It’s my goddamn house.” 

“Pity,” Luke sighed, starting towards him with the bat raised above his head.

John quickly raised his arms up in surrender. “WAIT! Wait.” 

Dean was glaring now, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “Luke, could you give us a minute, if that’s okay?” 

Sam’s mouth formed a tight line. “Is that a good idea?” He hissed at Dean, who waved his comment away. 

Luke hesitated, his eyes meeting Sam’s for just a second. Sam gave him a small nod; he hoped to hell that Dean knew what he was doing.

Luke’s face collapsed into frustrated resignation as he let the bat fall to his sides. “I’ll be on the porch,” he muttered, leaving the room.

Sam heard the front door click shut behind him. 

“Dad,” Dean started, but their father cut him off. 

“When did you get home?”

Dean frowned. “Two days ago, why do you care?”

A small crease formed in the middle of John’s forehead. “Because you’re my son.”

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, and you’re one hell of a father.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, boy!” John roared, making a start towards Sam, who quickly leapt backwards.

Dean shoved himself into John’s chest and forced him backwards, glaring hard now. “Don’t you dare,” he warned in a low voice. “Don’t you dare touch him.” 

“He was selfish! He abandoned you!” John was yelling, “He abandoned _us_!”

“ _YOU_ abandoned us!” Dean shouted back, and Sam felt a prickling feeling in his eye. And no, crying wasn’t cool, he couldn’t do that, he was almost nineteen- 

“YOU’RE the one that ran off to fuck knows where when you discovered Sammy wanted to go to college, NOT him! YOU made me work four jobs to get him through school, YOU dragged us from state to state while you looked for a job that wouldn’t require you to provide any references, and YOU’RE the reason both your sons got as far as fucking possible away from you before they even hit 21!”

Dean was properly screaming at him now, and Sam slowly covered his mouth with his hand. He didn’t think he’d ever seen his brother this angry before. 

“That’s on _YOU_ , Dad! All of it! All of this total bullshit, it’s on _you_ ,” Dean spat, giving their father a dirty look. “Don’t you dare fucking touch Sammy, or me, because I swear to god Dad I will come back tomorrow and unload a fucking _rifle_ into your face.”

John was staring gravely at Dean, not even seeming to understand what was being said to him. His gaze slowly slid over to Sam. “And you?” He demanded. “What do you think?” 

“Let us have the house,” Sam managed, throat dry as he spoke. “You don’t need it. You never stay for long anyway.”

“And if I say no?” He took a step forwards.

Dean’s gaze hardened. “Remember what I said about a rifle?” 

John smirked. “Oh come on, Dean, you wouldn’t shoot your old man.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “You want to try me?”

“I might.”

“You beat Sammy up so bad he didn’t even want to come back here,” Dean said in a low voice, and Sam felt a twinge of humiliation.

He had been weak, and Dean knew it.

“We need a fucking house, Dad, and we’re gonna get one. Don’t much care how. You know our friend, the one with the bat? He’s a hit man from the south side, so I promise that if you don’t get off our backs and let us stay in our own fucking house I will make damn sure that your world comes crashing down around you before you can even say ‘whoops’.” 

John was chewing on his lip, eyes still fixed in a glare. “You know, son, I always thought you and I saw eye to eye. I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah,” Dean said sarcastically, “I guess you were.”

“Well isn't this just such a pleasant family reunion. You come into _my_ home and threaten me unless I leave it. Sammy? Anything else to add?” John sneered.

“Yeah,” Sam added after a minute, his voice seeming to return to him. He took a deep breath, staring up and into his father’s charcoal-coloured eyes. “Shut the door on your way out.”

That had apparently been the last straw, because John practically launched himself on him, punching him hard in the gut, and the last thing he realized before Dean rugby-tackled their dad to the floor was that there had never been any chance of getting John to do what they wanted.

Not a fucking snowball’s chance. 

He rolled off the floor, breathing heavily through the pain and jumped at John as he tried to land another blow on Dean’s head.

“Leave him alone!” He yelled as he shoved John against the wooden bannister for the staircase.

“Sammy-“ Dean yelled in warning, but not fast enough for Sam to dodge the excruciatingly painful kick to Sam’s downstairs that left him weak at the knees.

He slowly sunk to the floor again, giving John enough time to punch him in the face before Dean could grab him in a headlock, wrestling him back and away from Sam.

Luke was back, shoving his way through the front door, seemingly muttering something under his breath.

Dean glanced up and, upon seeing him, let go of John, who lurched forwards and- _smack_ , Luke swung the baseball bat hard into his lower jaw.

There was a spray of blood and a loud shout, and John collapsed on the floor with a loud thud.

Tears of pain swimming in his eyes Sam slowly got to his feet and staggered over to Dean, grabbing his arm for support. “Is he dead?” He managed, crossing his legs as he stood to try and lessen the pain slightly.

“No, just unconscious,” Luke said plainly, scratching the back of his head. “But I broke his jaw pretty bad, we should take him to a very far away hospital and leave him there.”

Dean shrugged, wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve and clapping Sam on the back as he managed to right himself, the pain finally fading. “Sounds good to me.” 

“Thanks,” Sam said to Luke. “For, you know, smacking our dad in the face with a bat.”

Luke shrugged. “It’s what I’m here for. I think.”

He crouched down and grabbed John’s arms. “Dean, or Sam, if one of you could grab his legs-“

The brothers grabbed one each, and together they managed to haul their unconscious father out into the yard and shove him into the trunk of Benny’s car.

“Where to?” Dean sighed as he strapped in to the driver’s seat and started the engine, glancing at Sam in the passenger’s side. 

Sam looked to Luke in the mirror, who shrugged in his place from the back.

“What’s the nearest boarder?”

“South Carolina, I think. Won’t be more than a two hour’s drive, we’re pretty close.”

“Cool, let’s take him there. Cas can watch the kids until we get back, it’s still early.”

“Should we take him to a hospital?” Sam questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Dean seemed to consider it for a moment.

“Nah,” he said after a few seconds. “He’s probably fine. He’ll find his way back eventually, but hopefully he’ll have enough sense to not come back here.”

Luke clapped him on the shoulder from behind. “Good man.” 

"If we get caught, we're going to be arrested," Sam pointed out.

Luke shrugged. "Then let's try not to get caught."

Sam chuckled, clipping in his seatbelt as Dean pulled out of the driveway.

He was glad that the problem had been dealt with- mostly dealt with, anyway- but he couldn’t help but feel seriously guilty. He hadn’t done anything useful. Dean had done the yelling, the majority of the fighting, and the saving-of-Sam’s-ass. Sam had said three sentences and forced their father into rage-mode.

He’d been all but useless.

 

*

 

In the end, they had settled on leaving John on a bench in a park somewhere in western South Carolina. Luckily nobody had seen them carrying his body, or that would’ve raised some particularly uncomfortable questions that none of them wanted to answer.

It took them even longer to get home after that because Luke kept making snide comments about Dean’s driving from the back seat, and Dean, who was handling it even worse than Sam, just gripped the wheel harder and slowed down, knowing it would annoy the man in the back.

They did finally get back to John’s house, however, and while Luke made a quick phone call to Cas on the landline to explain everything, Sam and Dean took a look around.

It was pretty much exactly the same as it had been when they had both last been there.

The same faded photographs hung on the walls, the same run-down furniture littered the house.

“It’s not too bad,” Dean admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I was expecting, you know, carnage. Thought he might’ve destroyed the place.”

“I know what you mean,” Sam agreed as he ran a finger along a cabinet and frowned in distaste at the sheer volume of the dust that came away.

“We can stay here for at least a few days, now,” Dean said with a slight grin. “Maybe longer, if John knows what’s good for him-“ 

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Sam blurted out, unable to stop himself. “I’m sorry I provoked John into starting a fight, and I’m sorry I let him take this place back in the first place, and-“

“Sam,” Dean said with a blank look. “Shut the fuck up. This is not your fault.”

“I know,” Sam sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “I know it’s not my fault, but I could’ve done a bit more to help, at least.” 

Dean gave him a strange look. “Sammy. You’re only 18. You’re still a kid. Jesus Christ, you can’t expect to be an adult already. I mean you’ve always been mature for your age but the line has to be drawn somewhere, you know? You did your best, and you helped us get our fucking house back. Feel good about that, you know?”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed with another sigh. “Sure.”

Luke practically skipped into the room, swinging an arm around Sam’s shoulders. “So,” he said happily, “Gabriel managed to rustle up some hamburgers for dinner; he stole them from the cafeteria at school, the little shit.”

Dean laughed, and Luke continued with a wide grin, leaning into Sam’s side. “Come on, Sammy, what’s the matter with you? Don’t you want burgers?!”

Sam tried not to redden as Luke’s eyes fixed curiously on his own. “I do,” he assured him. “Let’s go.”

“I just need to take a piss first,” Dean called behind him as he jogged out of the room to where Sam knew the bathroom was.

As soon as he was out of sight Luke was frowning. “What’s eating you, Sam? You look… Not so pleased, considering we just got you a house.”

Sam sighed. “Nothing, man, it doesn’t matter.” 

“Yeah,” Luke interrupted, brow furrowing. “It does.”

Sam bit the inside of his cheek, hesitating for a moment before responding. “I just feel pretty useless, okay? I didn’t exactly help out today.” 

Luke just grinned. “Aw come on, you don’t mean that. We couldn’t have lifted the body without you.”

Sam had to smile at that. “Okay, but-“ 

“Nope,” Luke said happily. “No buts. I’m proud of you, Sam. You stood up to your dad today. I mean sure, you may have done it quietly and somewhat vicariously, but you did it. And by helping me knock him out and abandon him in a different state, you committed your very first felony. You did good today, kid.”

Sam was grinning at the floor as he pulled out of Luke’s arm. “Okay,” he half laughed, “Okay.”

“There, see?” Luke laughed. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Come on, we’ll go wait in the car.”

He leaned forwards, lightly kissing Sam’s cheek as if it was the most normal thing in the world, before he froze, eyes narrowing and then widening, as if he hadn’t completely intended to do what he just did.

There was a silence.

Sam’s heart practically leapt into his throat, and he found himself momentarily unable to move. He felt a deep blush spread across his cheeks, and opened his mouth to speak, except no words were coming out.

“Sorry,” Luke managed after a moment, and Sam could hear the combination of confusion and embarrassment in his tone. “I… Sorry.” 

He turned to walk away, and without really realizing what he was doing Sam reached out and grabbed his arm, voice finally returning to him.

“Hey,” he said quickly, “Hold on-“

“We set to go?” Dean called loudly as he reentered the room, and Sam quickly let Luke’s arm drop out of his grip.

“Yep,” Luke said easily, staring at Sam for a split second longer before turning on his heel and striding out of the door. “I’m driving.”

Luke had kissed him.

Sure, it had been on the cheek, but it had happened. It had definitely, definitely happened. That had to mean something, right? So there was a chance, a small one, that whatever weird feelings Sam had for Luke were reciprocated, surely? 

“You’re driving. Sure.” Sam cleared his throat, quickly turning away and following Luke out the door.

Dean frowned as he jogged to catch up with his brother. “Everything okay, Sammy?”

“Yeah,” Sam said quickly. Maybe a little _too_ quickly. “Everything’s… Everything’s good.”

"So listen," Dean carried on as he threw an arm around Sam's shoulders, either not noticing or caring that Sam's mind was otherwise occupied. "Do you think dad would let me have his car? The impala? I mean, he always said I could have her eventually, and she's in pretty bad shape, and she's just sitting there in the driveway-"

As if to prove his point, Dean jabbed a finger in the car's direction;

"-And I figure if-"

"Sure," Sam interrupted absent-mindedly. He couldn't care less about the damn car at the moment. "Whatever, Dean. Take the car."

Dean smiled so widely it looked like his face was about to split in half. "Awesome," he grinned, clapping Sam once, hard, on the back before jogging over to the Chevvy parked in front of the porch.

"He looks happy," came Luke's voice, and Sam turned around to find the older man standing a few feet behind him, arms folded loosely across his chest. He was very definitely not making eye contact with Sam.

"He is," was all Sam was able to say. 

"Mm," Luke agreed, and just as Sam opened his mouth to say something else he walked away, over to Dean and the Impala, immediately striking up a conversation Sam couldn't make out at his distance.

Luke had kissed him.

There was something there.

He could tell.

 


	9. The Beach Boys

Sam was getting used to living with his brother again. In fact, he was kind of enjoying it.

Sure, every morning he’d go downstairs to an empty coffee pot and a half-eaten bowl of cereal left abandoned on the table that Sam had to clear up, but it could be worse. And yeah, maybe sometimes Dean forgot to lock the front door properly, or put the cap on the toothpaste, or hang the towels up to dry after he’d had a shower, but there were worse things, and it was nice to sleep in a proper bed for once.

That being said, it wasn’t like Sam didn’t miss staying with the Miltons. 

He’d become used to the business of the place; the omnipresent bickering of kids paired with Luke’s constant smoking and Castiel’s eternal expression of weariness. 

It was weird to not wake up in the morning to the sound of Ruby crying and Gabriel swearing at her to shut up. He missed the atmosphere in the evenings, when everyone would gather around the shitty TV to watch a movie, or to play cards, or for Luke to read the younger kids another chapter of the fifth Harry Potter book, because that one was their favorite. 

But in fairness, Sam was there a lot of the time anyway during the day. After work he usually went back to their place, partly because it was closer, and partly because he missed it. Dean was usually already there, hanging out and playing X-Box with Cas.

As soon as Sam would enter the door he’d be verbally assaulted with a chorus of ‘hello’s from various children; the most enthusiastic of which was normally Anna, bless her, who according to Luke had taken Sam’s departure kind of harder than everyone else. She grew attached pretty easily.

There had been no word from John.

It had been just over four days since they’d left him on a bench in the next state over. Sam wasn’t even sure he had even made it out of South Carolina; not that he was particularly concerned.

In fact, Dean seemed to be even _less_ concerned than he did; hell, the guy was practically celebrating. He’d already fixed up John’s old Chevvy Impala, and seemed to be taking every opportunity possible to drive it around.

Eventually even Sam had to admit, it was a seriously nice car.

A seriously nice car that Dean had taken out for the morning to run an errand, so Sam was stuck at home by himself, with no means to get to the Miltons’ house.

Which he definitely didn’t want to do solely because he wanted to see Luke.

Definitely not.

After Luke’s kiss on the cheek the pair had barely spoken, and Sam noticed that this was becoming a bit of a routine. They made some kind of slight change in their relationship and then Luke didn’t speak to him for a week. 

Though it wasn’t really Luke’s fault. He had seemed to be genuinely busy the entire time Sam had been over to their house. He was always rushing around making dinners, or out working, and when he had some time to himself he usually collapsed on the couch and took a nap.

Nonetheless. Sam made a vow to himself to bring it up the next time they had the chance, even if it meant he had to wake the poor guy up to do it.

A _vow_. 

He could _not_ back out. He had to talk to him.

But, unfortunately, it seemed that today would not be that day. Dean was gone when he woke up a few hours ago, so Sam had absolutely no idea what time his brother would be back, meaning he would be at home alone indefinitely.

It sucked, really, because it was actually a really nice day.

It was warm, and sunny, and the sky was so blue Sam could swear it was the identical electric shade of Castiel’s weirdly bright eyes. He’d love nothing more than to be able to go and sit in the deck chair on the Miltons’ porch and read a book or something, but no, he was stuck here, by himself, inside because he didn’t feel safe going out even as far as the yard alone because he didn’t know where John was and whether he’d be out for revenge or not. 

So, with nothing better to do and no specific plans for the day, Sam settled down on the couch and prepared to marathon Days of Our Lives with lack of anything better to watch. Not that he’d ever admit it but the show kind of intrigued him, mostly because one of the actors looked a _lot_ like Dean.

He was halfway through his third episode in a row when there was a loud knock at the door.

Sam assumed it was Dean. He’d probably forgotten his key and locked himself out again. But when he opened the door, he realized that it wasn’t actually Dean, but;

“Anna?”

The tiny girl with red hair flung herself at Sam and hugged him tightly around his waist. The sheer force of her hug actually forced him back a few steps, but he grinned anyway and hugged her tightly back. “What’re you doing here, kiddo?” 

“We’re going to the beach,” Luke said, and holy shit Sam hadn’t even noticed him there.

He was standing at the foot of the porch with his hands in his jean pockets, and he was wearing an arguably too tight plain black t-shirt. He even had on the fucking glasses.

“And?” Sam pressed, frowning slightly in confusion.

“We want you to come with us,” Anna said happily as she looked up at him. “Like a family trip.”

Sam grinned. “Really? And I’m invited?”

Anna nodded vehemently. 

“Are all of you guys going?”

“Yeah! We’ve just gotta go home and pick up everyone else and then we’re going straight to the beach. It’ll be fun! Please come, Saaaam…”

“Well that’s really sweet of you Anna, but Dean isn’t home yet and-“

“Oh, he’s at ours.”

Sam blinked up at Luke. “Huh?" 

Luke shrugged. “I said he’s at ours. He’s been playing X-Box with Cas all morning.”

“Un fucking believable,” Sam sighed, rubbing his face with one hand. “I’ve been stranded in the god damn house because of him.”

Luke was grinning as he steered Anna off the porch by her shoulders. “Grab a swimsuit and get in the car,” he called over his shoulder, winking at Sam. “Or we’ll drive off without you.”

Sam grinned as he jogged back into the house and shoved everything he guessed he’d need into a backpack.

By the time he got in the front seat of the car beside Luke the engine was already running, and the man in the drivers seat was tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. 

“You took your time,” Luke smirked almost teasingly as they pulled out of the driveway, not actually looking at Sam.

“Well it was a pretty last-minute invitation,” Sam chuckled.

“I’m glad you’re coming,” Anna piped up from the back.

Sam turned around in his seat to grin at her. “Like I’d pass up the opportunity to spend a day with the best eleven-year-old ever.”

Luke snorted. “She wishes.”

Anna held her head high, staring haughtily at Luke. “It wouldn’t kill you to be nice to me for once, would it?”

“Yeah Luke,” Sam was laughing, “Would it?”

“Might do,” Luke said in a jokingly serious tone, grinning at Anna in the mirror. “I wouldn’t want to risk it, Carrot Top.”

“You’re a piece of crap.”

“That’s really rude,” Luke said loudly over Sam’s uncontrolled laughter. 

 

*

 

An hour later, the combined forces of the entire Milton family and the Winchester brothers were piling out of Luke’s stolen car and sloppily making their way down through the sand dunes to the beach.

At this point, there was absolutely no denying that something less-than-platonic was going on between Dean and Cas. 

Sam was walking at the back of the parade-like line they had formed, carrying a foldaway chair in one arm and a bag full of towels in the other. In front of him, his brother and Castiel were play-fighting like children, teasingly tripping each other up and then lightly shoving each other out of the way, laughing loudly when the other tried to retaliate. 

“Sickening, isn’t it,” Luke sighed from beside Sam, where he was holding Ruby on his shoulders, more towels in his hands and a beach umbrella under one arm. “Kind of makes me want to lock them in the car and let them sort out their own damn situation.”

“Guess so,” Sam half agreed.

Gabriel and Alfie, who had run ahead with the two girls, came sprinting back into sight, both sporting wild-eyed grins.

“We found the perfect spot,” Gabriel managed breathlessly, snatching Luke’s arm and tugging him forwards. “Hurry up, Luke, come on!”

“I can only walk so fast with a kid on my back,” Luke complained loudly, but nonetheless he picked up the pace slightly, and Sam almost automatically copied him.

“It’s worth it,” Alfie promised. 

Luke grumbled, “It had better be,” as he shifted the umbrella slightly in his arms.

Turns out Alfie was right, and it was definitely worth it.

“Naomi found it,” Anna supplied from her seat on a flattish rock, smiling happily up at Luke and Sam.

“It’s pretty great,” Luke agreed as he dumped the stuff he was carrying onto the sand and lifted Ruby off his shoulders. “I’ll give you that.”

They were standing in a small, sectioned-off cove, surrounded on all sides by high rocks, except for a small narrow space they’d had to come through to get in. The water was shallow enough to paddle but just deep enough in places to swim properly, and it was so clear that you could see each grain of soft white sand at the bottom with perfect clarity.

It was kind of perfect.

Luke collapsed down into the sand and rolled over in the heat of it to lie on his front, practically purring. Ruby curled up by his feet with one of her dolls, making it walk in the sand as she giggled and dug into it with her tiny fist.

Gabriel and Alfie had already stripped off their t-shirts and ran into the water, splashing and shouting.

Cas and Dean were… Well, actually, Sam couldn’t see them. He glanced around curiously without much success. Oh well. They were probably fine. 

Naomi was lying neatly on her towel in a dark green bikini that Sam thought suited her really well, headphones in and eyes closed behind her large sunglasses.

Anna was trying her hardest to copy her big sister, but Sam could tell that she was growing restless and bored and would like nothing more than to join the boys in the sea.

“Hey Anna,” Sam called over to her. “Why don’t you go ahead and get in the water, and then we’ll play with the soccer ball or something when I get in in a minute?”

Anna grinned in relief and jumped to her feet, pulling off her sundress and charging into the soft waves.

“That was nice of you,” Luke said, voice muffled by the sand. He sat up and spun around, propping himself up on his elbows. There were grains of sand stuck to his face and shirt, but he seemed to ignore them. 

Sam smiled slightly as he dropped his stuff and picked up the beach umbrella, starting to dig a hole for it in the sand. “Might as well make myself useful.” 

He felt Luke watching him but didn’t turn around. Instead he glanced over at Naomi, who seemed to be very involved in her ipod and not listening to a word they were saying. Using the laughs and shouts of the children in the water as a cover he said,

“Look, Luke, we need to talk.”

Luke yawned, and ignored him, pulling his shirt over his head and using it as a pillow. He relaxed back into the sand and settled his entire weight into it.

Ruby leaned against his leg, staring curiously up at Sam.

Sam couldn’t take his eyes off Luke’s chest for a few seconds. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before; the guy walked around half naked a lot more than a father figure in a house of seven should, but there was something about the colour his skin turned in the sun, and the way the light threw certain muscles into definition that Sam hadn’t even noticed before. 

Sam cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away and finally managing to get the umbrella to stand up straight without him having to hold it. Ruby’s tiny body was thrown into shade, alongside half of Luke’s torso and most of his legs. 

The blond frowned up at Sam. “You’re blocking my sun.”

Sam frowned back. “It’s for Ruby. And you refused to wear sunscreen.”

“Alright, mom,” Luke snipped almost idly. “And Ruby’s got more sunscreen on than she has skin, she’ll be alright for a little while. I made sure of that.” 

Sam sighed. “I’m sure you did,” he agreed as he sat cross-legged down next to Luke, who was watching him from over the top of his sunglasses. 

“What do we need to talk about, Sam?”

“The other day.” Sam was regretting the promise he’d made to himself to bring it up as he noticed Luke’s shoulders tense ever so slightly. 

“Oh, that.” Luke let himself fall back into the sand, replacing his sunglasses to cover most of his face. “That was just a mistake. I’m used to dealing with kids and my siblings, you know, it was just a habit I’ve kind of gotten in to.” 

Sam eyed him carefully. “Right,” he said slowly after a moment. “Okay.”

Luke waved one arm idly. “Mm.”

That was when Sam heard Anna’s voice.

“SAM!” She half laughed, half shouted, beckoning to him from the sea. “Come on! I want to play catch!” 

And, well, who was he to deny her that?

Sam grinned as he tugged off his shirt and grabbed the soccer ball from out of the bag, feeling the sun beat down on his skin as he joined Anna in the water without any hesitation. It was actually a lot warmer than he’d been expecting. 

He dove in and remained under the water for a good few seconds, enjoying the total silence bar the sound of his own heart beating heavily in his ears before he emerged with a strong flick of his head, sending his hair to the side. 

“Right,” he grinned, looking up at the red-haired girl standing beside her brothers. “Where’s the ball?”

They had been playing for almost an entire hour before Cas and Dean finally showed up; Dean’s clothes were totally soaked and Cas looked very smug.

Sam waded out of the sea and went towards them, eyeing the pair with a suggestive grin. “What happened to you two, then?”

Dean laughed, giving Sam a friendly shove on the shoulder. “Cas pushed me into the sea with all my shit on.”

“He deserved it,” Cas chuckled softly, snatching a towel warmed by the sun from the top of the pile next to Ruby and throwing it to Dean, who caught it and immediately began to dry his face. “He was being arrogant.” 

“Isn’t he always?” Luke said, leisurely stretching out on the sand. 

“Fuck off,” Dean grinned.

Sam smirked mostly to himself as he watched Luke slowly sit up and fix the pink hat on Ruby’s head. “You gonna get in any time soon?”

“To the sea?” Luke shrugged. “Maybe.”

“You can’t just come to the beach and not go swimming, man, that’s just not okay.” 

“Mm.”

Cas had already stripped down to his swimming shorts and was heading towards the water, where Alfie was saying something to him about playing with the soccer ball.

Sam watched Dean's face go slightly slack-jawed as he watched Cas dive gracefully into the water, and he turned away with a smirk to address Luke, rolling his eyes slightly at his brother.

“So, have you ever come to this beach before?”

Luke shrugged again, adjusting his sunglasses on his nose. “I came here once or twice with Dad and a few times with Michael, but never this cove in particular. We usually went to a different side of the beach.” 

Sam looked curiously at him. “Michael?” 

Luke shook his head. “A colleague of mine.”

Sam felt a twinge of jealousy. “Just a colleague?”

Luke gave him a strange look from behind his sunglasses. “At present, yes.”

That was when Sam noticed Dean smirking at him from behind Naomi, towel flung around his neck. 

Sam shot him a sharp glare, and Dean just held his hands up in silent surrender, turning away.

“Hey Sam, I’ll offer you a deal.”

Sam quickly fixed his face into a more neutral expression, glancing back at Luke. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“If you can convince one of the kids to watch Ruby for half an hour without fucking up or doing something stupid, I’ll show you the coolest place on this beach. Even cooler than here.”

Sam grinned. “Challenge accepted.”

The challenge was harder than he had been expecting.

It actually took an entire half hour to convince Naomi to watch Ruby.

Sam was going to ask Cas or Dean, but the pair was already out in the water at the other end of the cove, trying to fake-drown each other.

They really were acting like children. It was almost sweet.

Almost.

But eventually Naomi had grown tired of Sam’s incessant nagging and agreed, and as she reluctantly pulled out her headphones and scooted closer to Ruby in the sand Sam managed to drag Luke to his feet.

“I didn’t think you’d manage it,” Luke admitted with a sigh as he ran a hand backwards through his hair. “At least, not for another hour or so.”

“Tough,” Sam grinned. “Come on, then. You have to show me this secret hiding place.”

Luke laughed, shoving Sam forwards by his shoulder in the direction they needed to go. 

“It’s hardly a hiding place. Come with me.” He ducked under the arch of rock that separated their cove from the rest of the beach. 

Sam followed.

They were out in the open now, and Sam could see other people were littering the beach for miles down the strip of bright white sand, coloured towels and umbrellas dancing in the heat rays of the strong midafternoon sun.

“Pay attention,” Luke half snapped as he took a sharp left and followed the seam of the rock into the sea, but Sam could tell by his tone that he wasn’t really mad at all. 

They were up to their waists in water then, still moving parallel with the rock face, and soon enough they were so deep that Luke couldn’t stand up and Sam could only just touch the bottom. 

“Where are we going?” Sam asked with raised eyebrows as he began to swim breaststroke alongside Luke, who had tiny droplets of water flecked on his sunglasses.

“A cave,” Luke said happily, pulling himself closer to the rock wall by their side, which was steadily growing smaller and smaller. “Through here.” He disappeared into a small crack in the face of the rock, just large enough for one or two people at a time to fit through, no more.

Sam followed him without question, and was surprised to find that he could stand up once inside.

The ‘inside’ in question was a small- _really_ small- hollow in the rock, in total about the size of an SUV. There were cracks and holes in the rock overhead and in the sides, so streams of light were able to penetrate the walls enough so that Sam could see everything almost perfectly.

“This is cool,” was all he could manage as he sat down- yeah, he could sit down; the water only went up to his knees in here, so when he sat the sea lapped at his waist but went no higher.

Luke grinned, slipping down into the water opposite him and running two wet hands through his blond hair, darkening the colour slightly. “Told you. Best spot on the beach.”

“How did you find this place?”

“A friend of mine took me here.”

Sam grinned. “Thought you didn’t have any friends.”

Luke smirked. “Very funny. And I had friends, once.”

Sam smiled slightly at the ground, digging his hands into the sand by his feet. It gave way easily at his touch, sliding around in his hands and forming little clouds of sand under the water, muddying the otherwise clear cave.

“It wasn’t an accident.”

Sam glanced up at Luke, blinking. “Hmm?” 

“When I kissed you on the cheek. It wasn’t an accident. I mean it _was_ , but not the way I told you it was.”

"You brought me all the way out here to tell me something I already knew?"

Luke laughed. "Hey now, there's no need to get cheeky with me, Sam. I brought you out here so we could talk for a bit. Just us. Without any… Well, without any kids around to potentially influence our words or... Actions."

 

The corners of Sam’s lips twitched up into a smile, and he felt his heart practically collapse in on itself. “Oh?” 

Luke smirked, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair and leaning back on his hands, pressed into the sand. “It’s kind of stupid for me to pretend that there isn’t something between us two, isn’t it?” 

Sam’s heart was thudding loudly in his chest. “I was thinking the same thing,” he managed to say, hoping he sounded more relaxed than he felt. This wasn’t happening.

“But Sam, you have to understand that I really am twenty five.” Luke seemed to edge slightly closer.

“I know.” Sam couldn’t help but lean forwards.

“And I have a family that I need to watch, and they’ll always come first, like your education should always come first to you.” 

Sam nodded quietly, and Luke was suddenly even closer. 

“And no matter what, this can’t be a thing. Because neither of us have enough time for distractions, not as soon as school starts back. Understand?”

“I know, Luke,” Sam said again, but this time it came out as a half-whisper.

Luke was sitting on his knees directly in front of him now; hands planted either side of Sam’s knees, staring hard into his eyes with his own sharp blue ones. 

“Not to be a paranoid teenager about this whole thing, but if you tell Cas, I’ll hurt you.”

Sam snorted. “Likewise.” 

And then Luke was kissing him.

 _God_.

God and Jesus and Satan and whoever else was out there, it was better than Sam had imagined it would be. Luke’s lips were dry and chapped and _rough_ against Sam’s in a way he hadn’t expected, but were so full of heat and want and electricity that Sam couldn’t help but let out a small groan, leaning into it, craving more.

Luke brought his hands up to Sam’s face, one cupping his jaw and the other locking fingers into Sam’s hair, giving a sharp, almost painful jerk forwards and pulling Sam impossibly closer, tongue forcing into his mouth with an almost possessive sound.

Sam melted against him, sucking on Luke’s top lip and half smiling as he heard the older man let out a quiet moan.

“Stop smiling,” Luke demanded breathlessly as he tore himself away, but before Sam had a chance to miss the contact or even reply he was crushing his lips back against Sam’s in a deep, hungry, possessive kiss that sent shivers down Sam’s spine and only forced him to push further against Luke’s firm chest, hands trailing quickly across his shoulders and then chest and further down to his hips, fingernails digging into the contours of his muscles.

He thought he heard Luke let out a hiss of pain, but as he pulled back to apologise the blond gave another painfully sharp tug on his hair and forced Sam’s mouth back to his.

Luke tasted all smoke and coffee and cheap whiskey and something like electricity, and the taste of his mouth and the overwhelming smell of vanilla was enough to make Sam’s head spin and stomach twist in ways he hadn’t even known were possible.

Sam grasps at Luke’s hips as he slid onto his knees and jerked him closer, chest pressed flush against his own, and he heard himself let out a frankly indecent moan. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed by it because it was all he’d wanted, all he’d thought about for days, maybe even weeks, or longer, because _god_ _knows_ it had felt like forever.

It was soft, wet skin slipping against his own; one rough hand in this hair and another dragging nails down his back, enough to make Sam shiver. It was a battle of teeth and tongues and fingers digging so hard into skin that bruises and vicious nail marks were inevitably left behind. It was Luke kissing him so hard it physically hurt, and Sam pushing back against him even harder, the bruising kiss overwhelming both of them, pushing both of them into a vicious cycle of pain and heat and lust and back to pain.

Luke got off on the whole pain thing Sam realised, as the blond man pulled roughly away from his lips and began to work down his jaw and throat, alternating between sucking the droplets of water off Sam’s neck and biting down hard on the skin of his collarbone.

Every time he did Sam let out a sharp cry and Luke would gently kiss the skin he’d just dug his teeth into, easing the pain. Sam was beginning to find he liked it.

Sam’s hands had somehow found their way to Luke’s hips and he was pulling him against him before he’d even realized what he was doing, and Luke let out a sharp, needy whine and just like that his lips were back on Sam’s, that unforgiving, relentless pressure that made Sam’s head feel like it was about to implode.

The kiss was messy and full of teeth and tongue and aimlessness, kissing simply because they could and they wanted to, until it wasn’t. 

Until Sam shifted just that little bit closer to Luke and their dicks pressed together through their shorts. 

It sent a shot of fire through Sam’s whole body– this was really happening, he was making out with another guy, but he didn’t even think about that because _god_ he’s so fucking hard, and he could feel that Luke was too, bringing one of his hands down from Sam’s face to grab at his ass, pulling their hips even closer together and moaning as Sam rocked into him.  

All of a sudden the kiss changed. It was hotter and more frantic, full of need and desperation and _him,_ just him, he was _everything_ , _everywhere_ , the only thing in the world that mattered. 

Sam tightened his grip on Luke’s hips as the older man rocked them forwards and their crotches were pressed together for a moment of total bliss before the pressure Sam craved was gone again.

Sam let out a sharp whine at the loss and tugged Luke’s body back against him, smashing their hips together with a breathless shout, and he felt Luke’s body tremble against his as they began to rock against each other, never breaking their dizzyingly hard kiss, not even to breathe.

Sam felt his head go light with the pain and the pleasure and the lack of oxygen but he didn’t care; all he cared about was the man in the arms and the pool of heat building in his chest.

Luke’s skin slipped perfectly against his as he tugged Sam impossibly closer, both by his hips and by his hair, tilting his mouth slightly to attack Sam’s even harder. If he kissed any deeper Sam was sure he was going to choke on it but it felt too god to make him stop, ever, and the constant building pressure of Luke’s dick shoving in short circles against his groin was making him forget about just about everything else 

“Sam,” Luke whispered messily into his mouth as their bodies crashed together once more, and Sam lost it. He felt his climax crash into him like a fucking train, practically knocking the wind out of him, and he would’ve let out a loud cry if Luke’s lips hadn’t instantly trapped the sounds coming out of his mouth, swallowing them in a deep, hungry kiss.

Seconds later Sam heard Luke let out a short gasp as he stilled against him, nails digging into Sam’s back, before he let go, collapsing back into the water with deep, heavy breaths.

As the haze he’d been in- through lust or lack of oxygen, throw a dart- drifted slowly away, Sam was suddenly aware of the pain he was in. There was a sharp pain along his back from Luke’s nails, he was sure, and a bite mark on his neck that hurt like hell, not to mention the bruises he was going to have on his hips. The uncomfortable stickiness in his shorts. Luckily that one was easily fixed; he gently sorted himself out under the water, washing away most of the mess.

Shaking slightly, he sat back in the still water, using his elbows to keep himself mostly upright, staring at Luke with half-lidded eyes.

Luke’s eyes were completely closed as he lazily ran a hand through his sex-mussed hair, and Sam could clearly see now the red scratch marks down the man’s chest from his own nails. It looked just as painful as what Sam was currently experiencing, but where Sam was wincing Luke just looked completely content in his post-coital bliss. 

“I have to say,” Sam said breathlessly after a moment, causing Luke to open his eyes and watch Sam with a faint air of lazy curiosity, “I wasn’t expecting _that_ when you kissed me on the cheek.”

Luke’s head tilted ever so slightly to the side as he stared. “Problem?”

Sam immediately shook his head, smiling slightly at the ground. “No. Definitely no problem.”

“ _I’ve_ got a problem,” Luke sighed, dragging himself upright with a soft of lazy grace and fishing for his sunglasses in the water, which had got lost somewhere in the last ten minutes. “We need to figure out a way of getting back and putting clothes on to cover all… _This_ ,” he gestured to his chest and Sam’s neck, “-Without getting seen by a child or sibling.”

“Ah,” Sam replied after a second to let that sink in. “Right. That is a problem.”

“Nobody can know about this, Sam.”

“I know that.”

“I mean, _nobody_. Castiel’s the only one who knows I’m even…” He trailed off, rubbing his face with his hands. “You’re too young for me anyway; ‘s stupid.”

Sam frowned slightly. “I wasn’t too young for you fifteen minutes ago,” he pointed out haughtily.

Luke looked up at him, and with anger Sam thought he detected a note of sympathy in his voice when he next spoke. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t, actually, what did you mean?”

Luke sighed. “I just meant we’re at very different places in our lives right now, okay? And neither of us can afford to fuck that up.” 

Sam let out a deep sigh. He was kind of right.

“This stays between us,” he said cautiously. “Right? Nobody finds out.” 

“Right,” Luke agreed.

“Can… Will we do this again?” 

At this, the sparkle returned to Luke’s pale blue eyes, and he grinned as he slid over to the exit of the cave. “You ready for round two already, Winchester?”

“No,” Sam said quickly, cheeks flushing. “I just meant-“ 

Luke laughed. “I know what you meant. And I dunno; maybe. Yeah. But it’s not going to be serious between us, okay? I mean, I don’t want to use you or anything, but if that’s going to be a problem you should just tell me right now.”

“Not a problem,” Sam said quickly, without even thinking about it.

Luke grinned lopsidedly. “Good.” He was gone.

Sam’s body relaxed as soon as he was gone, rubbing his face with his hands. He couldn’t actually believe what had just happened. What _had_ just happened? Sam snorted. The most amazing sex- if it counted as sex- of his _life_ had just happened. With a _guy_. Hell, maybe Sam was gay after all.

“You coming?” Came a voice through the cave wall. Luke’s voice.

Shit, yeah, they had to get back to the others.

“Yep,” he called back hurriedly, quickly sliding through the crack in the wall and lowering himself back into the deep, colder water on the other side. Luke was a few meters in front of him, standing with water up to his waist. He was watching Sam with a cheeky grin, eyes sparkling mischievously.

“I have a plan.”

 

*

 

Luke’s haphazard plan worked beautifully.

Luke, being the one with considerably less damage, had sprinted back into the cove and grabbed his shirt, a towel, some cash and cigarettes (which weren’t part of the plan, but who was Sam to judge?), and then ran back out yelling something about an icecream van over his shoulder.

Nobody had even looked at him twice. 

So, when he and Sam returned, Luke wearing his black t-shirt with a lit cigarette in between his teeth and carrying armfuls of various icecreams, and Sam with a towel wrapped firmly around his shoulders, nobody suspected a thing.

They’d all just grabbed an icecream and gone their separate ways.

Sure, trying to get his shirt on without anyone seeing the bruises or bite marks or hickeys on his skin had been a bit tough for Sam, but he’d managed it.

Luke had returned to his previous seat on the sand and he was holding Ruby in his lap, grinning at her and murmuring things as she tried, and mostly failed, to eat the icecream he’d handed her.

Cas, Gabriel, Anna and Dean were playing a game of cards on the sand beside them,

Naomi was lying on her front now, seemingly asleep, and Sam realized she’d actually managed to tan already. 

Alfie was happily building a sandcastle alone on the water’s edge- the thing was pretty serious; it had a moat and turrets and everything.

Sam smiled to himself as he sank to his knees in the sand, sitting himself comfortably down and watching everyone around him. He’d just had great sex, it was a beautiful sunny afternoon, they were at a beach, his brother was here, and he was eating the best icecream he’d ever had.

He didn’t think he’d ever been this happy in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the first kind of smut i've ever written, i'm so sorry if it's crap but i felt really uncomfortable writing it. i guess i'll get better with time? idk, that's what i'm hoping will happen. :P thanks for everyone's support and i'd really appreciate feedback on this one! honest feedback! please tell me if it's terrible!
> 
> -cat


	10. Raincheck

“Archaic.”

“I’m sorry?” 

“A seven-letter word for ‘dated’. Four across. Archaic.”

Luke squinted down at the newspaper crossword from over his thick-framed glasses. “Oh.” He scribbled it in. “Thanks.”

Sam shrugged, continuing to flick indifferently through the channels on the TV.

“There’s nothing on,” he complained, finally settling on The Real Housewives of Orange County with a huff, throwing the remote down onto the couch beside him.

“That’s because it’s a Thursday,” Luke sighed from his left, and Sam heard a rustling as he put the newspaper down onto his lap.

When Sam finally looked over at him he was reaching in his pockets for a cigarette.

“There’s never anything good on Thursday afternoons.”

“Why’s that?” Sam blinked in confusion.

Luke lit the cigarette with a match, settling back into the cushions with a contented sound.

“Because they expect everyone to be at work or something, Sam, how am I supposed to know?"

“Sorry,” Sam muttered sarcastically, turning back to the TV.

After a few minutes of crappy reality television and the smoke from Luke’s cigarette drifting in front of his face, Sam broke the silence.

“What time are Dean and Cas bringing the kids back?”

Luke glanced down at his watch. “Cassie said about four,” he said distantly. “The bowling place shuts at five on week days anyway." 

“So… We’ve got the house to ourselves until four?”

Luke smirked provocatively up at him; eyes still startlingly sharp even through the lenses of his glasses. “Ruby’s upstairs.” 

Sam twisted on the couch so that his body faced Luke’s. “She’s asleep.” 

“She’ll wake up soon,” Luke pointed out with a laugh, “I don’t want to scar her.”

“Like you scarred me, or in a more figurative sense?” Sam teased playfully.

Luke laughed again, shoving at Sam’s shoulder with his fist. “I already apologized for that, don’t make me do it again…”

Sam still had a long thin line down his back from one of Luke’s nails; it had been there for almost nine days now. He grinned. “Do you have any idea how hard I had to bullshit to Dean to save our asses on that one?”

Luke grinned, rolling his eyes. “I have a pretty good idea.” He licked his lips once, and that did things to Sam’s stomach that were definitely not normal reactions to that kind of thing.

“Soooo…” Sam smiled innocently at him, tilting his head slightly to the side. “We’ve got two hours…”

Luke laughed, pushing his glasses into his hair as he leaned forwards and pressed a long, deep kiss to Sam’s lips.

“Sorry darling,” he hummed in a smug voice as he drew back with a soft, wet sound. “I have to make lasagna.”

Sam let out a groan as Luke slipped off the couch and padded into the kitchen, running his hand through his hair.

“That’s not fair,” he complained loudly. “I feel victimised.”

It had been four days since they’d last had sex. Twelve days since their first time, and four since their last. It had been impossible to find any time alone since then; what with everyone else running around getting their stuff together for school next week.

Sam was beginning to hate how much he’d come to need it, to crave it. 

There was a definite undeniable chemistry between the two that Sam found impossible to get out of his head. It wasn’t just through the sex, either, but the small things; quick kisses exchanged when nobody else was around, the light knocking together of hands, quiet glances from across the room. It was driving Sam crazy. He wanted nothing more than to just quit the secrecy already.

But Luke didn’t want that.

“Then take it up with the police, Winchester, because my kids need to eat tonight and if I spend all afternoon screwing you then they won’t,” came Luke’s chirpy voice from the kitchen. 

Sam grinned as he got to his feet and went to join Luke in the kitchen, jumping up onto the counter and watching as the blond began to pull dishes and other things he needed out of the cabinet beside the oven.

“Fifteen minutes,” he suggested with a grin, eyeing Luke’s ass as the guy bent down to pick up another tray. “Then I’ll even help you cook.”

Luke turned around to smirk at him. “This family has been a terrible influence on you, Samuel Winchester. You used to be so innocent.”

Sam felt his cheeks flush as he looked away with a grin. “It was bound to happen some time.”

He heard Luke’s huff of a laugh without looking at him. “I suppose so.”

Sam carefully slid off the counter and crowded Luke into the small space of the kitchen from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist.

He felt Luke’s body still under his as he pressed a soft kiss to his neck, smiling against his skin as he heard the man let out a small, contented sigh. 

“Get off me, Sam,” Luke murmured as he relaxed into Sam’s arms. “I need to cook.” 

“Fifteen minutes,” Sam promised as he gently nipped at the skin of Luke’s ear in the way he already knew drove him mad. “Then I’ll help.”

“Fine,” Luke sighed, spinning around in Sam’s arms and slamming their mouths together so hard that it would have knocked the wind out of Sam’s chest completely if he hadn’t known that it would happen. 

He was growing to _love_ the way Luke kissed; the way that he was both purposely and absently rougher than anyone else he’d been with. As Luke knotted both hands in Sam’s hair and jerked him forwards, his tongue hot and heavy in Sam’s mouth, he felt his already half-hard dick give an interested twitch under his jeans.

Luke had clearly felt that, because Sam could feel him smirking against Sam’s lips as one hand left his hair to slide up under his shirt and trace the muscles of his back.

Luke pushed him away for just long enough to discard his own shirt and tear off Sam’s before he was pressing their bodies together again, skin colliding with skin, heat on heat. 

"See?" Sam laughed breathlessly into their kiss. "This _is_ fun."

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Luke breathed against Sam’s neck, before quite frankly _violently_ sucking on the skin there, and _damn_ it felt so good, but-

“Don’t, you’ll leave a hickey,” Sam managed, shoving Luke roughly away.

Luke stumbled backwards, eyes widening in surprise. The pair stared at each other for a moment before Luke’s eyes went dark and he practically shoved Sam backwards and pinned him against the wall, lips colliding with his in a bruising kiss, leaving Sam breathless and wanting and unable to do a whole lot of moving with Luke’s arms pinning his own above his head, his hips keeping Sam’s firmly against the wall.

He kissed him like he was exploring Sam’s mouth with his tongue; it was deep and hungry and personal and almost painful, not that Luke cared or Sam minded.

Luke moved away and ran his teeth up the side of Sam’s neck, digging into his skin so hard that it forced pain and pressure into the front of Sam’s mind but for some reason he didn’t care, he just tore his arms away from the wall and snatched at Luke’s waist, digging his fingers into the bones in a way that had Luke's breaths stuttering against his neck.

“Fuck,” he groaned, and Sam couldn’t help but smile as he ground his hips roughly against Luke’s, breath catching in his throat as Luke’s head fell back with a moan. The idea of Luke falling to pieces because of him was just too good to pass up, so he slid a hand in between their hips and pressed the heel of his palm against Luke’s crotch.

Luke took in a sharp breath as he shoved himself against Sam’s hand, and suddenly there was a hand in his hair so tight that it hurt, another snatching at his jaw and roughly pulling his open mouth against Luke’s waiting one.

“Gee Luke, I get all tingly when you take control like that,” Sam huffed out in a laugh, and suddenly Luke’s eyes were snapping open, the sharpness of their ice-blue colour sending another wave of want through Sam’s body.

“Is that so?” With a flash of a smirk and no warning whatsoever Luke was dropping to his knees on the floor in front of Sam, chest rising and falling heavily with his breathing.

“W-what are you doing?” Sam stuttered out as Luke managed to quickly unfasten his belt and snatched at his zipper, tugging his jeans down to his knees.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Luke panted, pressing his mouth against the hot line of Sam’s dick through his boxers and _jesus,_ nothing had _ever_ felt that good.

Sam let out a whimper and let his head fall back against the wall as his hips fell forwards shamelessly towards Luke’s mouth.

The older man let out a low, gravelly laugh that went straight to Sam’s dick.

“Fuck,” Sam gasped, because hell, he couldn’t help it.

Luke smirked up at him with blown-out eyes and hair all over the place and before Sam could even react he’d tugged down his boxers and taken the entirety of Sam’s length into his mouth.

Sam let out a loud, messy moan and bucked his hips involuntarily forwards, and shit, did Luke even _have_ a gag reflex, because what he was currently experiencing was almost certainly a gift from god-

He felt Luke laugh, sending vibrations up through his whole body and causing him to whimper, and fuck he must’ve been saying things outloud without realizing because the next thing he knew Luke was slowly running his tongue along the length of Sam’s cock, thumbing at the head with his hand, and Sam’s body trembled involuntarily as Luke handled him carefully, all roughness evaporated, as if he knew _exactly_ what Sam needed.

It’s nothing like with girls; Luke handles him like he knows exactly what he’s doing and what he wants, and there’s none of that tentative nervousness that Sam’s used to. Luke handles him like he’s in charge and nothing Sam does would change it, and jesus that’s turning Sam on far more than it should. He wanted to kiss him, to taste the smoke and electricity on Luke’s lips, but he obviously couldn’t fucking do that with Luke’s mouth wrapped around his cock.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Sam’s hands snatched at Luke’s shirt collar and pulled him up to his feet, Luke letting out a small yelp of surprise as Sam’s lips slammed forcefully into his, tasting something bitter on his tongue, and Luke’s hand was wrapped firmly around his dick before Sam could do anything else.

Luke snapped his wrist down once, twice, and Sam was coming apart beneath him, head dropping onto Luke’s shoulder, panting against his neck.

“Jesus,” he gasped as Luke’s pace mercilessly sped up, causing his eyes to slip shut and him to bite down hard on his lip to avoid shouting with the pure pleasure of it. His nails scratched down Luke’s bare chest and the man whimpered into it, his tongue flicking out of his mouth to wet his lips once. The motion made Sam’s head spin.

Luke’s forehead was shining with sweat as Sam groaned things he didn’t understand into his neck, the pace of the hand on his dick never slowing down or faltering or shifting, just tugging down and pulling in ways that had Sam’s hands snatching out for Luke’s jaw, shoving their mouths together.

Sam couldn’t breathe fast enough to keep up with Luke’s impossible pace as he pumped up and down. His breaths were coming out in short, sharp gasps, head collapsing back against the wall with a loud thud and ow, shit, that hurt, but it didn’t matter because the only thing that did was Luke and his fucking hand, which was twisting slightly when he tugged down on Sam’s dick even harder.

Sam began to see stars. “L-Luke, I’m gonna-“

Luke’s body was pressed flush against his, and Sam could feel a small damp spot at the front of Luke’s jeans where Sam realized he must be impossibly hard too.

“Okay,” Luke whispered into his ear as his fist jerked down one last fucking time, and Sam was gone with a loud groan and a burst of explosive warmth in his chest, a blinding light seeming to cut out his vision, his sound, everything. Far away he heard Luke let out a short gasp, and the body pressed against his stilled for a moment.

His hips stuttered against Luke’s hand and he felt himself sink down the wall slightly, legs shaking too hard to properly support his weight.

The world slowly came back into focus. 

Luke carefully removed himself from Sam’s body, and Sam winced as fingers gently uncurled from his dick.

“Sorry,” Luke hummed with a sigh, and that was when Sam noticed that the damp patch at the front of his jeans had grown considerably larger. 

“Luke,” he started, face splitting into a wide grin. “Did you-“

“You’re welcome,” Luke interrupted as he moved over to the sink to wash his hands. “Just in case you wanted to thank me for the best hand job of your life so far.”

Sam smirked as he tucked himself back into his jeans, which were thankfully clean, unlike Luke’s, and stood up properly, leaning on the wall for support. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” Luke said airily as he slid out of his own jeans, turning away from Sam as he shed his underwear and grabbed a clean-looking pair of jeans out of the pile of laundry on the floor beside the washing machine. 

Sam watched him as he pulled on the fresh pair of jeans without bothering with underwear underneath, fixing his glasses onto his nose and running a hand through his messy blond hair.

He turned to face Sam again, putting his hands in his back pockets and eyeing him almost curiously.

He was standing shirtless in the kitchen, wearing a pair of indecently low-riding jeans to expose his hipbones, no underwear, those stupid goddamn glasses and a charming smirk that could take even the straightest guy straight upstairs. He had red lines from Sam’s nails etched into his chest, and what looked suspiciously like a bite mark on the line of muscle on his neck.

He was easily the most attractive person Sam had ever met.

“You’re a seriously good fuck, Winchester. Seriously good. Especially for a straight guy.”

Sam smirked, pushing himself off the wall and pouring himself a huge mug of coffee. “Classy as always, Milton. And I’m not so sure about being straight anymore.”

Luke chuckled, reaching for a cigarette and lighting it with a match.

“There’s bite marks on your neck,” Sam said in a half apologetic tone.

Luke shrugged, not seeming to care. “We’ll tell Cas I went out and hired a hooker or something.”

“It really doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“What?”

“The fact that when we fuck it hurts like hell.”

Luke smirked. “Feels good though, doesn’t it?”

Sam wasn’t about to contest that.

There was a knock at the door.

“What fantastic timing,” Luke drawled as he exhaled a long stream of smoke into Sam’s face, moving past him to get to the door.

“You gonna answer the door like that?”

“Might as well; it’s not gonna be Cas or the kids and I’ll just let everyone else think I just had crazy sex with my crazy ex-girlfriend or something. Just let me handle it.”

Sam smirked as Luke smacked his ass as he went by, kicking his freshly shed clothes further into the pile of laundry.

“You couldn’t make a start with that lasagna while I get this, could you?”

“I’m not your housewife,” Sam laughed as Luke vanished into the living room, but he did what he said anyway.

As Sam began to take the mincemeat out of the freezer he heard the front door open, and then there was a loud shout of surprise. Sam stilled, eyes widening in anxiety, but then there was a laugh and what sounded like hugging, so he guessed it was probably alright.

Luke was back through the kitchen door in seconds, arm draped around some older guy with dark hair’s shoulders.

“Sam!” Luke said happily, and Sam managed a smile, despite having no idea what was going on. “This is an old friend of mine, Michael; remember how I was talking about him before?”

“It rings a bell,” Sam admitted, offering the guy called Michael a smile. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“You too, Sam,” Michael said, returning the smile.

Sam turned back to the lasagna before he could be sick, because he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Luke’s blue eyes lit up whenever he looked at Michael. He knew Luke had never mentioned anything about the pair of them being exclusive, but… He couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Sam wondered if there was more history between him and Michael than Luke had admitted to at the beach.

Michael, as it turned out, wasn’t much of a talker, and only asked three questions while he was there to Sam’s knowledge:

Why Luke was half naked, what the marks on his chest were from, and where the rest of the family was.

Luke answered all of these with ease; the first two being obviously blatant lies, and the last being truth. Michael eyed Sam carefully after this, but said nothing, thank god. Sam didn’t know anything about him, and he hated the thought of having to answer to this guy for fucking Luke even though he’d never been told anything about him.

The guy only stayed for twenty minutes, to Luke’s dismay and Sam’s relief.

He left with the promise that he’d be back again to visit before he left the city again, and that made Sam curious as to where he’d come here from.

Luke waved him off and then came back indoors, beaming as he skipped over to Sam and pulled him into a tight, crushing hug.

“Let go please,” Sam croaked, and Luke laughed as he released Sam from his grip.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, ruffling Sam’s hair. “Aahhh, this has been a good day. Get out of my way though, pretty boy, I still need to make dinner.”

He pulled Sam’s face up by his jaw and kissed him full on the mouth, long and soft and unexpected, and shoved Sam out of the way when he pulled back, sliding gracefully into the kitchen and humming happily along to the radio as he set to work making the lasagna.

“So,” Sam said, after clearing his throat. “You gonna tell me who that was?”

“Michael,” Luke said by way of explanation, raising an eyebrow at Sam.

Sam stared at him with a deadpan expression. “You gonna go into any more detail than that?”

Luke shrugged, spreading out a layer of pasta onto the baking tray. “We, um, we dated. Way back.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “How way back?”

Luke scoffed. “Ages. Years. We’ve been colleagues for a while since then. Nothing’s gone on in forever, I haven’t even seen him since Lilith caught us together.”

Sam swallowed uncomfortably. So this was the guy he’d been with when Lilith found out. “So there’s… Nothing going on now?”

Luke sighed, spinning to face him. “No, there’s not, but would you care if there was? Because to be completely honest with you Sam, _we_ are _not_ a thing here.”

Sam frowned at him. “I know that.”

“Then stop acting like a jealous sixteen year old girl,” Luke shot back. 

Sam glared at his back as he turned away again to tend to the lasagna he still had barely even started.

“You said you guys were colleagues,” he said after a moment, trying to make casual conversation in an attempt to make the environment in the kitchen less hostile. “Doing what?”

Luke tilted his head from side to side. “This and that, you know,” he said casually. “He was my dealer for a bit. Then he was a business partner in my current area of employment. Then he was my lawyer.” 

“Dealer?” Sam raised his eyebrows. “And lawyer?”

“Mm. Coke. And he’s actually really smart; he’s got a law degree from Harvard-“ Luke seemed to force himself to stop. “Anyway, we’ve just known each other for a really long time. He grew up next door to me.”

Sam wet his lips once, turning away. “Okay.”

Luke turned to raise an eyebrow at him. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Sam repeated, trying not to let the frustration he felt show in his tone. “Okay?!”

Luke raised his hands in mock surrender. “Jeez, okay.” He turned back to the lasagna.

The pair remained in silence for a large part of the next twenty minutes, with Luke chainsmoking cigarettes and making lasagna and Sam deciding to make himself useful and put some of the laundry on the ground into the washing machine.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Luke asked, and Sam convinced himself that there wasn’t a hopeful note in Luke’s voice.

He shrugged, leaning against the washing machine as it jolted to a start. “I dunno. How much have you got?”

“Enough,” Luke said in assurance. “Stay. Please.”

“It depends on what Dean wants to do.”

Luke smirked. “Dean’ll stay for Cas.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, probably.” His eyes scanned Luke’s back, watching the thick muscles in his shoulders flexing as he reached for another baking dish.

“So? You staying or what?”

Sam smiled to himself. “Yeah, alright. I’ll stay.”

At that moment, the loud and obnoxious sound of a baby screaming came from upstairs.

"Shit." Luke sighed, jogging past Sam and thrusting a wooden spoon into his hand as he rushed up the stairs. “Keep an eye on that for me!”

Sam chuckled to himself as he went over to the stove and began stirring the mincemeat in the pot with the wooden spoon.

Sometimes he was sure that he was more than just a fuck to Luke. Hell, most of the time he was sure of that. But sometimes, just sometimes, there were moments when he wasn’t so sure after all.

Before he could dwell on this any further Luke was back, now wearing a tight, dark green t-shirt and hoisting Ruby up on his hip.

“Thanks,” he sighed as he snatched the spoon out of Sam’s hand and placed Ruby carefully in her high chair, grabbing a pot of baby formula out of the fridge and placing it gently in Ruby’s hands before he turned his attention back to the lasagna.

“The others will be home soon,” he said mournfully, “And I still haven’t finished this.”

“They won’t mind, they’ll survive,” Sam assured him, wrapping an arm somewhat hesitantly around Luke’s waist and feeling pleasantly surprised when the older man sighed and leaned into him.

“They can just eat a little later. Maybe at seven or eight,” Luke mused, pressing an absent kiss to Sam’s cheek. “You’re right; they’ll survive.”

Sam grinned, letting his fingers slip down under the waistband of Luke’s jeans. “Are you still not wearing underwear?”

Luke laughed as he shoved Sam away. “Fuck off; my house, my rules.”

Sam smiled innocently as he sat himself down at the kitchen table with his mug of coffee. “I don’t mind.”

Luke smirked up at him through his glasses. “Sam. We’re not flirting around my daughter.”

Sam gave him a look of pretend confusion. “Is that what we were doing?”

“I AM THE VICTOR,” came Gabriel’s loud shout as the front door was flung open and the rest of the family traipsed into the house.

Luke laughed, sticking his head around the door to wave them in. “Did you guys have fun?!”

“No,” everyone said firmly, at the same time Gabriel replied very emphatically “Yes”.

Cas and Dean were the first to file into the kitchen, both looking weary and exhausted, and while Cas went over to help Luke with the lasagna Dean collapsed down in a chair opposite Sam.

Sam grinned at him. “Dude, you look like you’ve been hit by a bus.”

“I’m never having kids,” Dean promised with a shake of his head. “Never, Sam. Never." 

Sam laughed, raising his coffee to his lips. “Oh come on, it can’t have been that bad.”

Dean just stared at him. “You lucky soul. You have no idea. Luke, how long’s dinner gonna be?”

“An hour or so,” Luke called apologetically, “Sorry.”

Cas gave him a look. “You couldn’t have started earlier?!”

Luke gave Cas a guilty look, and Sam knew he was about to bullshit the hell out of the situation.

“I, um, went out for a bit. Michael’s back in town-“

Cas let out a long, exasperated groan. “Oh, great, just what we need,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought he was gone for good this time.”

“Hey,” Luke said accusingly. “He’s a nice guy, and I happen to like him.”

“Yeah,” Cas scoffed, “We know.” He gave Sam an apologetic look. “I apologise on the behalf of my brother.”

Sam grinned a little lopsidedly, smirking up at Luke. “It’s cool, I had a pretty good time without him.”

Luke stuck out his tongue.

Anna ran into the room and flung her arms around Sam’s neck, giggling. “Hi Sam,” she beamed up at him after she’d pulled back.

Sam grinned back, ruffling her hair. “Hey kiddo, how was bowling?”

Anna crinkled her nose. “It was gross. Gabriel destroyed us all. But Cas and Dean helped me out and I even got a strike once.”

Sam laughed. “Nice! I’m proud of you; I’ve never gotten a strike before.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Sammy, that’s pathetic.”

Sam grinned. “Shut up, I never go bowling.”

“Maybe I’ll take you sometime,” Luke mused from over by the fridge.

Sam felt his cheeks heat up and quickly turned to Ruby to check if she’d finished her formula.

 

 

*

 

 

That evening after dinner, when everyone had gone their separate ways to bed, Luke and Sam were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes.

Sam felt a bit like they were married, it was _that_ domestic. Luke would rinse and wash them, and Sam would dry, all the while exchanging attempts at witty banter and subtle jabs at each other, bumping elbows and shoulders and occasionally trading soft kisses when they were definitely sure nobody else could see them. 

Luke, it seemed, had grown a lot less cautious of displaying direct affection towards Sam anywhere near the rest of his family.

When they had first started doing this he wouldn’t even talk to Sam with them around, and now with Dean and Cas in the next room he was completely comfortable with knotting his fingers into Sam’s hair and pulling him into a long, deep kiss.

When they broke apart, and they eventually did, Luke let out a small sigh of content, rinsing off the last dish and throwing the brush down into the sink as he emptied it.

“Done, thank god.”

Sam grinned, shaking his head slightly. “You should invest in a dishwasher.”

Luke raised his eyebrows. “You fucking kidding me? Those things cost more than a liver on the black market.”

Sam laughed. “Maybe not that much,” he teased, putting away the last of the bowls and draping his towel over the edge of the sink. “Anyway, I should probably get going. Dean’s gonna want to get home before Dr. Sexy comes on.”

“I love that show,” Luke said absently as Sam gently placed a hand on his shoulder as he passed him, entering the living room. 

“Hey Dean, we should probably-“

He froze, a wide grin spreading across his face.

“Luke,” he hissed as he jogged quietly back into the kitchen. “Luke, Luke Luke Luke, come here-“

“What, Sam- OW, get off me-“

Sam dragged him by the wrist into the living room, jabbing his finger excitedly at the couch.

Dean and Cas were sitting next to each other on the couch, legs crossed, and very much making out. Pretty intensely. It would actually be really gross if Sam hadn’t been shipping it for almost a month.

Sam heard Luke let out an excited squeal beside him and quickly covered his mouth with his own hand to get him to shut up.

Giggling, the pair slipped back into the kitchen, and Luke wrapped an arm happily around Sam’s shoulders. “I knew it.”

“We all knew it,” Sam grinned.

“I knew it the most,” Luke sighed in a confident tone, cupping Sam’s jaw and coaxing him into a quick, soft kiss. “Mm,” he hummed as he pulled back, clapping Sam on the shoulder as he let go of him and lit up a cigarette. “If you want you can spend the night here.”

Sam wanted to say yes. He really, really did. But as much as he wanted to stay the night with Luke, he really didn’t want to have to hear his brother fucking Cas the whole night from upstairs. It was best if he just dragged Dean home and then he and Luke could figure out a way to let those two have the house to themselves for a few hours some other time to do their shit.

“I’ll take a raincheck,” he promised, kissing Luke lightly on the cheek as he slipped out of the kitchen.

“Dean,” he said loudly as he walked into the living room, purposely making a lot of noise as he tugged open the front door.

He turned around, and then let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes. The pair were still sitting on the couch in liplock, seemingly not even noticing Sam’s presence. 

“DEAN, dude, we gotta go home.”

Dean and Cas practically jumped apart, as if there was a chance that Sam hadn’t seen them, and he rolled his eyes for the second time in twenty seconds. “Come on, man, let’s go.” 

Dean shot Sam a hard glare as he gathered up his shit, taking one last glance at Cas before grabbing Sam’s arm and pulling him out the door.

“Goodnight, Dean,” came Castiel’s small voice as the door slammed closed.

Sam smirked as they jumped into the impala, buckling his seatbelt as Dean started the engine and the car roared to life.

“Hey Dean, I was just thinking, me and Luke were going to take all the kids out to the park tomorrow, and since you and Cas were on kidsitting duty yesterday you guys should probably just stay home,” he said in a way that was both pointed and subtle.

His older brother grinned widely at him, knocking a fist into his shoulder. “You’re the best, Sammy.”

Sam smirked. “I know.”


	11. Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK LITERALLY FOREVER >.> i've just been super busy lately and i haven't really had time to do a whole lot of writing. this ridiculous schedule of mine won't be letting up for another few weeks but i'll try to update whenever possible. i'm so so so sorry, i've tried to make this chapter kinda long to make up for it. love you all <3
> 
> -cat

“KIDS!” Luke yelled as he jogged down the landing, pushing open bedroom doors and flicking on the lights. “Come on, first day of school, let’s go!”

There was a volley of groans from the boys’ room as Luke cheerfully slammed open the door and charged in.

“Fuck off,” Gabriel moaned, covering his head with the pillow. “I’m not prepared for this. Gimme a sick day just this once.”

“Nope, sorry kiddo,” Luke grinned as he snatched the pillow off Gabriel’s head and gave the boy a hard shove. “Get up, the bus gets here in an hour and you’ve not even got your shit together yet."

“Why do you look like a mobster from a Quentin Tarantino movie?” Came Castiel’s sleepy voice from the other side of the room.

Luke turned to glare at his brother’s head, whose hair was pointing up all over the place.

Cas rubbed his tired eyes to squint at Luke. “How’d it feel to shoot Marv in the face?”

“Shut the fuck up and stop quoting Pulp Fiction at me, Cas. I’m meeting a client this morning and I have to look presentable,” Luke snapped, self-consciously brushing a hand through his hair.

“You got a gun holster in your jacket?” Gabriel yawned as he dragged himself out of bed and began to walk zombie-like towards the bathroom.

“As a matter of fact, yes, and I’d use the downstairs toilet if I was you. Naomi and Anna are in the upstairs one fighting over the mirror.

Gabriel clicked his tongue and pointed at Luke in a gesture of what he assumed was agreement, before leaving the room.

Luke sighed. “Cas, sorry man, but you gotta get up. I can’t take Ruby to work with me today.”

Cas groaned, and suddenly there was another head popping out of the blankets beside him. 

“Why not?” Dean asked with a frown, and Luke immediately let out a loud noise of distaste.

“What?!” Dean was laughing as Luke shivered in disgust.

Cas’ expression remained completely neutral, but Luke noticed his ears go pink.

“Why can’t you take Ruby to work with you?” Cas plowed on as if nothing had happened; as if Dean Winchester wasn’t naked and smirking at Luke from behind Cas.

That was his baby _brother_.

“Because I can’t take a baby to a meeting like this, Cas! There's _drugs_ involved! She's _two_! And besides, they won’t take me seriously and I’ll end up being shot and dumped in a river somewhere.”

He made the mistake of catching Dean’s eye, and the fucker just waggled his eyebrows at him.

Luke groaned, turning on his heel and leaving the room.

“What’s the matter with you?!” Dean yelled after him, laughing.

“You can’t fuck my little brother in my house while everyone’s here!” He yelled back, pushing open the door to the bathroom and nearly tripping on a towel. 

“Morning,” he tried over the sound of squabbling girls as Anna fought to shove Naomi to the side long enough to fix her hair in the mirror.

When there was no response, Luke just shrugged, reaching between them to try and snatch his toothbrush.

He nearly got his arm ripped off in the process.

Okay. That wasn’t gonna work.

Whatever. He could just brush his teeth later. Getting in the middle of the catfight in front of him wasn’t worth it.

Toothbrush forgotten he jogged down the stairs, and nearly slipped over in his shiny (‘borrowed’) dress shoes which had absolutely zero grip and were therefore useless.

He knew there was a reason he’d never worn these before.

Luke poured himself a generous cup of coffee as soon as he entered the kitchen, like he did every morning. Anna came thundering past him as soon as he raised the mug to his lips.

“Morning Carrot Top,” he said warmly, moving to ruffle her hair.

“NO!” Anna yelled, ducking out of his reach and sitting down at the table. “Don’t touch my hair!”

Luke whistled as he placed his mug on the counter, immediately grabbing boxes of cereal out of the cupboards and chucking them onto the table. “Someone’s touchy this morning…”

“Hey Luke,” Naomi said as she came speeding into the kitchen. She grabbed her backpack and a piece of toast. “Zeke’s giving me a ride, I’ll be home for dinner! Bye!"

“I thought you guys were broken up!” Luke yelled after her as the door slammed, letting out an exasperated sigh and drinking his orange juice straight out of the carton.

“That’s gross,” Alfie supplied in disgust from the kitchen table, giving him one of his legendary judgmental stares.

“Shut up and eat your breakfast,” Luke shot back in a mostly affectionate tone. “Where the hell’s your shithead brother? GABRIEL?”

“I’m here, Jesus,” Gabriel shot back as he strolled through the door, hair still damp from the shower. “Where’s Naomi?”

“She left already, Zeke’s picking her up.”

“Huh, no shit.”

“Why are you wearing a tie?” Anna piped up from her cereal, staring at Luke in confusion.

“It’s for work,” he explained, straightening out the lapels on his blazer jacket. “What do you think?”

Anna nodded with an impressed expression. “Looks good. You look professional.”

Luke grinned. “Thanks.”

“What, no bacon?” Dean Winchester smirked as he appeared wearing nothing but one of Castiel’s old t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

“Put pants on,” Luke ordered immediately. “I can handle you screwing my baby brother, but if you’re gonna be doing it I want to see you have pants on around my house, got it?”

“Dean’s fucking Cas?” Gabriel interrupted, grinning so widely Luke thought his face was going to split in half. “Seriously?”

“Damn right,” Dean said loudly, over the sounds of Anna giggling and Gabriel’s slow clapping. “But seriously, Luke, no bacon on the first day of school? What kind of dickhead parent are you?”

“A broke one,” Luke replied, throwing a piece of toast in Dean’s general direction as he started making packed lunches.

Cas came jogging down the stairs then, holding Ruby in his arms, and when he reached Luke the pair swapped places; Luke taking Ruby and Cas continuing to do the lunches.

They worked like a well oiled machine; both knowing exactly what to do without the other needing to ask. Sometimes Luke literally thanked god for having a brother like Cas.

“Oh, Luke, before I forget, Sam texted me to ask you if it was okay if he stopped by later,” Dean said through a mouthful of toast, and Luke groaned to himself.

Of course Sam would pick the _one_ _day_ he was actually super busy.

“Tell him it’s cool but I won’t be back until after three at the earliest,” he called back over Ruby’s babbling as he gently placed her in the high chair.

“Why don’t you just get a fucking phone and text him yourself?” Dean was complaining.

Luke raised an eyebrow. “We don’t have enough money for each of us to have a phone, so we share one for emergencies. Texting Sam is not an emergency.”

Not just yet, anyway; he was pretty sure he could handle at least one more day without him.

“Why does my brother like it here so much anyway,” Dean was groaning as he collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs. “I mean, damn, he spends more time here than I do and I’m sleeping with one of you.”

Cas went scarlet, and Luke smirked. If only he knew. “Oh, that was really classy, Winchester, nice one.”

“Where’s the spare toothpaste?!” Anna was yelling, scrambling through the drawers.

“Second from the bottom,” Luke said in exasperation, jabbing towards it with his finger. “Right- Yeah, that’s the one. I need it after you, so leave it in the bathroom when you’re-”

Anna had already sprinted up the stairs with it.

Gabriel stuffed one more mouthful of cereal into his mouth before grabbing his brown lunch bag and shoving it into his backpack. “I’m off,” he called as he made his way out the front door. “I’ll see you later, losers!”

“Gabriel!” Luke shouted after him, running to the door. “You’re supposed to take Alfie to the bus stop!”

“It’s okay, Luke,” Alfie said calmly as he got to his feet. “I can walk by myself. I know the way.”

“I’ll take you,” Luke promised, clapping his younger brother on the back.

Alfie shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I can do it. Get to work.” He slipped past Luke and out the door.

Luke turned to stare mournfully at Cas, who was giving him a pitying look.

“They’re growing up, Luke. It happens.”

“I know,” Luke grumbled. He clapped Cas on the back. “Hey, you wouldn’t mind making sure Anna gets out on time would you? And check the shoebox for cash, I have to pay the electricity bill before five but I need to get the money from this job first to cover it, just make sure we have enough to last us afterwards?”

“Of course. Will you be home for dinner?”

“Should be as I’m cooking; I thought we could do turkey as we still have some frozen from last month.”

“That sounds good.”

Anna appeared again, scrambling down the stairs again, backpack swung haphazardly over her shoulder. “BYE!” She yelled over her shoulder as she flew out the door.

“DON’T FORGET THE GROCERIES!” Cas and Luke shouted at the same time, wincing as the door slammed behind her.

“That was impressive,” Dean commented from the kitchen table, staring at the pair from over his orange juice.

Luke gave him a sarcastic smile before rushing up the stairs to brush his teeth.

When he came downstairs again, he was surprised to find Sam was standing in the living room talking to Cas.

“I thought you weren’t coming by until later,” Luke said in faint surprised as he watched the younger Winchester, who flashed him a grin. Luke tried to pretend it didn’t make his stomach turn.

“Dean texted saying you’d be gone most of the day so I figured I’d drop by quickly now.”

Luke caught Castiel’s eye, and his brother was staring at him so hard he could almost feel himself turning to stone.

He cleared his throat

“Okay, cool. I gotta go to work in a sec though.” He tried to step around Sam to get to the kitchen, but Sam just grabbed his wrist.

Luke stopped dead in his tracks, throat constricting, and what the hell, that wasn’t a normal reaction.

“I actually need to talk to you about something. It’s kinda important.”

Luke frowned at him. As if that wasn’t fucking obvious enough for Cas, who was now eyeing the two with a fierce look of accusation.

“About what?” Luke managed easily, flicking an eyebrow up in feigned innocence.

Sam chewed his lip. “It’s… It’s actually about John. Dad.” He glanced at Cas, who was now looking less suspicious and more concerned. “Could you give us a sec?”

“Sure,” Cas agreed, sliding into the kitchen where Luke was pretty sure Dean was still eating breakfast. The door closed behind him with a small click.

“So what about John?” Luke began, but Sam was grinning at him again.

“What, did I miss something?”

“Nothing’s going on with Dad, I just need to talk to you.”

Luke grinned back, raising his eyebrows. “Oh really? _Talk_?”

Sam laughed, wrapping his arms around Luke’s neck and pulling him into a kiss. Luke let out a soft noise of discontent at the blatant manhandling in broad daylight with their brothers in the next room, but after a second found himself giving in and placing his hands on Sam’s waist.

“I’ve missed you,” Sam said when they finally broke the lazy kiss.

“It’s been three days,” Luke smirked.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He laughed, pulling away from Sam and reaching for his jacket, tugging it on. “I need to get to work, Sam, what do you want?”

“You look _really_ good in a suit.”

“Sam-“

“ _Really_ good.” The younger boy’s eyes were staring seriously into his, and Luke felt himself blush, and god that was so gay, even for him.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Will you still be wearing it later?”

“Fuck. Off.”

“I do actually need to talk to you, though,” Sam was saying as Luke began to shove his various stuff into a briefcase. “You remember how I said a few days ago that I might have to head back to school a little earlier than planned?”

“Yeah,” Luke heard himself say slowly.

Sam chewed on his lip. “Um, well, I… I'm kind of leaving tomorrow.”

_Tomorrow._

_Of all days._

_Fucking tomorrow._

Luke stared at him for a moment in complete silence. Truth be told, he didn’t know what to say. He had no fucking idea.

“For… Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

_Don’t leave._

_Not tomorrow._

“Oh.”

_Maybe not ever. I'd miss you._

There was a long pause, the couple just staring at each other.

“Were you ever going to fucking tell me?”

Sam frowned. “I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Luke stared at him. “It’s a bit short notice, don’t you think?”

Sam shrugged slightly, not looking at him. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

 _Please_. _Don’t_.

“Okay.”

Sam frowned. “Okay?”

 _Stay_.

Luke shrugged, avoiding looking at him as he lifted his briefcase off the couch. Why did it have to be tomorrow?

“I guess so. I mean, it’s school. We knew you were going back at some point anyway.” He left out the part where he felt like a part of his soul was dying slowly because _Sam was leaving Sam couldn’t leave please no._

But that was dumb, because he’d always known this was temporary. They both had. It wasn’t meant to be a thing.

It didn’t matter that for the past month Luke had lived for the days when he’d see him. It didn’t matter because family had to come first, and Sam’s education had to be just as important as that.

Sam could _be_ someone. He was going to law school. He’d have a _career_. He’d end up living in some big fancy house with a wife and dog and three kids and a Mercedes in the garage.

Luke knew he’d never have that. His job was to take care of his family. Once he’d done that… Well, he’d be in his forties. He’d probably just buy a cat and stay in their shitty house, living for the days when various family members came by to visit him.

It was a pretty fucking depressing truth, he realized.

Sam was staring at him.

Luke blinked himself out of his reverie. “What?”

“I asked if you had any time later to hang out or something. Like after work, ‘cause it’s my last day.” He sounded almost hopeful.

Luke’s brain wasn’t really working properly as he ran one hand through his hair, still avoiding Sam’s eyes.

He finally met Sam’s gaze, and noticed that the younger boy was chewing almost anxiously on his lip. Luke remembered he still hadn’t replied.

“Okay.”

Sam looked a little relieved. “Okay,” he repeated.

Sam was leaving.

It was stupid how depressed that thought made him. He knew that Sam would have to leave; he’d known it from the very beginning. Everyone always leaves, he knew that. He was just being childish.

Except for some unknown reason, it hurt even more knowing it was Sam.

And that Sam hadn’t even thought to tell him.

“I gotta go to work,” Luke said suddenly, turning on his heel and heading towards the front door.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said in a small voice from behind him, but Luke ignored it, kicking the door shut behind him.

There was only one possible solution to Luke's now excruciating headache, and the pang of something he wasn't familiar with in his chest.

"Michael," he said into the phone as the man on the other end picked up on the second ring. "Hey, man, it's Luke. Listen, I need you to get something for me…" 

 

 

*

 

  

Sam felt himself trembling slightly as the front door slammed shut behind Luke.

“Very nice,” came Castiel’s smooth voice from behind him. “He’s definitely going to be pissed off for a while, now.” 

Sam whipped around to face him, and noticed that the guy was leaning against the doorjamb in the kitchen. Dean’s face was poking out from the kitchen table behind him.

Sam chewed his lip. “Did… You didn’t hear everything, did you?”

Cas shot him a meaningful look. “ _Everything_.”

Sam swallowed.

Cas just stared accusingly at him, arms folded, while Dean just grinned into his toast from the table.

“It’s not what it sounds like,” Sam began to argue as he felt his cheeks heat up, but Cas just held up a hand to silence him.

“No, you know what, I don’t want to hear it. I’ll make him explain himself later. What I _do_ want to know is why you’ve decided to fly back home tomorrow without telling anyone.”

Dean opened his mouth to answer, but Sam just glared at him until he held up his hands in mock surrender, raising another piece of toast to his mouth and taking a huge bite.

“Because I didn’t want anyone to make a big fuss about it,” he explained with a sigh, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’ll still come back to visit and stuff anyway, it’s not like I’m leaving forever.”

Cas frowned at him in that squinty way he mastered. “And what about him?” He gestured towards the front door. “What about Luke?”

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. “Um…”

Cas let out a noise of irritation, and Sam quickly answered.

“Okay, okay; um, I’ll miss him. A _lot_. Obviously. But I’m gonna talk to him about it tonight and hopefully-“

“No, I meant why didn’t you tell him you were leaving on such short notice?”

Now it was Sam’s turn to frown. “Are you giving me the brother speech right now, Cas?”

“Maybe I am. Answer the question.”

Sam could hear Dean snickering from the kitchen, and felt a sudden urge to punch him.

“I didn’t tell him ‘cause I thought he wouldn’t really mind all that much.”

“You _what_?”

“I thought he wouldn’t-“

“No, no, I heard what you said.”

Cas approached him with a pretty strong glare for a nerdy, skinny dude with perpetual sex-hair, and Sam actually found himself taking a step backwards.

“You mean to tell me, Sam, that you thought it would be a good idea to tell the guy you’ve been sleeping with- don’t even _deny_ it right now, Sam, because I _know_ \- the same guy, in fact, who has been in and out of the foster care system for most of his life, whose mother left as soon as Alfie was born, whose father abandoned him on his 21st birthday; the dude practically _screams_ abandonment issues- you thought it was clever to give _him_ short notice about this, and then leave on his _birthday_?”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Tomorrow’s his birthday?!”

Cas gave him a strange look. “You didn’t know that?!”

“Of course I didn’t know that!” Sam felt like shit.

“Well it is. His 26th, actually. Alfie’s going to try and bake a cake; we’ll see how that turns out.”

“Fuck.”

“He cares about you, Sam. He does. And when he realizes he does, he’s going to be very, very pissed off that you didn’t tell him sooner.”

Sam collapsed down onto the couch, staring at the wall.

“How mad? How mad will he be?”

Cas shrugged. “It depends on how intoxicated he gets.”

Sam groaned. _Great_.

“So how long have you guys been- you know?” Cas asked slightly uncomfortably, not looking directly at Sam. “Because I told Luke not to go there. No offense meant to him, Sam, he’s my brother and I love him, but you’re not gonna be stuck in the south side for the rest of your life like he is. You can do better than that.”

_I don’t want to._

“We’re not together,” Sam said quickly, and he could practically feel Dean’s smirk on his back. “And, um, quite a while now.”

Cas frowned. “How long?”

 

 

* 

 

 

“Wow Sammy,” Dean said through a mouthful of leftover meatloaf. “I gotta say, little brother, I never picked you for a gay kid.” 

Sam glared at him from where his chin rested on his hands on the kitchen table. “You’re one to talk.”

Dean just laughed. “Yep, that’s us. Just a great big family of homos.” 

Sam couldn’t help but smile.

“You don’t need me to give you the talk or anything, right? Because to be honest with you-“

“No,” Sam said firmly. “It’s fine. Please don’t.”

It was almost half past four. Cas was supposed to get back in half an hour, and Luke was supposed to get back half an hour ago.

“You and Luke,” Dean sighed with a shake of his head, taking another huge mouthful of meatloaf. “Huh.”

Sam glared at him. “There is no ‘me and Luke’, Dean. We’re not a couple.”

Dean raised both eyebrows but said nothing.

It was almost half past five when Luke finally returned to the house. Cas had been back for a while already, and he and Dean had decided ‘on a whim’ to take the kids out to see a movie when they got home from their first day of school.

That meant that when Luke got home, he and Sam would be the only people there.

Sam was sure Dean and Castiel had some kind of weird ulterior motive they weren’t telling him, but whatever. He wasn’t going to question it.

He just wanted to see Luke. He wanted to explain why he hadn't told Luke; that he didn't think it would've mattered to him. Besides, Luke basically treated Sam like he was a warm mouth and nothing else.

He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that he hadn’t told Sam about his birthday. But, then again, like he’d told Dean, they weren’t a couple. There was no reason for Sam to know that, or even to care. They just fucked around sometimes, that was all.

Except maybe Sam kind of didn’t want that to be all.

And by the time Luke arrived home, Sam had already realised it wasn’t just a maybe.

The front door slammed open, causing Sam to twist violently around from his seat on the couch where he was watching TV.

Luke was glaring as he threw the door shut again and stormed straight past Sam and into the kitchen, muttering under his breath the entire way. His hair was disheveled and his suit jacket and briefcase were missing, and he had a split lip and a frankly vicious-looking bruise on his left cheekbone.

Sam’s eyes followed him in surprise as he ignored him and disappeared into the kitchen. He got to his feet and followed him through.

“Luke, dude, you okay?”

“No,” Luke muttered as he poured himself a mug of coffee and collapsed down at the kitchen table. “No, I am not.”

Sam frowned and sat down opposite him. “No offense, but what happened to your face?”

Luke shot him a sharp glare, and Sam held his hands up in surrender and raised his eyebrows. “Just asking.”

Luke gave him a sarcastic smile, before practically draining his entire mug of coffee in one go and slamming the cup down on the table. He reached into his pockets, searching for what Sam was pretty certain was a cigarette.

Sure enough he pulled one out and lit it, exhaling deeply before speaking.

“There was a, um… A problem, at work.”

Sam flicked up an eyebrow sarcastically. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“What happened?”

“Michael arrived just as-“

Sam sighed. “Oh, great, _Michael_ was there.”

Luke looked at him strangely. “Of course he was, he’s my dealer.”

Sam stared at him. “Your dealer?”

“Yes, I’ve told you that before; anyway-“

“What kind of drugs does he sell you?”

“Coke; Sam, are you gonna let me tell the story or what?”

Sam was incredulous. “Wait, are you _high_ right now?”

Luke leaned back in his chair and balanced it on two legs, eyeing him up with a scowl. “So what if I am?”

Sam just stared at him, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, mouth slightly apart. “I can’t fucking believe you. Hard drugs, Luke. You’ve got a family of seven to feed and you take hard drugs on a school night.”

Luke frowned. “If you’re gonna get smart with me then fine, don’t worry about it.”

“What, now you’re not gonna tell me the story?”

“Nope.”

Sam let out an exasperated sigh. “Jesus, Luke, way to be a child.”

“I’M being a child?”

“ _Yeah_ , you’re being a fucking child!

“That’s rich coming from the underage one.”

“I’m a legal adult, Luke, and at least I know better than to do fucking _cocaine_ , Jesus!”

“You’re still only eighteen.”

“The eighteen-year-old _you’ve_ been having gay sex with.”

Luke shot him a piercing look that sent chills down his spine. He could look really fucking scary if he tried.

“I am an actual adult, Sam. I pay BILLS. I take care of an entire family.”

Sam said the first thing that came into his head before he could even stop himself.

“Barely.”

The next thing he knew there was a fist connecting with his jaw.

Sam let out a loud yelp of surprise and pain at Luke’s punch, which was so strong (guess he didn’t hold back for Sam’s sake) that it actually forced his head around and almost caused him to fall out of the chair.

And yeah, okay, maybe he had kind of deserved that.

Sam was still seeing stars by the time he registered the sounds of chair legs scraping against the floor as Luke stood up.

“You should go,” the older man’s voice snapped, and he felt an arm snatch at his shoulder and tug him to his feet.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday?” Sam managed to spit out as he wrenched himself from Luke’s grip, clutching his jaw- which he was pretty sure was going to be bruised- in one hand.

“You should go,” Luke repeated even more angrily, shoving Sam hard on the shoulder.

“NO,” Sam half-yelled back, spinning around to face Luke.

At first, the man looked angry. Furious, even. But Sam’s comment hadn’t been that offensive, he hadn’t thought, so there had to be more to it than that, didn’t there?

“Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday?” He repeated in a slightly softer voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?!” Luke demanded with a glare, pushing Sam’s shoulders forcefully backwards and causing him to stumble.

“I didn’t think it would matter!” Sam found himself yelling back. “Hell, you’re the one always saying “we’re not a thing, we’re not a thing”!”

“That doesn’t mean you can just drop the fucking bomb on me the day before it happens!” Luke shouted, clenching his hands into fists, and shit he looked really, _really_ mad-

“Well I’m SORRY! I didn’t think you’d even CARE! _I_ didn’t know it was your birthday!”

Luke let out a loud, exasperated noise, throwing his arms up either side of him. “Jesus _Christ_ , Sam, you think this is about my fucking _birthday_?!”

“Well what ELSE could it be about?!”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re LEAVING TOMORROW and you DIDN’T TELL ME? ME?! OF ALL PEOPLE? WHAT, DID YOU NOT THINK IT WOULD _MATTER_?”

“I DIDN’T TELL ANYONE!” Sam roared back, lashing out blindly and digging his nails into Luke’s shoulders, shoving him roughly backwards as he took a step closer. “The only one who knew was DEAN! What makes YOU any different from Cas, or Anna, or Naomi?!”

Luke’s glare seemed impossibly to have increased in focus, and his sharp blue eyes were now staring into Sam’s with such intensity that it was almost giving him a headache.

The words that came out of his not-boyfriend’s mouth were possibly the most unexpected thing that had ever happened to Sam in his entire life.

 _“_ BECAUSE, I _LOVE_ YOU _.”_

Sam froze.

So did Luke.

They stood there for a moment in total silence, staring at each other.

Sam’s body felt numb. His ears were filled with that fuzzy sound of static from an old TV.

“You what?” Sam asked quietly.

Luke opened his mouth slowly, and then closed it again. He looked just as surprised as Sam did.

“I…”

Silence fell again. Sam knew his mouth was hanging open slightly, but he didn’t even bother trying to close it.

Luke had said he loved him.

He’d actually said it.

Out loud.

Sam’s heart was going to explode.

Maybe it was just the drugs talking.

But… Maybe it wasn’t.

He knew in that instant what he wanted, more clearly than he’d ever known anything in his life.

Because if what he felt for the drugged-up asshole in a tattered suit standing in front of him _wasn’t_ love, then he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“I don’t have to go back to school,” Sam heard himself say, taking a step forwards, towards Luke.

Luke was visibly shaking now, and he took a step back. “Of course you do.”

“But-“

“ _No_.”

“Luke,” he said desperately, “Just let me finish-“

“Sam, get out.” The other man’s voice was tired, and when Sam met his eyes he very quickly averted his.

“Luke,” Sam tried again, but Luke just shook his head sharply and turned away, running one hand through his hair and gesturing to the front door with the other.

“Get out.”

“I didn’t mean what I said before. About you barely taking care of your family.”

Sam swallowed as he headed slowly towards the door, not taking his eyes off Luke’s back.

“You do the best you can.”

“And that’s why it’s best if you just fucking go,” Luke practically snarled, spinning on his heel to glare at Sam. “Get it? Because you’re a distraction, Sam, a big fucking distraction, and I don’t need you here screwing up my life. So just do us all a favour, and _fuck off_.”

Sam felt a pang of hurt in his chest, and he quickly turned and left, closing the door behind him and hoping his emotions didn’t show on his face.


	12. To Be Or Not To Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus fuck you guys I am so sorry this took me absolutely forever. basically I had my DofE gold expedition (we passed!), and then straight after that I was at Glastonbury Festival (where I lost my voice). but anyways that's all over now, and hopefully this chapter isn't too horrible :s 
> 
> -cat

“Don’t forget your passport, Sammy!” Sam heard Dean yell from upstairs.

“It’s in my bag already,” the younger Winchester yelled back, rubbing his tired eyes with a yawn. 

Sam’s flight back to Stanford wasn’t for another six hours, but he was already absolutely exhausted.

He hadn’t been able to sleep at _all_ the previous night, electing instead to stay up and watch shitty late-night TV with his nocturnal older brother, who seemed to be dealing just fine with the lack of sleep.

But that was probably because, unlike Sam, Dean had actually been zombie-watching the six consecutive episodes of Judge Judy that had been playing at 3am, which didn’t require the same levels of brain function that Sam had been using to think long and hard about what he was supposed to _do_.

It all came down, Sam knew, to Luke.

Luke had said he loved him. He’d actually said it. Except, he’d been high on cocaine when he said it. Sam guessed that fact took away a bit of the validity, although hopefully not all of it.

There was no doubt in his mind anymore that he loved Luke. Or, at least, he was _in_ love with him. The two sounded different in his head.

So he’d sat there on the couch at three in the morning with his brother and tried to think of a way he could fix the situation with Luke. Because he was definitely pissed at Sam.

And, honestly, Sam knew he kind of deserved it. It had been out of line when he’d said Luke didn’t take care of his family. But he’d apologized for it, and the older guy had still chucked him out… And that really wasn’t fair, was it? Sam had obviously not meant what he’d said, and Luke had gotten even with him anyway when he punched him in the face, surely.

Sam was still sporting some strong bruises on his cheekbone and a partial black eye, and he knew that if _Dean_ knew how he’d got them there would have been bloody murder. It had taken every inch of his acting skills to convince his skeptical older brother that the bruises were caused by some asshole trying to mug him on his way home.

He was pretty sure Dean had bought it, if the expression of concern and not anger on his face was anything to go by.

He wondered if Luke regretted it.

He probably didn’t.

The thought shouldn’t have made Sam feel as shit as it did.

“Sammy!” Dean was yelling again. “We gotta go in five, you got all your shit?”

Sam glanced over to his suitcase by the front door. “Yeah,” he called back. “Did you wrap the thing for Luke?”

Dean was jogging down the stairs then, a wrapped parcel in one hand and his (John’s) car keys in the other. “Got it,” he grinned as he chucked it over to Sam, who couldn’t help but let out a pained noise as he twisted in his chair to catch it before it hit the ground.

“Dean, be careful! They break fucking easily, it was expensive-“

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have just got him a gift card or something.”

Sam frowned at his brother, who was now drinking milk straight out of the carton. Gross. “Because we decided to get him something he actually NEEDS, remember?”

“I don’t remember having this conversation, Sam. I remember you going out at 10pm saying, ‘I gotta get Luke a birthday present, see you later!’. I had no part in this.”

Sam gave him a sarcastic look.

“Hey, princess, no need to give me Bitchface #12, I’m just giving you the facts here. You ready to go?”

“Just about,” Sam grumbled as he stood up and stretched out his back. “What’re you gonna go if John gets back while I’m gone?”

Dean shrugged as he picked up Sam’s bag. “Stay with Cas I guess, why?”

“Just askin’.”

Dean narrowed his eyes slightly as he watched Sam approach him. “Are you sure you’re okay to go back today? You’ve been kinda weird all day and your face looks like it’s been hit by a truck.”

Sam raised an eyebrow as he pulled on his coat and picked up his backpack. “Wow, thanks.”

Dean smirked. “My pleasure. But seriously, Sam-“

“I’m fine,” Sam said firmly as he pulled open the front door. “Really. Let’s just go, I want to have time to say bye to everyone before I leave. And to give Luke his thing.”

“Did you settle things with Luke, then? You never really did answer me yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Sam said after a minute, and going by Dean’s expression he sounded less than certain. “Everything’s fine.”

“Right,” his older brother sighed with a roll of his eyes, pushing past Sam and out the door. “Sure it is.”

Sam frowned and let the door swing shut behind them. 

 

*

 

“Hello Dean,” Castiel greeted warmly as the door to the Miltons’ house was pulled open. “Hi Sam. Are you all set to go?”

Dean clapped Sam on the back, and he felt himself jolt forwards slightly with the force of it. “You bet he is,” Dean said proudly. “Second year at Stanford, how about that. Dunno where he gets it from to be honest.” 

Sam smiled slightly as Cas moved out of the way to let them in, sidestepping around Dean as his brother leaned in to lightly kiss the dark-haired boy on the cheek. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Kitchen,” Cas explained as he closed the door and turned to face him. “Trying to make a cake. Luke’s birthday, rememb- Oh my _god_ , Sam, your _face_! What happened to you?!”

Sam shrugged as he pulled off his jacket and hung it on one of the hooks beside the door. “Some asshole tried to mug me.”

Cas was wearing the same suspicious expression that Dean had worn when Sam had told the same story the night before. Thankfully, though, he said nothing else on the matter.

“So,” Dean said loudly in an attempt to break what had become a somewhat uncomfortable silence. “Kitchen?” He grabbed Castiel’s hand and pulled him through to the other room, leaving Sam alone by the door.

_Awkward_.

He brushed his hair back with one hand, took a deep breath, and headed through the living room into the kitchen.

There was a large paper banner taped across the doorway, with ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE’ written in purple capitals across it. Balloons were hanging lifelessly from lamps and left abandoned on the couch, and there was a small pile (consisting of four) of presents sitting on the living room coffee table.

“Morning Sam,” came Anna’s cheerful voice when Sam entered the kitchen. He smiled back at her by the kitchen table, where she was messily whisking something in a mixing bowl.

He also got a half-wave, half-salute from Gabriel by the oven, a hug from Naomi, and a shy smile from Alfie, who was feeding Ruby what looked like cereal.

Luke was nowhere to be seen.

“Hey,” Sam grabbed Castiel’s arm as he moved past with a bag of flour. “You know where Luke is?”

Cas shrugged. “Upstairs, I think. He doesn’t usually get up early on his birthday. His one lie-in of the year, you know?”

Sam raised the gift-wrapped box in his hand. “Where should I put this?”

“Did you see the pile on the table?”

Sam nodded.

“There’s good. Or,” Cas paused, raising an eyebrow slightly. “If you wanted to give it to him yourself-“

“I’ll think about it,” Sam interrupted, and Cas just shook his head slightly, moving away from Sam and heading towards Alfie.

“How’s the cake coming along, Gabriel?” Sam asked cheerfully as he reached for the pot of lukewarm but somehow still appealing coffee on the counter.

“Awesome,” Gabriel grinned. “It was supposed to be Alfie’s project, technically, but hey, I’m good with sweet stuff. Pass me that spoon, could ya?”

Sam chucked it at him. “What flavor is it?”

“Lemon,” Naomi supplied as she lifted one up. “It’s his favourite.”

“Good choice,” Sam agreed.

“Chocolate cake is the best,” Alfie’s voice supplied from somewhere to Sam’s left.

Sam watched as Anna crinkled her nose, and said at the same time as Dean; “I prefer pie.”

The two then let out a loud shout of excitement and gave each other a high five.

Cas rubbed his temple with his fingers while Sam just laughed.

Twenty minutes later it was 11:00 and Luke still wasn’t downstairs. The rest of the family was playing music now, and the sound of The Kinks’ Sunny Afternoon floated through the kitchen as the smell of baking filled the air. It would’ve been really relaxing if Sam hadn’t been so stressed out.

He just wanted everything to be over. He wanted to sort things out with Luke and go back to school. He wanted it all to be packed up in a box somewhere and shoved on a shelf. He wanted it done.

But, unfortunately, it was never gonna work out like that.

Another ten minutes and he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Cas, I’m gonna go wake him up,” Sam sighed as he stood up from his spot at the kitchen table.

Gabriel let out a whistle from the other side of the kitchen. “Woah there, Moose, you got a death wish? He’ll cut you into little pieces. It’s your fault when he does.”

Cas let out a huff of a laugh and lightly nudged his brother with his elbow. “Go for it, Sam. But maybe keep a safe distance.”

“Just in case,” Naomi smirked from behind her orange juice.

Sam met Dean’s gaze, and Dean just winked at him with a smug smirk. Sam shot him a sarcastic smile before taking the stairs two at a time, gripping the parcel he was still holding tightly in his hands.

He paused outside Luke’s room, taking a deep breath.

Was he sure he wanted to do this?

Yes.

Yes he was. 

He had to.

He wanted it all to be over.

He knocked once, and before he could do so again the door creaked open.

Sam stuck his head through the crack to find Luke lying splayed out on the bed, face pressed into the pillow, arms curled up above his head. He was only wearing his boxers, so Sam could clearly make out the huge, full-colour tattoo of a mermaid spanning his back.

Sam stared at him for a moment, blonde hair pushed up in all directions, breathing muffled slightly by the pillow, and wondered just how angry he was going to be when Sam woke him up.

_No, no, don’t lose your guts now. Come on Winchester. Do it. You’re leaving in a few hours anyway. Come on._

“Luke,” Sam said gently, but his voice came out so hoarse it was barely audible. He cleared his throat loudly, then tried again. “Hey, Luke?”

There was a slight shuffling movement from the man on the pillow before he fell still again.

Sam gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath before hesitantly reaching out and touching Luke’s shoulder. “Luke?”

There was a groaning sound from the pillow. “Cas, go ‘way,” Luke grumbled as he shifted away from Sam, burrowing into the mess of blankets at his feet.

“It’s… It’s Sam, not Cas,” he said after a second, biting his lip. _This is gonna be interesting…_

“Mmhh,” came the slightly confused, groggy response. “Sam?”

Luke lifted his head off the pillow, squinting in surprise at Sam. His pale blue eyes were still glazed over with sleep, but there were large dark circles underneath them. 

“What the fuck, kid, I thought I told you literally only yesterday to leave me alone.”

That was it? That was the extent of his anger? “You were high.”

Luke collapsed back against the pillow with a humph, settling into the mattress. “You were a dick.”

Sam was definitely confused now. He’d expected Luke to rage at him, or punch him again or something, but no. “Well, so were you. You punched me in the face.”

“Mm, did I?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Lemme see.” Luke raised his head again, spun over and propped himself up on his elbows with a yawn. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the light before snatching at Sam’s hair and jerking his head around, frowning at the bruises on his cheekbones.

“Ow,” Sam snapped, but Luke seemed to ignore him.

“I still can’t see,” he complained, and for some fucking reason he kept a tight grip on Sam’s hair as he fumbled around on the bedside table for his glasses.

“ _Luke_ ,” Sam hissed pointedly as the blonde man put on his stupid glasses and began to carefully examine Sam’s face.

The older man shrugged. “They’ll be fine.” He let go.

“Dick,” Sam muttered as he rubbed his head. “You’re not gonna apologise for punching me, then?”

“You’re not going to apologise for saying what you said about my family?”

Sam frowned. “I already did.”

There was a silence. Luke rolled over to the other side of the bed and pulled a cigarette out of one of the drawers of the little cabinet beside him. He collapsed back against the pillows and lit it, inhaling deeply before speaking again. “So you’re leaving today, huh?”

“Looks that way,” Sam sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. “Luke, about what you said yesterday-“

“Sam,” Luke groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re seriously _not_ going to talk about that, I was on _crack_ -“

“I feel like we really need to talk about it,” Sam insisted, leaning forwards slightly, but suddenly there was a hand on his chest shoving him roughly back.

“We don’t,” came Luke’s warning tone, and Sam held up both hands in semi-surrender.

“Okay, okay. But… But just so you know, I-“

Sam felt a sharp slap on his right cheek. He gasped in shock, tenderly poking at his stinging cheek before glaring down at Luke, who was calmly taking another drag from his cigarette. “Dude! What the _fuck_?!”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Luke said loudly. “Don’t say it. Please don’t say it. I’ll fucking drown you Sam, and I’m not kidding.”

“But I-“

“ _Shut up.”_

“I could stay here if you wanted.”

Luke stilled on the bed, before slowly turning to stare skeptically at Sam. “I’m sorry?”

“I could stay. You know, if… If you wanted me to.”

Luke rolled his eyes, lifting the cigarette back to his lips. “What the hell makes you think I’d want that?”

Sam felt a pang of hurt in his chest but he pressed on, “Because I _know_ you-“

“Clearly not,” Luke muttered under his breath, and that was enough to send Sam over the edge.

“For god’s sake,” he cried out, practically slapping himself in the forehead with exasperation. “Are you being serious right now? Luke, for fuck’s sake, I am willing to bet you any sum of money that I know you a hell of a lot better than you clearly think I do.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Luke snarled, sitting up in the bed and leaning back on his hands. “You didn’t even know my _birthday_ until yesterday.”

“Oh, so when’s mine?”

Luke scoffed, “That is _completely_ outside the point, Sam-“

“Is it?! Is it really?!”

“Just _go_ back to school, okay? It’s for the fucking best.” Luke rubbed his face with one hand, dropping the cigarette in his other into an overflowing ashtray beside his bed.

Sam raised both his hands in exasperation. “ _Why_ do you want me to leave so bad, huh?! Am I really that unbearable?”

Luke groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “Oh come on, you _know_ why-“

“No, actually I don’t, please enlighten me!” Sam said sarcastically, flicking up an eyebrow at the other man.

“Because you’re _better_ than this,” Luke half yelled. “You’re better than this town, Sam, you can _do_ better! You could go somewhere and do important shit that I don’t understand! You can do _better_ than us, better than _me_! And one day, with the help of bloody god, you _will_!”

Sam let out a snort of laughter. “Oh, so this is just a self-confidence thing, my bad.”

Luke sighed, tugging at his hair with one hand. “Oh, that is _so_ typical; you know, just because I’m poor doesn’t mean I’ve got self-image issues.”

“So then what’s with all this ‘you’re better than me’ crap?! Jesus, Luke, way to put me on a pedestal!”

“ _Trust_ me, Sam, I don’t put people on pedestals.”

“Then what do you call this?!”

“ _Helping_!” Luke said in an exasperated tone. “I’m _helping_! Trying to make sure you don’t end up where I am!”

“I _like_ where you are!” Sam argued back, frowning. “What’s so wrong with your life that you want to fucking protect me from it?!”

Luke stared incredulously at him. “Did you seriously just ask me that question?”

Sam couldn’t help but wince as he replayed the words in his head. “I did a bit, yeah.”

“Isn’t this why I kicked you out yesterday?”

“Are you going to kick me out again?”

“No,” Luke muttered as he crossed his legs and rested his face in his hands. “No, I’m not.”

There was a silence.

“The others are downstairs making a lemon cake for you.”

Luke groaned. “They haven’t put up a banner, have they?”

“Afraid they have, yeah.”

“Fucking hell. Does it have my age on it?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, the message got through to them last year then.”

Sam couldn’t help but smirk. “What happened last year?”

Luke just stared at him. “Trust me when I say this, Winchester; you do not want to know.”

Sam smiled slightly at the mattress, absently picking at a loose string on the blanket. “I kind of want to know.”

“Well tough shit, kid, because I’m not telling you.” Luke reached for another cigarette.

Sam crinkled his nose. “No, don’t do that. Don’t chain smoke. It’s so not attractive.”

Luke raised an eyebrow at him as he lit his second one. “Good thing I’m not out to impress then, huh?”

Sam just rolled his eyes.

There was another brief silence, but this one was a lot less uncomfortable than the last few.

Sam was once again the one to break it.

“I got you a birthday present.”

Luke groaned. “Oh god, what the hell did you do that for? We're in a fight, Sam, you don’t buy people presents when you’re in a fight.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Because I felt bad for leaving on your birthday, that’s why. Especially after you said-“

“No,” Luke said loudly over him, causing Sam to laugh slightly as he held out the package he’d been holding ever since they left John’s house.

“Open it.”

“Bossy,” Luke smirked, but he begun to peel off the wrapping paper nonetheless.

“I figured it would be best if Dean and I pooled our shit together to get you something you’d actually use,” Sam explained.

Luke stared in shock down at the thing in his hands before slowly looking back up at Sam. “I can’t accept this, Sam. I can’t let you buy me a phone.”

“Dude,” Sam sighed. “You’re twenty six, you need your own fucking phone-“

“Really,” Luke insisted, trying to shove it back at Sam. “I can’t, they cost a _lot_ of money and I don’t really need one that much anyways-“

Sam snorted. “Like hell you don’t! To reach you I have to either physically show up here or wait for my brother to find Cas so I can text _him_! You’re a communicational nightmare!”

“I resent that accusation because you love showing up here,” Luke threw back, still trying to pass the phone- a blackberry, specifically- back to Sam. “And we have an emergency phone anyway-“

“But I want to be able to talk to you when it’s _not_ an emergency,” Sam groaned. “You know, like a normal fucking conversation over the god damn phone? I’m gonna be in California, Luke, I want to be able to _talk_ to you.”

“You didn’t have to do this,” Luke sighed as he let the phone drop onto the bed. “I’ll pay you back, Sam, I _will_ -“

“Don’t,” Sam said firmly. “Really. Don’t. It’s a birthday present. From me _and_ Dean. And also kind of an apology gift for yesterday.”

“I wish you were an asshole, you know that? You’re such a fucking good person, I literally hate you for it.”

Sam’s lips twitched into a smile. “That’s not quite true,” he said in a teasing tone, but then he felt a hard elbow to his gut and actually doubled over in pain.

“Ow,” he wheezed out, but he could already feel Luke’s concerned gaze on him.

“Sorry,” he said with a half-guilty, half-amused expression. “I didn’t mean for that to be as violent as it turned out. I’m sorry.”

“You are  _very_ violent,” Sam muttered as he straightened up again. 

Luke gave him an innocent grin. “I said I was sorry!”

Sam chuckled as he shook his head. “You’re so not sorry.”

Luke just laughed. He picked up the phone again, twisting it around in his fingers as he examined it. “Thank you,” he said after a moment, glancing up at him with a soft smile that made Sam’s insides churn. “I really, really appreciate this.”

Sam felt himself go red. “It’s nothing,” he dismissed, waving a hand. “Honest.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s fine.” Sam swallowed.

Luke dropped the remains of his second cigarette into the ashtray and rolled out of bed with a yawn, stretching like a cat as he got to his feet.

Sam eyed his back as he turned away and began pulling on a pair of jeans that were arguably too loose around his hips; not that Sam was going to be the one to complain.

“Are you staring at me, Sam?”

Sam’s cheeks went scarlet. “No,” he muttered as he turned away.

He could feel Luke’s smirk on his back. “Whatever,” the blond said in a singsong voice as he put his hands in his back pockets, still not wearing a shirt, and smirked at Sam. “Because, I mean, I wouldn’t _mind_ -“

“You’re such an asshole,” Sam complained as he frowned at him.

“And you liiiiike it,” Luke was laughing, holding up his middle finger in Sam’s general direction.

“Fuck off,” Sam chuckled as he lifted himself off the bed and began to head over to the door. “Everyone’s downstairs waiting for you; put a shirt on, let’s go.”

“Sam, wait-“ Luke grabbed his wrist, and where his skin touched Sam’s it almost burned.

Luke must’ve felt the same sensation because he immediately let go, looking flustered. “Um, what’s the deal here? With us?”

“Well, I’m going to go catch my plane and go back to school,” Sam said with a sigh, running his hand through his hair. “I’m gonna go unpack all my shit and go to a few classes, get settled back in, and then I’m going to call you.”

Luke grinned. “And if I don’t pick up?”

Sam smirked. “You’d better.”

Luke laughed softly to himself, pushing his glasses up into his hair. “We’re still not a thing, are we?”

Sam chuckled. “To be or not to be, that is the question.”

Luke half smiled as he looked up at Sam. “Well?”

Sam shrugged. “I… I dunno. Probably not. It’ll be easiest if we’re not, considering the current situation.”

“I know.”

“I’d be cool with it if we were though.”

Luke smirked. “Yeah, me too.”

Sam swallowed. “Because Luke, I really do-“

“No, Sam, I already told you not to say it.”

“ _You_ said it!”

“I was really, really high.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

Luke was grinning again. “Come on, Winchester. You’re only mad because I said it first.”

“I’m mad because you said it high.”

“ _I’m_ mad I said it at all.”

“Why, is it not true?”

“I never said that,” Luke argued with a frown. “Get out of the way, I gotta get to the kitchen.”

Sam grinned widely. “Oh, so it _is_ true!”

Luke spluttered, “Hey, I didn’t say that either! Stop twisting my words around.”

“You love me,” Sam teased in a singsong tone as he pulled Luke into a half-headlock with one arm. “You said you loooooved meeee…”

“Fuck off,” Luke groaned with a laugh, trying to pull himself out of Sam’s grip. “Let me go, Sam I need to go downstairs-“

“Never,” Sam laughed, but he wasn’t laughing when Luke elbowed him in the crotch and slid easily from his grip, laughing like a twelve year old.

“Dude,” Sam gasped out as he doubled over, knees shaking. “Not cool…”

Luke grinned, swinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him roughly out of the room with him. “You’re leaving in a few hours, right? Gotta shove in as much douche time as I can before you go.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” Sam managed as Luke practically shoved him down the stairs.

“Well, tough. I’m making this shit up as I go.” Luke turned briefly around to grin at Sam before he pushed open the door to the kitchen.

There was a roar of excited shouting from the rest of the Miltons when Luke entered the room, and both of his sisters practically threw themselves at him in what had to be a _strangling_ hug.

“Happy birthday,” Cas was laughing from the table where he was sitting perched on the edge of Dean’s chair.

“Cake smells amazing,” Luke commented with a grin as he collapsed down into the chair beside Alfie.

“Happy birthday Luke,” Alfie said with a smile, and Luke leaned over to hug his little brother with one arm.

“Thanks buddy,” he grinned, ruffling his hair. “Where’s Ruby?”

“Gabriel’s got her taste-testing the cake mix.”

“Oh right, bet she loves that; Gabe-“

“I know, I know, salmonella…” Gabriel carried Ruby back over to Luke and dropped her in his lap, giving his older brother a clap on the back. “Happy birthday man.”

“Thanks bro.” Luke smiled up at him before lifting Ruby up to stand on his knees. “Hey baby girl, how you doing?!”

Sam crossed his arms and watched him with a smile from the other end of the room. Everything looked so perfect.

“Are you two okay, then?” Came a deep voice from behind him, and Sam jumped as Castiel’s face peered up at him from behind his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said after a few seconds of trying to adjust to the situation. “Yeah, we’re… We’re good, I think.”

Cas let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Because I still need to have words with him about his relationship with you, and it’ll be easier if he’s not in a bad mood to start with."

Sam frowned. “Cas, really, you don’t need to talk to him about-“

“Yes, Sam. I do.”

Cas stalked off before Sam could say anything else.

Dean was grinning evilly up at Sam from his seat at the table. “Nice,” he mouthed over the clamour.

Sam stuck his middle finger up at him.

“Hey Sam?” Luke was gesturing for him to go over.

“What?” He asked when he arrived at the blond man’s side.

Luke thrust Ruby into his arms and then forcefully shoved him into a chair. “Watch her for a second?” He pleaded, patting his pocket. “Smoke.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure, you got it.”

He disappeared out the back door.

“So Sam,” Naomi said conversationally from where she was sitting up on the counter. “When do you have to leave?”

Sam shrugged slightly, bouncing Ruby up and down on his knee. “In about an hour, maybe? Pretty soon. I don’t want to miss my flight.”

“Is Dean taking you?” Anna piped up.

“Yes I am, little lady,” Dean said with a nod in her direction.

“Are you coming back?”

“Who, me or Dean?” Sam questioned with a frown.

Anna shrugged, folding her arms across her bright pink t-shirt. “Both!”

“I’ll be back again this evening after I’ve dropped Sam at the airport,” Dean explained, “And Sammy will be back… Actually, Sam, when _will_ you be back?”

“Christmas, maybe?” Sam shrugged, snatching a tissue off the table and using it to wipe Ruby’s nose.

“What about Halloween? Or Thanksgiving?” Cas suggested. “We’d love to have the both of you here for either of them.”

Sam grinned. “Thanks, Cas. I’ll see what I can afford and work it out from there.”

“Work what out?” Luke asked as he came back in, stinking like cigarette smoke.

“CAKE,” Gabriel interrupted loudly, bouncing up and down on his heels as he lifted the final product (sans icing) out of the oven. “I DIDN’T FUCK IT UP SO FAR, YOU GUYS.”

“Well done,” Cas and Luke said at the same time; Luke sounding genuinely enthusiastic while Castiel just rolled his eyes.

“It smells like it’ll taste good,” Alfie commented.

“Good? _Good_?!” Gabriel winked at him. “Trust me. It’s gonna taste fucking beautiful.”

 

* 

 

Sam was sure that if they didn’t make a move in the next ten minutes, he wasn’t going to make his flight.

The cake, as Gabriel had guessed, was delicious. He’d had three slices. He was pretty sure Luke had eaten seven.

The presents were less impressive. Out of the five gifts he’d gotten, excluding the phone, Luke had received a magazine, two packs of cigarettes, whiskey, and an eggplant from Lilith. He’d said it was an inside joke, but Sam noticed him examining it in confusion when he’d thought nobody else was looking.

After presents, and since the mystery of the eggplant was clearly not going to be explained, the interest in Luke’s birthday seemed to wear away. The rest of his siblings had disappeared off to various places, and since Ruby was down for a nap, that just left Sam, Cas and Dean to celebrate with him.

Not that he seemed interested in celebrating. So far he’d been happy to sit on the couch with a bottle of tequila and watch as Dean and Cas tongue fucked each other to Train.

“Dean,” he tried for the fifth time over Drops of Jupiter blasting from the speakers. “Dean- DEAN!”

His brother was either deaf or completely ignoring him. He had his arms wrapped around Cas’ neck and was practically shoving him against the wall.

“DEAN,” Sam literally yelled from across the room, waving his arms around in exasperation. “I’M GONNA MISS MY FUCKING PLANE!”

“Wouldn’t that be horrible,” Luke purred from the couch, tilting his head back to look up at Sam with a lopsided smirk.

“You’re drunk,” Sam sighed as he jumped the back of the couch to sit beside him.

“A little,” Luke agreed, resting his head on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam couldn’t help but smile slightly as his hair tickled his face. “I really do need to fucking go, though. I’ll miss my plane.”

“I’d drive,” Luke offered, “But I’d get arrested, and I’m pretty sure I’m technically still on parole from last time, but my parole officer died last year so they might’ve given up on me.”

Sam stared at him incredulously. “Were you ever gonna mention that?”

Luke actually giggled. “Probably not. I won’t remember telling you in the morning anyway.”

“Have you ever killed anybody? Did you kill your parole officer?”

Luke was full-on laughing now.

“Be honest. Even by accident. Tell me the truth right now.”

Luke shook his head as he wiped a tear of laughter out of his eye.

Sam sighed loudly.

They fell into silence.

“Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star, one without a permanent scar,” Luke was humming against Sam’s neck in time with the radio, and Sam hesitantly wrapped one arm around his shoulders, eyeing Dean watchfully the entire time.

“Luke,” he managed softly after a minute.

“Mm,” the other man sighed.

“I really do need to go.”

“I know,” Luke said with a slight shake of his head. He sighed. “I know.” He looked up at Sam, frowning slightly. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll call you when I get there.”

“You’d better.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Hey Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I punched you in the face.”

Sam let out a snort of laughter. “I think we’ve moved past that now, dude.”

Luke cupped his jaw with his hand and roughly twisted his head to face him. “I mean it,” he said with a frown. “I’m sorry.”

Sam swallowed. “It’s fine,” he said after a minute. “Really. I kinda deserved it.”

“You should get going, you’ll be late.”

Sam snorted. “I’m already late.”

They stared at each other for a minute, both unmoving, before Luke finally tore his gaze away and stood up, marching over to their brothers, who were currently involved in a liplock situation that didn’t seem to be ending any time soon.

“CASTIEL,” Luke almost shouted into his little brother’s ear as he wrenched him away from Dean and planted himself firmly in the middle. “Deano here’s gotta drive Sammy to the airport, you gotta fuck off for a minute so he doesn’t jump your bones and make him late.”

Dean frowned at Luke. “You could’ve just called me or something,” he muttered, shoving past Luke to get to Sam.

“We did try,” Sam explained with a grin. “You were a little occupied-“

“Shut the _fuck_ up, Sammy.”

“Woaaahhh, okay- Dean, where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” he replied hotly, disappearing up the stairs.

_Heh. Bathroom my ass._

Castiel gave Sam a sullen look before slinking off into the kitchen.

Luke turned back to Sam, grinning. “That was actually really fun.”

Sam smiled and held out his hand. “Thanks, Luke. For everything.”

Luke grinned back and placed his hand firmly in Sam’s, giving it a strong shake. “Right back at you, Winchester.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“You too.”

Sam noticed their hands were still clasped together.

“You’ll come back and visit, right?”

Sam snorted. “My only house is twenty minutes away and our brothers are fucking, so chances are I’ll be back to visit sooner or later.”

Luke gave him a half grin, winking as he chuckled, “Make it sooner.”

Sam laughed, and without even thinking about it he pulled Luke towards him by his wrist and pressed their mouths together.

Luke’s fingers immediately snaked their way into Sam’s hair and jerked his head violently downwards, forcing them even closer together as the unforgiving taste of smoke and tequila burned its way into Sam’s tongue.

“WOAH HELL NO,” came a loud yell from the other side of the room.

Sam jerked back with a yelp of surprise but Luke just groaned, letting his head collapse forwards and rest on Sam’s chest.

“Fuck your brother, Sam,” he sighed as Dean marched over and shoved Luke backwards.

“ _No_ ,” he repeated loudly, “Not _anywhere_ near me, no thanks.”

“We literally _just_ witnessed you and my baby brother-“

"Sam's _my_ baby brother!"

"I don't see why we have to get into this," Sam complained loudly. "Let it _go_ , children-"

“Sam,” Dean sighed, “Get in the car.”

Sam frowned. “I gotta say bye to Cas.”

Cas appeared then, holding another piece of cake.

“Oh good, here’s Cas,” Dean exclaimed a little too excitedly.

“Are you leaving _now_ , Sam?” Cas asked with a frown.

Sam couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah. Thanks for all you did for me, Cas. And take care of my brother.”

Cas laughed, putting the cake down on the coffee table and pulling Sam into a hug. “It was a pleasure, Sam, really. You’re welcome back any time.”

“ _Any_ time,” Luke prompted with a wink from over Dean’s shoulder. “Surprise me.”

Dean elbowed him in the ribs.

 

*

 

Luke sat with his chin resting on his hands in the armchair as he waited for Sam to come back downstairs from saying goodbye to all the kids.

Dean was still glaring at him from across the room with his arms folded, leaning against the wall.

He was pretty amused by it.

“Will you go up to see him?” Came Castiel’s quiet voice from his right.

Luke shrugged, not looking at his brother. “I dunno. Probably not. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you care for him.”

Luke scoffed. “Says who?”

Cas stared at him with a pointed expression.

Luke just rolled his eyes.

He knew he probably wouldn’t go up to visit Sam. He couldn’t afford to fly to California, and there was no way he could afford the gas to drive. But he guessed he’d call him often enough, if Sam wanted.

The kid would probably find a hot California chick to go out with within the first few weeks anyway.

That didn’t bother Luke. Definitely not. Not like he was all alone down here with five siblings and a kid and next to no means of ever leaving.

He totally wasn’t going to miss the stupid kid.

Totally not.

Sam was coming back down the stairs.

Luke got to his feet. “You all set, then?”

Sam gave him a half smile. “Yeah, I’m set. I… I guess I’ll see you when I see you then, huh?”

Luke found himself grinning back, for Sam’s sake. “Don’t forget to call, kiddo. None of this will-he-won’t-he crap, okay? Just pick up the damn phone.”

Sam laughed, facing away from Luke and down at the floor. “I will.”

“Alright Sammy, time to get moving,” Dean was saying, clapping his brother on the shoulder.

Sam exchanged another quick hug with Cas, and his eyes met Luke’s for one last time before he was being shoved out the door by his brother.

The same door swung shut a few seconds later.

“I miss him already,” Luke found himself sighing.

He knew Cas was giving him a disgustingly gay pitying look, so he hit him in the arm.

The new phone in his pocket made a happy 'ding' sound, over the frustrated noises of pain Castiel was making beside him. Confused, Luke pulled the phone out; he hadn't actually programmed anything into it yet, so it shouldn't have started making noises already, should it?

He had a text message, apparently. Confused, he clicked on the notification button.

**1 MESSAGE FROM: SAM**

"Huh," Luke muttered, clicking on it.

**TO: LUKE**

**FROM: SAM**

**srsly tho dude whats up with the eggplant gift from ur weird ex girlfriend?**

Luke found himself grinning down at the dim screen as he typed out a reply.

**TO: SAM**

**FROM: LUKE**

**god only knows. maybe she wants to be helpful and offer me cooking advice.**

"Are… Are you smiling at a text?" Cas asked incredulously from beside him, squinting in confusion at his face.

Luke frowned up at him. "Shut the fuck up. Hey, stop reading over my shoulder, dude, privacy!"

Cas held up his hands in mock surrender and took a few steps back. "My apologies, ma'am."

Luke was about to snap out another retort, but before he could his phone buzzed again.

**TO: LUKE**

**FROM: SAM**

**as i'm gone now for a few months can i say the thing u already said but for some reason don't want me saying?**

Luke rolled his eyes, tapping on the keys.

**TO: SAM**

**FROM: LUKE**

**over text? that's pathetic, don't you dare.**


	13. Cross That Bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i finally got around to posting this, i know it's been forever, and i really can't apologise enough. i've been really busy with family stuff recently and just haven't had the time, i'm so sorry for making you guys wait <3
> 
> anyway, since this is the final chapter, i just wanted to thank all of you for sticking with this story, and for all the amazing comments i've received since i started. your kind words mean the world to me, seriously :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr if you want to say hello- [macbeth-no](http://macbeth-no.tumblr.com)
> 
> thanks again to everyone who read this, even if you didn't really like it, because it just means a lot to me that anyone would in the first place. i'd really appreciate any feedback you have :)
> 
> -cat

“So,” Dean said with a wide grin as Sam slid into the passenger seat beside him. “How was school?!”

Sam grinned over at him, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was good,” he answered as Dean pulled messily out of the airport parking lot in the Chevvy that John apparently had never taken back. “Hard work, but I love it.”

“You’re such a nerd,” his brother was smirking.

Sam hadn’t actually seen Dean in almost three months, since his brother dropped him off at the airport in September.

It was now December 21st, four days before Christmas, and he was going home for the first time since he’d left at the beginning of that year.

He was really, _really_ glad to be back.

Not that he hadn’t enjoyed school, because really, he had. It was just he’d missed everyone back home. Especially Dean, and especially Luke.

He’d spoken to Dean pretty often since he left. One or two texts a day, maybe a phone call over the weekend just to catch up. Sam talked about school, and Dean talked about his life. 

He knew, for example, that Dean had gotten a job at the old Singer Salvage yard just outside of town, and that he was now practically _living_ with Cas, who was seemingly spending most of his time at John’s old house with Dean.

He also knew that aside from coming back once to collect some of his things, Dean hadn’t heard from their father at all. There had been an argument, but Sam was promised that Dean had taken care of it. Sam was secretly glad he’d missed it. 

But if he’d spoken to Dean pretty often, then it was _nothing_ compared to how much time he’d spent talking to Luke.

The guy’s name was always at the top of his ‘recent messages’ list. When he wasn’t texting Luke he was either asleep, in the shower, or in an exam.

It actually reached a point where his friends had started to become suspicious.

“You know Sam,” his friend Charlie had teased him one night as they were sat curled up on the couch watching Game of Thrones, Sam’s phone in his hand; “I’m starting to think you lied to me, and you _do_ have a secret girlfriend back home you’re not telling any of us about.”

Sam remembered laughing and smacking her lightly on the arm.

Then there was the other time when Ash had grabbed his phone out of his hand during class.

“Oh shit bro I’m sorry, I thought you were texting a girl. Who’s Luke?” He’d asked curiously, but Sam had snatched it back before he could read any further.

“Family friend,” he had muttered as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

Unlike Dean, who talked to Sam about the big things that were going on in his life, Sam and Luke talked about little stuff. Stupid stuff. Stuff like what to have for dinner, or what the weather was like, or how Sam’s work was going.

They talked about stars, too, because for some reason Luke had suddenly really got into astrology and star signs and all that teenage girl shit. When Sam had pointed this out Luke had gotten offended and immediately blamed Naomi, which Sam knew was complete bullshit, but he’d said nothing.

Only once had Sam asked about how his ’job’ was going, but Luke had shut him down so fast that Sam was afraid to ask again.

They hadn’t discussed their relationship properly since the last time they saw each other, but Sam kind of assumed that they were in a weird kind of long-distance almost-relationship thing, and he knew that Luke probably did too.

At least, he hoped he did.

He’d texted Luke that morning before he got on the plane, but had only received a one-word text of ‘working’ in response, so he supposed Luke would get back to him later.

For now, he had his big brother for company.

“So tell me more about your new job,” Sam pressed, watching Dean with a smile as his brother focused on the road.

Dean’s face split into a wide grin. “Oh, Sammy, it’s awesome. Real fucking awesome. I mean, I always enjoyed screwing around with cars, you know? But I actually get _paid_ for it now!”

Sam laughed. “That’s great, Dean. Really.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed with a vehement nod. “It is.”

“And how’s Cas?”

“Cas is good.” Sam noticed him smile almost softly down at the wheel. “We’re good.”

Sam smirked. “You’re so into him it’s almost embarrassing.”

Dean’s cheeks turned scarlet and he immediately went stony-faced. “Shut up, Sam.”

“Sorry,” he couldn’t help but mock, earning him a hard punch on his thigh. “How’s the rest of them, anyway? You know; Gabriel, Anna-“

Dean snorted. “Luke?”

Sam felt his cheeks warm slightly. “Yeah. How are they?”

Dean was smirking now, and Sam didn’t even have to look at him to know it. “They’re all doing great. The kids are, anyway; I haven’t actually seen Luke in at least three days, he’s always out when I drop by.”

“Are we going back home first or straight there?”

Dean shrugged, absently tapping on the steering wheel with his hands. “It’s up to you, man.”

“Can we go there? I want to see everyone.”

Dean smirked. “You want to see Luke, you mean.”

“He probably won’t even be there, Dean, and I actually _do_ want to see the rest of the family-“

Dean was laughing. “I know, Sammy, Jesus.”

“Whatever,” Sam muttered, disgruntled.

“Did you tell any of your friends that you bat for the other team now?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “No. I don’t even think I even count as gay.”

Dean took his eyes off the road for a moment to raise his eyebrows at Sam. “I’m pretty sure that dating a guy makes you gay, Sammy.”

“Yeah but does it, though? Sexuality can be all fluid and shit-“

“Sam, no offense, but I don’t care enough to get into a deep conversation with you about this, okay?”

“Fine,” Sam huffed.

Dean clicked on the indicator as he pulled up into the driveway on Sam’s left.

Through the window, Sam stared at the familiar, rotting wooden porch steps that led up to the front door of the Miltons’ house.

“Will everyone be home by now?”

“I dunno, what’s the time?” Dean twisted the key and the engine ground to a stop.

“Half three.”

“Oh, yeah, probably. It’s a Saturday.”

Sam checked his phone; still no texts.

“Okay. Let’s go then, I guess.”

Dean grinned at him as he slid out of the bench seat and slammed the driver’s side door shut behind him.

Sam too jumped out of the car, abandoning his bags in the back and jogging to catch up to Dean, who was already standing on the porch and shoving his way through the front door.

Sam followed, and was instantly assaulted by a young girl with flaming red hair throwing herself into his arms.

“SAM!” Anna squealed, hugging him tightly.

Sam was laughing as he hugged her back, lifting her off the floor and spinning her around in a circle. “Anna! How’s life without me been, huh?”

“We missed you,” Anna giggled as Sam put her back down. She grabbed one of his hands and dragged him through into the kitchen.

“Moose,” Gabriel greeted loudly with a grin, clapping Sam on the shoulder. “Nice to see you.”

“You too, kiddo,” Sam grinned back.

After hugs from Alfie, Naomi, Anna _again_ , and an awkward handshake from Zeke, who was apparently dating Naomi again and seemed uncomfortable to be caught in the middle of everything, Sam turned to Cas.

“It’s good to have you back,” the shorter man smiled from beside Dean, before he pulled Sam into a tight hug.

“It’s good to _be_ back,” Sam managed to choke out over Castiel’s shoulder. “Cas, buddy-“

“Ah, sorry.” He leaned back again with an apologetic smile.

Dean grinned. “We’re working on that,” he laughed, patting Cas on the shoulder. “There’s a few personal space problems that we gotta sort out.”

Cas flushed, but plowed on anyway, “So, Sam, did you have a good time at school?”

Sam was still half laughing from Dean’s comment. “Yeah,” he chuckled with a shake of his head as his brother waggled his eyebrows. “I love my course. I missed it here, though.”

Cas nodded with a smile, and as he opened his mouth to say something else a loud shrieking coming from upstairs interrupted him.

Sam jolted, eyes widening, but everyone else just let out a collective groan.

“Ruby,” Cas explained with a sigh as he disentangled himself from Dean’s arm and headed over to the stairs. “The longer Luke’s away for, the more antsy she gets.”

Sam frowned. “When was the last time you saw him?”

Cas glanced at Dean, and Dean shrugged.

“Couple of days at least.”

Cas disappeared up the stairs.

“He’s ‘working’,” Gabriel explained with a roll of his eyes, using air quotes around ‘working’. “Although I don’t really see why that should merit a three-day absence. He’s probably just off on a bender.”

 _Guess he still hasn’t explained his actual job to them yet_ , Sam thought resignedly.

Cas reemerged with the still-sobbing Ruby, who miraculously brightened up when her baby-blue eyes landed on Sam.

“Sam!” She squealed, outstretching her arms and making grabby motions with her fists.

Naomi laughed from over her coffee, grinning up at Sam. “See? _Everyone_ missed you.”

Zeke squirmed uncomfortably beside her.

“Come here, you little devil,” Sam laughed as Cas carefully handed Ruby to him, who instantly wrapped her little limbs around Sam like a monkey.

“Back,” she said happily, and Sam grinned up at Cas, who was smiling back with a sparkle of amusement in his eyes.

“Yeah, kiddo,” Sam agreed, “I’m back.”

_So why wasn’t Luke?_

*

After a while the excitement of Sam arriving had seemed to wear off, and everyone had slowly gone back to whatever it is they’d been doing before he’d arrived. Everyone, that is, except for Anna, who had remained by Sam’s side as the rest of the family had gradually filtered away.

“So what did you do at college?” Anna asked curiously, swinging her legs back and forth from where she sat on the kitchen counter as she watched Sam drink his coffee.

“All sorts,” Sam shrugged, leaning on his elbows on the table and smiling at her. “I spent most of my time studying and writing essays-“

“That sounds boring,” the girl interrupted, crinkling her nose.

Sam grinned. “It is, most of the time,” he admitted, “But it’ll be worth it when I get my degree, because then I’ll be able to get a good job.”

“A job as what?”

“As a lawyer, probably.”

“What kind?”

Sam shrugged. “I dunno yet. I actually hadn’t thought about it.”

"That's okay," Anna explained with that serious expression that only children can master. "You don't have to know just yet."

"I know," Sam laughed, grinning at her.

"Do you know what you want for Christmas?"

Sam wasn't even surprised at the change of subject; Anna flitted between conversations like a moth.

"No," he admitted. "Have you?"

Anna grinned widely. "Duh, of course I have! I've got a list upstairs for Santa."

_Aw. He's managed to keep them believing in Santa._

It was even more impressive once Sam realised that that meant forcing Gabriel to not tell her the truth. 

He heard the front door fly open from the next room.

“SAM?”

He jumped to his feet, heart in his chest, because _oh god I know that voice-_

“Luke’s home!” Anna exclaimed happily, jumping down from the counter as the wide-eyed blond practically fell through the kitchen door, stopping dead in his tracks and staring at Sam.

He looked mostly the same.

His hair was a tiny bit longer and somehow even more unruly, but he still wore the same tattered clothes, the same thick-framed glasses, and carried the same duffel bag.

“Um. Hey.” 

Sam swallowed. “Hi.”

“It’s, uhh. Good to see you.”

“You too…”

“Hi Luke,” Anna interrupted, not really understanding what was happening.

Luke stared at Sam for just a minute longer before his face slid into a natural-looking grin and turning to Anna. “Hey there, kiddo. Everything been ok without me?”

“Yeah,” Anna agreed with a giggle. "Were you working?"

"You bet I was." Luke held up the bag. "Guess who made enough money for Christmas presents?"

Anna grinned happily. "For all of us this time?"

Luke winked at her. "Maybe even for two each; and that's just from me, not even including Santa. We'll just have to see."

Anna let out a squeal of excitement and hugged him tightly around the middle.

Luke laughed, hugging her back. “Hey, do you think you could do me a favour, Anna Banana?”

Anna blinked curiously at up him. “What?” 

“Could you run upstairs and make sure Ruby’s okay for me? “

Anna was chewing the side of her thumb. “Do you wanna talk to Sam?”

Luke grinned, ruffling her hair, to which she let out a sharp whine of protest. “Yeah, I wanna talk to Sam. Could you leave us alone for a few minutes?”

Anna smiled. “Sure,” she agreed happily, giving Sam a smile before bouncing off up the stairs.

“She’s a great kid,” Sam started to say, before he felt all the air leave his lungs as Luke tackled him in a tight hug.

And, god, he even smelled the same.

“I missed you,” Sam sighed into his shoulder, and he felt Luke’s teeth scrape against the skin of his neck as he grinned.

“I missed you too.”

“Why didn’t you reply to my text?”

“I told you; I was working.” Luke pulled himself away and snatched at Sam’s jaw with one hand, frowning as he turned his face from side to side. “Your hair’s gotten stupidly long, Sam.”

“I haven’t had a chance to get it cut,” Sam muttered haughtily, lightly slapping Luke’s hand away. “And when was the last time you _shaved_?”

Luke frowned. “Yesterday…” He absently rubbed his cheek. “Is it really bad?”

“You’re beginning to look like Dumbledore.”

“Oh, _ha_ _ha_.”

Sam grinned. _I really missed this._

“So, Sam;” Luke was smirking at him. “Any hot girls waiting desperately awaiting your return to Stanford?”

Sam scoffed, gently punching Luke’s shoulder. “Oh yeah, of course. Like, six of them.”

Luke laughed. “Oh really? Are they more attractive than me; should I be jealous?”

Sam nodded seriously. “Very jealous, yeah.”

Luke’s face went serious, and he looked away uncomfortably. “Well that’s fortunate, because Michael and I-“

Sam’s heart practically fell to the floor. “What?!” he half shrieked, but Luke had already burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding, Sam, holy shit, I’m kidding!”

“You’re an asshole,” Sam accused, glaring at him. “That’s not funny.”

“It was pretty funny,” Luke snickered.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Aww,” Luke teased, “Don’t sulk, Sammy-“

“I’m _not_ sulking!"

“You are a little.” Luke nudged him with his elbow.

Sam frowned and slapped his arm away. “Fuck off.”

“You don’t mean that,” Luke pouted, stepping towards him and slowly wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I do,” Sam said firmly, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to shake him off.

“You don’t,” the blond purred as he stared smugly up at Sam. “You like me too much.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re such a dick,” he started to complain, but before he could finish Luke had trapped his mouth in a long, smooth kiss.

He still tasted of smoke and alcohol and crappy coffee, and Sam couldn’t help but lean into it, smiling.

_I missed you so fucking much._

“Mm,” Luke hummed as he put his hands on Sam’s chest and pushed himself backwards. “You know, Sam, that was my first kiss in three months, and I will always hate you for that.”

Sam frowned. “Why?”

“Three months, Sam. I’m twenty six, do you have any idea how hard it is to-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Sam smirked, kissing him lightly on the cheek and patting his shoulder before moving away. “Whatever, loser.”

Luke stared at him, affronted, and opened his mouth to argue, but was thankfully interrupted by the arrival of Dean and Cas, who seemed surprised and even slightly confused to see Luke standing in the kitchen.

“You’re back,” was all Cas said, head tilted in confusion as he watched Luke move over to the refrigerator and take out the orange juice.

“That would seem to be the case,” Luke agreed, tipping the carton into his mouth.

“That’s disgusting,” Dean pointed out, but Luke ignored him.

“When were you going to call and tell us where you were?” Cas sounded more and more irritated by the second.

Luke shrugged, shoving the juice back onto the shelf and slamming the fridge shut. “I had some issues with my phone.”

“Issues?”

“I ran out of credit.”

“Riiiight…”

Sam was almost 80% sure this was bullshit.

Cas carried on talking. “Are you going to tell me now?”

Luke turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Are you really sure you want to know?”

“Yes,” Cas said decisively, before pausing. “Wait-“

“Exactly.” Luke glanced over at Sam. “I’m going upstairs to say hi to Ruby, if you want to-“

“Sure,” Sam agreed. “I’ll come with.”

Cas frowned, holding up a hand. “No, wait one second, I’m not finished with you-“

Luke grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled him up the stairs.

“Wait here,” he instructed firmly once they reached the top, his sharp eyes meeting Sam’s for a fraction of a second before he disappeared into Ruby’s bedroom.

He was only gone for two or three minutes before he was back again, grabbing Sam’s wrist and tugging him into his own room.

“I thought we were saying hi to Ruby,” Sam protested as Luke kicked the door shut.

“I did that already,” he muttered.

Sam felt two hands on his chest push him down onto the bed, where he bounced slightly on the uncomfortable mattress. He sat up, leaning on his hands behind him. “But _I_ didn’t-”

“ _Three months, Sam_ ,” Luke interrupted loudly, and the next thing Sam knew there was a rough hand in his hair, pulling sharply back, and then Luke was kissing him.

It was so familiar; the way Luke’s fingers knotted tightly into Sam’s hair, forcing him closer and crushing their lips together so hard it was almost painful. The way every other thought in his head disappeared except for Luke’s name. The way time just seemed to stop.

Well, there was one slight problem.

“Take off your fucking glasses,” Sam laughed, voice coming out a little rougher than usual.

The older man smirked. “My bad,” he half apologized, tugging the skewed things off his face and dropping them to the ground before quickly attaching his lips back to Sam’s.

Luke’s body was pressed flush against Sam’s now, leaning over him as he sat on the edge of the bed, one hand in his hair and the other cupping his jaw, tugging him forwards.

Sam’s face was turned upwards to meet his at a really uncomfortable angle, neck aching as he fought to remain upright at the force of Luke’s starving kisses, as the older man had the height advantage here and was slowly managing to push Sam’s back further down towards the mattress.

“You’re going to break my vertebrae,” Sam complained breathlessly against Luke’s mouth, but the blonde just let out a noise of faint irritation.

“Shut up.”

Sam huffed out a laugh, shoving at Luke’s chest and causing him to stumble a few paces backwards. “Asshole.”

Luke frowned, brushing one hand through his hair and staring at Sam with a hurt expression. “What was that for?”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Dude, you can’t have sex with me if I’m in the hospital with a busted spine.”

Luke blinked innocently. “Why not?”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh, and before he could recognize Luke slinking towards him again there were rough hands on his shoulders and a mouth against his.

He practically fell into the kiss, still half grinning, and he could feel Luke’s lips stretch into a smile over his.

“Stop smiling,” came a gruff mutter, although Sam could recognize the teasing tone.

“No,” Sam chirped back, and he was rewarded with a light punch on the shoulder before Luke slid up into his lap like a cat, pressing their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Sam’s neck and clasping his hands behind his head.

He gave Sam one last, almost chaste kiss on the lips before sighing and resting his head on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam felt himself flush.

It was then that the phone rang.

“Shouldn’t you get that?”

Luke shrugged, making a nonchalant sound. “Someone else can.”

Sam nodded silently, still trying to process the fact that there was a man sitting in his lap who was surprisingly not as heavy as Sam had previously expected.

“You’re very comfortable,” Luke purred into Sam’s neck, and he swallowed dryly as Luke’s hands unfastened themselves from around his neck and dropped to his lower back. “Squishier than I expected, but comfortable nonetheless.”

"Is that your way of saying I got fat?"

"No," Luke said haughtily, "I was merely making reference to the fact that I've never sat on your lap before, and from what I can remember of our previous encounters, which tended to be standing up, you were always slightly more… Tree-like."

It occurred to Sam that they had never actually had sex on a bed before. 

He felt himself still suddenly as cool hands slid up the back of his shirt, gently brushing against his skin.

“You could at least _pretend_ to be enjoying this,” came a teasing voice that sounded very far away, and before Sam could fully register what he was doing he had tugged his own shirt off and shoved Luke sideways, pinning him down on the bed and hovering above him.

He heard a sound of surprise escape the other man’s lips and decided he liked it and _definitely_ wanted to hear it again, soon, so without warning he slammed his lips onto Luke’s and kissed him like he was the only thing that had ever mattered, the only thing that _would_ ever matter.

Suddenly Luke’s hands were fumbling with his belt, and hell, Sam had really, really missed this, and it was taking to long, and what the fuck was Luke doing anyway, had he ever even _seen_ a belt buckle before-

“ _LUKE_?”

There was a loud knock at the door.

“Hey, Luke? Someone’s on the phone for you!”

“Fuck,” Sam heard Luke sigh, and all of a sudden he was being shoved away, and Luke was standing up, picking his glasses up off the floor.

“No,” Sam objected, glaring up at him. “No, don’t answer that. Don’t you dare.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Luke pointed out, “But now Gabriel’s called for me, and I have to.”

“You suck.”

“I was going to,” Luke teased lightly, kissing Sam’s cheek. “Maybe later.”

Sam’s cheeks turned scarlet.

Luke grinned. “Aww, did I embarrass you?”

“I love you,” Sam blurted out without even thinking.

There was a brief moment of silence while Sam processed what he had just accidentally said out loud, and he supposed Luke was processing the same thing.

“I love you too,” came the calm-as-ever reply, and Sam watched as Luke’s lips twitched into a private smile as he turned away.

_Right. I knew that. I already knew that._

But Sam had to admit that hearing him say it properly did things to his chest that he didn’t think it would.

He watched as his… Could he call Luke his boyfriend? Maybe not yet. They’d have to have a conversation about that.

He watched as his kind-of-boyfriend pulled open the door to reveal Gabriel standing there with the house phone, holding it out to Luke with one eyebrow raised.

“Lilith.”

“Oh. Great.” Luke sighed deeply, taking it lifting the phone to his ear, leaving Gabriel to wander off.

Luke drifted out of Sam’s line of sight, but he could still hear his voice as he argued with Lilith over the phone; something about Ruby’s Christmas present.

Sam smiled to himself as he flopped back on the bed with a bounce of the springs, staring up at the mold-stained ceiling.

It was pretty remarkable how one of the stains almost perfectly resembled his brother. He made a mental note to point that out to Dean later on.

He wondered what was going to happen with Dean and Cas.

Now that Dean had a steady job at Singer’s, and Cas- as far as Sam knew- was still working as a basketball coach, would they end up getting married and adopting kids and getting a dog? Hell, probably. Not that Dean would admit it, but that kind of apple pie life was totally his wet dream.

It was probably Castiel’s too. It seemed like it would be.

Of course, gay marriage would have to be legalized in Georgia first, and that would sure be something.

But what about him and Luke? What would happen to them?

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he didn’t really know.

He knew that he’d stay for as long as Luke wanted him to, and despite being ‘straight’ as far as the rest of the neighborhood was concerned, he was pretty sure Luke wanted him to.

So who knows, maybe they’d end up getting a dog too; lord knows they already had enough kids.

But, the truth was, for the first time since he’d decided he wanted to be a lawyer, Sam had no idea where he wanted his life to go.

But he was healthy. And he was happy. And he had friends, his brother, school. Hell, life was pretty sweet for him at the moment. So with regards to the future, Sam guessed he’d just have to cross that bridge when he stumbled onto it by accident.

He wondered what he should get Luke for Christmas.

“Sorry about that.” Luke’s cool voice interrupted Sam’s train of thought as he approached, so he’d apparently finished his conversation with Lilith. He dropped the phone and his glasses down on the bedside table and flopping on to the bed beside Sam.

“So, where were we?”

 


End file.
